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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

September 20, 2018
Let's Get Cooking!

Treat Middle School Like a Dress Rehearsal for Life

Suki: 6 Takeaways from Research on Teen Brain Development

Steve: Practical Love
Fun Events!
Practical Love continued
Click to view our Business Directory
  Let's Get Cooking!

(0 A September 2018) Seymour_3BoysStarfish.jpgToday is a Community Free Day at Seymour Marine Discovery Center, a local treasure where children of all ages can explore the wonders and needs of our oceans. Go! And go again during Sea Otter Awareness Week.

Good news for cooks looking to build a home-based food business: the Homemade Food Operations Act (AB 626) was unanimously passed by the California state senate & was signed into law. The new law will legalize the sale of home cooked food in California.... Lets get cooking!!!

Feeling a little discouraged with extra weight? Jill Troderman is offering an inspiring, supportive series of classes for you. Jill is local and walks her talk!

Enjoy the weekend with the family! Parmalee


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  Treat Middle School Like a Dress Rehearsal for Life

(0 A September 2018) MiddleSchoolKids.jpgDr. Braden Bell, Assistant Middle School Director for Student Life, and Theater and Choral Director for Middle School, is not only a teacher, but a parent as well. With his fifth and youngest child entering Middle School, Dr. Bell's perspective on parenting a middle schooler has changed throughout the years. In his article below, he explains what he has chosen to do differently this time around as a Middle School parent.

To raise independent kids, treat middle school like a dress rehearsal for life

My fifth - and last - child is starting middle school this year. I'm also a middle school teacher, and I've been thinking a lot about what I'll do differently this time. Most of the changes stem from being realistic about what middle school is - and isn't.

Years ago I was directing a play and we had a rough first dress rehearsal. Some of the parents worried the play would be terrible, and wanting to please them, I spent more time backstage during rehearsals, micromanaging everything. At first this helped; subsequent rehearsals were smoother. Unfortunately, my students got used to me being backstage managing everything. They didn't learn to think for themselves, make decisions, or struggle through challenges to find solutions. The play never became theirs, so it never reached its potential.

The goal of a successful production is not a polished dress rehearsal...Continued>>>>



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  Suki: 6 Takeaways from Research on Teen Brain Development

(0 Aug 2018) Suki2018.jpg6 Takeaways from Research on Teen Brain Development

Not every parent is the brain research junkie I am, so I thought I'd sum up some important findings from current research into teen brains. It turns out that everything your parents thought they knew about your teen brain was probably wrong. Such is the way of science that some of the information below will be wrong soon, too, but science is making progress on understanding what sort of beast we're dealing with once the hormones hit.

In short summary:

(0 A September 2018) TeenBrain.jpgThe teen brain is changing rapidly.

Decision-making abilities are not fully formed.

Social connections matter more, for better and for worse.

What teens put in their bodies can have a permanent effect on development.

Teens need sleep!

Teens need adults.

In longer form >>>>

Suki Wessling writes fiction and nonfiction about reading, writing, parenting, education, and homeschooling and teaches online classes. Learn more "About Suki."


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  Steve: Practical Love

(0 A September 2018) SteveSpitalnySept.jpgWhat? Practical Love? Can love be practical? Let me explain

by Steve Spitalny

The main thing is that we exercise a process of transforming wisdom we have gleaned into actions coming from loving intentions.

(0 A September 2018) Dog_2Ears.jpgI think the universal question with raising young children, whether as a parent or teacher, is how to serve the true developmental and individual needs of the child, of each and every child.

To me this is practical love. We can pour out love toward the children, and provide what they truly need. There are various ways to consider basic needs. One list includes safety and connection (love). David Richo puts 5 A's on his list. These are Attention, Acknowledgment, Affection, Appreciation, and Approval. When these needs are provided, the child feels that healthy sense of attachment that is so necessary for a young child. The parents in delivering these needs to the young child create a a fabric of trust which is named love. 

With the young child, I keep in mind the following wisdom principles which I have gleaned from my life's work. These four principles inform all I do with the young children, and I have written about them numerous times already. Continued>>>

Explore the world of the young child with Stephen Spitalny, early childhood consultant and writer. Steve offers lectures, workshops and mentoring around the world. Steve blogs at Chamakanda.

  Fun Events!
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Santa Cruz Parent Seeks a Marketing/Sales Person

You are a self-starter who enjoys meeting small business owners and working with them to share their unique services with familes.

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Are you ready to enter the sandcastle contest next weekend?

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Support Group For Parenting Teens FREE!
Work on building a stronger lasting positive relationship with your teens!


We meet every last Wed. of the month, 6:30-8pm at Branciforte Small Schools' library 

FREE, drop-in 

 More details!

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Gift and Wreath Sale
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  Gift and Wreath Sale
Date: 11/17/2018
Details: Run, don't walk, to the Arboretum's ever-popular Holiday Gift and Wreath Sale!
Special Instructions: 9am-10am Members' Pre-Sale 10am-4pm General Public
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831.427.2998 view all details >>
Live Oak 10k/5k & Family Fun Run
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  Live Oak 10k/5k & Family Fun Run
Boys and Girls Club
Date: 09/22/2018 from 8:30am to 2:00pm
Details: Open to walkers and runners of all ages and fitness levels
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Santa Cruz Mountain Sol Fest
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  Santa Cruz Mountain Sol Fest
Mountain Solstice Festival
Date: Every day (Sep 22-Sep 23) from 11:00am to 7:00pm
Details: Music & Food & Kids Activities in the Mountains!
Special Instructions: Youth tickets admit ages 11 to 17 years old when purchased in tandem with an adult ticket
City: Felton view all details >>
Renaissance Faire Weekends
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  Renaissance Faire Weekends
Northern California Renaissance Faire
Date: Every Su and Sa (Sep 15-Oct 21) from 10:00am to 6:00pm
Details: Pageantry, Revelry, Crafts and Romance
City: Hollister view all details >>
The Science of Pickling Workshop
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  The Science of Pickling Workshop
Santa Cruz County Parks
Date: 09/29/2018 from 10:00am to 12:30pm
Ages: all
Details: Learn the science of how to ensure that you're preserving your food safely and what and why a few additions make your pickles cr
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 454-7946 view all details >>
Dress Rehearsals
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  Dress Rehearsals
view all details >>
National Voter Registration Day
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  National Voter Registration Day
SC County Elections Department
Date: 09/25/2018 from 10:00am to 7:00pm
Ages: 18+
Details: National Voter Registration Day
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
Open House 2019
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  Open House 2019
State Park Castro Adobe
Date: Every Su and Sa (Jan 6-Dec 29) from 11:00am to 3:00pm
Details: "Thanks for the Memories" is a chance for history buffs, locals and Castro family descendants to visit
Special Instructions: Old Adobe Road, off of Larkin Valley Road
City: Watsonville Phone: 831-335-6318 view all details >>
Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour
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  Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour
UCSC Recreation
Date: Every day (Feb 21-Feb 24) from 7:00pm to 9:30pm
Details: Ignite your passion for adventure, action & travel!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Elkhorn Slough Open House
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  Elkhorn Slough Open House
Elkhorn Slough
Date: 09/22/2018 from 9:30am to 4:00pm
Details: Great introduction to the Reserve
City: Watsonville Phone: (831) 728-2822 view all details >>
Capitola Beach Festival
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  Capitola Beach Festival
Capitola Beach Festival
Date: Every day (Sep 29-Sep 30)
Details: 5k Fun Run, Horseshoe Tournament, Lighted Nautical Parade, Fishing Derby, Sand Sculpture Contest, Chalk Art Event, Rowboat Races
City: Capitola view all details >>
  Practical Love continued

1. All learning, all development of new skills and capacities, at any age, is based on the will. What is the will but that inner force that moves us, consciously or not, toward goals? We all have a will nature, but in the young child we see a being who is primarily will oriented. Their thinking life is not awake yet.

2. The principle by which the young child learns is imitation. All "teaching' for young children needs to be based on the principle of example and imitation.

3. The neurology of the young child is very different than that of an adult. If we look to the pre-frontal cortex, the home of all "executive functioning," we see that it is still developing into the late 20's of one's life. In the young child it is merely a seed!

4. The experience of self that we, as adults, take for granted, is also just in seed form and is little developed in the young child.

These 4 principles must inform all that we do in relation to young child. To me, that is how we make love practical. Love is not a power that requires another to obey. "Spare the rod, spoil the child," is not effective. And it teaches the child to use force to get what he wants. (Remember the principle of imitation?)

Equally ineffective is a sentimental loving that engages the young child in decision-making, and ends up putting the child in charge. 

Practical love says to listen to the needs of the child. Listen through hearing what he wants, into his core of true need. Try, "It looks like you had fun visiting that kindergarten,"  instead of, "Honey, which kindergarten school do you want to attend?" Or, "Are you ready to move into kindergarten and out of pre-school.?" Or, "Should we put our extra money into savings or splurge on a big trip?" 

Observe your child, listen to what he says without asking a lot of questions. Then as best you can, intuit what to do. 

Sometimes the children may not be happy with our decisions that affect them. Sometimes life dishes up challenges for adults too. Resilience is developed by moving through moments of not getting what is wanted, and by moving through sadness and even anger. Many of us parents and teachers want the children to be happy all the time. So we do whatever is necessary to get them to that happy place. Perhaps the adults think - "if the child is not happy, he won't like me anymore.'

This is not a practical way to live life for an adult. This is not practical love of an adult for the young child.

Please consider these principles, and see if you can incorporate them into your life with young children. This is a path of practical love. Not sentimental not superficial. This is deep love that leads to actions based on insight. 

Think about it. Consider if you want to make these thoughts guide your actions. 

Let me know what you think.

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