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New Leaf Community Markets - Everything for Healthful Living!
  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

October 25, 2012

Independent School Fair
Bullying: help, my child is the bully!
opal cliffs
A Different Perspective:
Springhill
An Interview with Our Newest Local Author, Suki Wessling
This Week
Marine Masquerade
Interview with Suki continued...
Click to view our Business Directory
 

(Holidays) Halloween_HappyHalloweenScene.jpgHalloween is upon us and this year October 31st lands on a Wednesday, not ideal for the little ones, but there are events on the weekend too, so parents have lots of choices.  Click here for all the events.

It's painful when your child experiences bullying.  It may be even more painful when you find out your own child is acting like a bully.  One of my friends has a child who has been tagged as engaging in bullying behavior.  She told me that at first when the school called her she felt defensive, embarrassed and wanted to say to her daughter, "What's the matter with you?  Why are you doing this? Can't you be nice?"  However she got a grip on herself and sought professional help.  We asked some local experts to share their experiences on how to help when its your child who is behaving like a bully. 

Suki's first book is out, so we seized the opportunity to find out what it's like to be a mom who just wrote a book, or should we say a writer who is a mom.  This book chronicles her family's journey into homeschooling.  No matter where your children are in their schooling you will find this a well written, informative and entertaining read!

It's that time of year, open houses and parent/teacher conferences at our children's schools.  If you're looking, for now or 2013, the Independent School Fair is a great way to explore, chat and compare.  We all want the best learning environment for our children. As adults we tend to think in terms of "semesters", "quarters", fall back-to-school time frames.  In children's worlds time has more of a "now" quality. Now I'm learning, challenged and happy or now I'm frustrated, not doing well and need a different approach or teacher or school. Tune in carefully to what's happening, or not, for your children. 

Happy Trick or Treating, Parmalee

  Independent School Fair

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  Bullying: help, my child is the bully!

(Photos General) AnnaDasbach.jpg

by Anna Dasbach, LFMC

How do we as parents respond when we are called to meet with our child's teacher or principle to find out that our child has been bullying other children at school?

Before reacting and defending our child or thinking of ways to discipline her/him it is best to first take a deep breath and stay centered and calm. Checking in with yourself: what is your own feeling and reaction in regards to bullying? What were your own experiences as a child and how/if have you coped or how was it handled when you were a bully or bullied?

We are at our best in helping and supporting our children if we don't react from our past experiences but can stay in our adult self and look at the issues presented from a calm and centered place, because we have taken the time to process our own past experiences and feelings attached to them.

Before reacting it might also be helpful to know that bullying doesn't happen out of context and is oftentimes not a single occurrence:

According to the 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) nationwide, 20% of students in grades 9-12 have experienced bullying.

The 2008-2009 School Crime Supplement (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics) indicates that, nationwide, 28% of students in grades 6-12 have experienced bullying.

When talking to the teacher or principle find out...Read the rest of the article>>>>>

Anna Dasbach, is a licensed Family and Marriage Counselor in Private Practice in Santa Cruz where she sees children, adolescents, couples and adults. She was first an educator, with extensive training in Waldorf and Montessori Education. She has held a class on relational aggression and bullying for fourth graders and is currently coaching her daughter's elementary school volleyball team.  She can be reached at annadas@balancedfamily-therapy.com

  opal cliffs

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  A Different Perspective:

Prevent grade school bullying by finding out what's going on with the "bullies"

by Carolyn Farrell, MFT

(Photos General) CarolynFarrellMA_SantaCruzParent.jpgIt's Tuesday evening and the kids are in bed. You're settled on the sofa anticipating falling asleep in front of some escapist TV. The phone rings and it's your child's teacher. You sit up straight and your jaw drops. What? My child was involved in an incident of bullying? My kid was the bully?


No parent wants to get that call, but many do. Some estimate "bullying" incidents happen to at least half of all children between 4th and 7th grade. There is a plethora of information and instruction for children and their parents on how to avoid being the victim of a bully, as there should be, but very little seems to be written on the real source of the issue. How do we address and eliminate bullying behavior? First, I think it is necessary to rethink how we talk about the issue. Labeling our children "bullies" and "victims" tends to set up an "us against them" dynamic that fails to recognize that both are simply children that need help.


I have been working with children and parents as a school counselor, substitute teacher and as a licensed marriage and family therapist for many years, and I would like to offer some tips for the parents, grandparents or caretakers who get that call from the teacher.  Read my tips>>>>

Carolyn Farrell, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist and art therapist with a private practice in Felton. Among her specialties is a focus on children using art and play therapy to resolve emotional and behavioral issues. While working with children she offers parenting support and directive counseling for parents. To find out more about Carolyn call please call 831-325-6647 and visit her website arttherapycounseling.com

  Springhill

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  An Interview with Our Newest Local Author, Suki Wessling

(Books/Products) Book_FromSchooltoHomeschool.jpgSuki's first book is out, so we seized the opportunity to find out what it's like to be a mom who just wrote a book, or should we say a writer who is a mom.  This book chronicles her family's journey into homeschooling.  No matter where your children are in their schooling you will find this a well written, informative and entertaining read!

Why do you write?
I write for a variety of reasons. Probably the main reason is that writing is how I process what's going on around me. I feel like I never really know what I think about something until I write it down. In fact, I often have conversations where later I wish I could go back and edit the conversation. The reason I started writing about homeschooling and giftedness was to share the things that I was learning with a larger audience. I felt like there was all this information available... once I knew where to find it. But I only found it because I was searching. A good number of parents and educators really don't understand giftedness (though they often think they do), and in the midst of a very difficult time in their lives, parents get a lot of really bad advice. I sometimes write an article imagining that it would be used by someone in a difficult situation, like a parent who needs to explain something to their child's teacher or a parent who need help to resist a misdiagnosis.

(Photos General) Suki_Kindergarten.jpgWhen did you start writing?
I can't remember a time when I didn't like to write, though I trace my actual writing career to third grade, when I wrote an post-apocalyptic novel on purple notebook paper! I pretty much knew I wanted to be a writer, so I made an early decision NOT to do too much literary analysis. I got degrees in Linguistics and Creative Writing while managing never to take a literary analysis class. That was during the time when Derrida and post-modernism was all the rage, and I took offense at being told that authors had no say in what their writing meant! Through my various changes in life circumstances-from being a student to working in the high tech industry to teaching English and writing to graphic design and publishing and then finally to being a mom and a homeschooler-my writing has reflected what I have been doing at the time. When I first started my blog, I wrote a lament about how poetry no longer seemed to fit my life. I couldn't even think about poetry when changing a dirty diaper! But the fun thing is that writing is a profession that can change with your life. 
Read more: scroll down to the end of this newsletter! >>>>

  This Week

(Ads) SantaCruzParentFacebook.jpg(BUILT IN) (Icons/Graphics) Text_Calendar.jpgBelow is only a partial list

of upcoming events and activities.

Click on our EVENT CALENDAR.

Submit your event!


Check the Events Calendar for More Fun!

 

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School Corner

 

The Tech Challenge, Will Your school enter?

 

Mount Madonna PreK-12, Campus Tour Day 10/24

 

Waldorf School, Halloween Enchantment 10/31


Chartwell Open House 11/3


The New High School Project Open House 11/6


Gateway School K-8 Open House 11/12


Central Coast Independent School Fair PreK-12, 11/13


Community Workshop: Neuropsychological Model & Cognitive Diversity 11/14

 

Mount Madonna Open House 11/17

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TEEN COOKING CLASS

Chef Lauren Hoover-West will give a hands-on cooking class geared to teenagers 13 - 18.

 

October 28  Halloween Treats: low glycemic index and spookylicious!

 

Preregistration required.

 www.newleaf.com

or call 831-466-9060

ext 126.

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Fall  &

Halloween Events

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(Photos General) SukiRedHead_138.jpgSwing Math

In the typical learning pattern for math concepts, kids first get the fundamentals of numbers-counting, adding, subtracting, sequencing, etc.-then they learn multiplying and dividing. Usually around the third grade, they are ready to memorize the basic 1-12 multiplication table.

 

My daughter was different. She was very interested in numbers from a young age and mastered most of the concepts that would be taught in K-2 with no problem. But she was much more interested in what people consider "advanced" math: she loved learning about tesseracts, pi, and the Sieve of Eratosthenes. As a kindergartener, she made us a googol dollar note. Then third grade came around, and I thought maybe she would be ready to start memorizing the multiplication table.

 

It was then that I found out that my daughter was different, but not unique, in her learning pattern...

 

Read more to find the solution!>>>>

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 Maybe it isn't all in the Genes

Science with Christine

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People who study people (both physical stuff and behavior) have the question "Nature or Nuture?" They are asking if physical stuff and behaviors are inherited or learned. Now we add something. It turns out that something can be learned, and then inherited. What!!!

This is called "epigenetics."

How your genes work can be influenced by your environment. If you are stressed, some genes turn on. If your stress goes away, other genes can turn on. These traits can be passed on to future generations.

Read more!>>>>

(Special Event Images / Graphics) HalloweenDogs4ghosts.jpg

 Marine Masquerade

(Holidays) Halloween_LittleCrab_SantaCruzParent.jpgMarine Masquerade
Friday, October 26, 6-8:30 PM


Friday, October 26, 6-8:30 PM Kids, bring your parents and join us at the Seymour Center for a night of scavenger hunts, creature crafts, flashlight tours to our whale skeleton, scary stories, and more! Join the Seymour Center for a nautical Halloween family adventure for the kids of all ages; even the grown-up kind.

Regular admission applies to the general public (members receive discounted admission as follows: adults $4, kids $3).

Seymour Marine Discovery Center, 100 Shaffer Rd., Santa Cruz Map
Phone: (831) 459-3800 •website Sponsored by David Morrell – Coldwell Banker

Friday the 13th Flashlight Tours
click to view website
  Friday the 13th Flashlight Tours
Winchester Mystery House
Date: The 13th of every month from 6:30pm to 10:30pm
Ages: Teens and up
Details: Tour the rambling, mysterious mansion at night with only the moonlight, a souvenir flashlight, and your imagination
Special Instructions: 13TH OF THE MONTH IF IT'S A FRIDAY!
City: San Jose Phone: (408) 247-2101 view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
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  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
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Bully!  My Child!?
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  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
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Bully!  My Child!?
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  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
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Bully!  My Child!?
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  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
click to view website
  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
Scotts Valley Haunted House
click to view website
  Scotts Valley Haunted House
Scotts Valley High School
Date: Every day (Oct 27-Oct 29) from 6:30pm to 10:30pm
Ages: 10 and up
Details: Quite scary haunted house put on by students for ages 10+
City: Scotts Valley Phone: 831.439-9555 view all details >>
     
Children's Ghost Train
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  Children's Ghost Train
Roaring Camp Railroads
Date: Every day (Oct 24-Oct 25)
Ages: All
Details: This is a family Halloween event! Suitable for children!
Special Instructions: Reservations required
City: Felton Phone: (831)335-4484 view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
click to view website
  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
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Bully!  My Child!?
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  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
Boo at the Zoo
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  Boo at the Zoo
San Francisco Zoo
Date: Every day (Oct 29-Oct 30) from 11:00am to 4:00pm
Details: Make plans to join us for a "not-too-spooky" Halloween family festival where you can trick-or-treat around the Zoo and see the
City: San Francisco view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
click to view website
  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
click to view website
  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
click to view website
  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
Bully!  My Child!?
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  Bully! My Child!?
Date:
view all details >>
     
     
  Interview with Suki continued...

How do you find time to write with a family and homeschooling?
Ah, there's the question. I remember a day when I was sitting at my daughter's class at Santa Cruz Gymnastics working on my computer. I was writing intently, but then I sensed by the change in sounds that the class was ending so I looked up. Apparently it was like someone coming up out of a pool-the mom next to me said, "I have never seen anyone so focused!" I think I developed that focus out of necessity. Over the span of a week, I probably have more 10-20 minute chunks of time than any one solid hour. When I need longer periods of time, I have always made sure to set up some way of getting the time I needed. When my kids were smaller I sent them to my mom's house or hired a babysitter. As they got older I could set up play and homeschooling exchanges. These days they can be self-directed for longer periods of time. But the reality is that I get most of my work done during evenings and weekends, which makes it a bit hard to contact people who work 9 to 5.

What advice would you give to someone who feels an itch to write but doesn't know where to begin?

(Photos General) SukiRedHead_138.jpgModern technology has made such a difference. In the pre-Internet days, you had to develop as a writer without having an audience, which was very hard. Finding a writing group was of great importance at that point, and it can still be a really great way to get started. But a writing group in person can sometimes be hard to set up, and then you have personality stuff-I have to say I got sick of all the interpersonal politics long ago, though I still recommend that beginning writers join a group because that experience can be very important. On top of that, before the Internet if you wanted people you didn't know to read your work, you had to get a publisher to publish you. This was the heyday of cheap 'zines-it was so hard to get something published in a widely distributed magazine that there were tons of little publications. The Internet has changed everything: First of all, you can find endless amounts and types of writing groups, from intimate groups that work by e-mail or in chat rooms to huge forum groups where any passing stranger can comment on your work. Secondly, the 'zines have moved to a cheaper and more widely accessible venue-onto the Web. So there are more places to get published, though you don't get the satisfaction of seeing your name "in print." Finally, I think that every single beginning writer needs to start a blog. The cool thing is, even if you don't tell anyone you know about it, you have this place where your work is being displayed and anyone can see it. It's really very wonderful to be able to practice your craft this way. And if you start getting your friends and their friends to read and comment, you can start seeing how people react to your work, what's successful, what's not.

How do you write? Techincally... Did you picture the entire book or Did you just start?
Did you make an outline? Did you follow it? Or ?

I write differently depending on what it is. This book actually started as a workshop that I gave at the Homeschool Association of California conference in Sacramento. The workshop was called "Taking your gifted learner out of school" and was aimed at new homeschoolers of gifted learners. After I did the workshop, I realized that none of the books I'd read quite got at the subject as I'd like. So I queried James Webb, who is the publisher at Great Potential Press and whom I'd met a few times. I was actually just asking his advice, but his response cc'ed their acquisitions editor and said, "That sounds like a great idea-please send some chapters." Well, I didn't have any chapters! So I just started writing and feeding them chapters as I went. For this book, the writing went very quickly. Much of it was subject matter that I'd written about before, though never all in one place and connected together. Great Potential has a really excellent editorial process: first the acquisitions editor works with you on content, making sure you go over all the material that's needed and making suggestions. I was so gratified that she kept saying, "More, more!' I feared they'd want me to cut it down to the bone, though I'd written a really lean text. Then they have a professional copy editor who goes over the manuscript very carefully with the author. I actually enjoyed this, as well, as I really like the process of editing and have done it for my own press.


Where do you write? [home office, car, dentist, soccer games...]

Everywhere! I am very mobile-I haul my laptop with me anytime I think I'll have time to work. I do have an office in my house that is all mine (or at least the half of it that IS mine-the other half is my husband's).

Do you carry a notebook with you always for those times when an idea, phrase, sentence crystallizes?
I used to always carry a notebook. Then I got a smartphone and the notebook was history.

When is your best time for writing?

If I could choose, it would be right after my morning walk, which is the only time in the day when I am guaranteed solitude and time to think. I often come home with ideas and sometimes I get around to scribbling them down before someone needs something from me. The blessing and curse of the mother is always being needed!

What would you like to write about next?
I have tons of ideas-books, stories, articles-but the question is which one will catch me to the point that I really start to work on it.

Is there any fiction in mind?

I have three children's books in progress. The way I work, I pick away at a few things until one day, for no special reason, I get fired up about one of them and then I really work on it exclusively. We'll see which one gets my attention next!


One more... what do your family members say about your book!?

My kids haven't read it - it would probably bore them, anyway! No one else in my family is a homeschooler, so I wouldn't expect them to be too interested, except for the fact that I wrote it. But you never know. I think everyone is happy that I got it published and they've been very supportive.

Thanks Suki!

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