CLICK TO VIEW NEWSLETTER
This newsletter is best viewed in HTML or you can view on our website:
http://newsletters.santacruzparent.com/Newsletters/view/October22014,471.html
Please add info@santacruzparent.com to your safe-senders list to ensure your newsletters do not get caught by email filters.

  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

October 2, 2014
Labels Require Vigilance

Steve introduces Rick Hanson: Grow Inner Strengths

Ask Nicole: Setting limits for my child
Suki: The Comfortable Closets We Live In
This Week
Open Studios
Setting Limits for My Child ... continued
Click to view our Business Directory
  Labels Require Vigilance

(Photos General) Label.jpgI was looking for bread made with spelt (no wheat) and found it in the freezer section. "Old Fashioned Sourdough Spelt Bread".  The label said "no preservatives, no additives, chemical free."  That's a positive.  It listed the ingredients as "freshly stone ground ancient whole grain spelt flour (wheat), filtered water, sea salt".  Oh, oh!  Wheat!?  That I'm trying to avoid. 

But wait, there was one more line: "This is NOT a blended Spelt & Wheat product.  The word (wheat) on the ingredient label is listed SOLELY to meet the FDA allergen labeling laws.  This is an Ancient Heirloom Spelt Product."  Phew!! I took it home, hoping it would taste at least nearly as good as the "real" sourdough bread that I have enjoyed so much, but is no longer part of my evolving, conscious food plan.  Oh joy, it toasted up nicely and had a "dense, hearty, sustaining and amazingly delicious bite!" 

On the front of the jar it said PEANUT BUTTER.  Of course in very tiny print, the primary ingredient was peanuts and I was glad to purchase it because it had NO ADDED SUGAR.  Additionally in LARGE PRINT BELOW the ingredients it said: WARNING: THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS PEANUTS.  I found that amusing.

From a Lara Kilpatrick at Mount Madonna School came a note: "Hi Parmalee, Did you see this Washington Post article on the topic of homework?  SO many sides to this conversation!"

What if you send your child off to school and he has a devastating experience the first day, but you don't learn about it until many years later? That happened to a friend and it has colored his life for years. Steve has brought to us a timely article on Developing Inner Strength by Rick Hanson.

October is firming up with lots of fun and often free events!  Thank you for your interest in our newsletter, and please, drop us a line anytime!

Have a great weekend, Parmalee

 

(Ads 2014) Gateway_October2and9_2014.jpg

  Steve introduces Rick Hanson: Grow Inner Strengths

(Photos General) SteveSpitalny.jpgHaving the resilience, the inner strength to meet challenges that arise in your life is a useful and even essential quality for everyone, perhaps especially for parents and teachers. Thanks to Rick Hanson for permission to re-use this post (you can learn more about Rick at the end of his article) who offers some tips on creating a wellspring of inner strength. Rick has a vast array of articles on his website and this one originally was published September 2013.

Having the resilience, the inner strength to meet challenges that arise in your life is a useful and even essential quality for everyone, perhaps especially for parents and teachers. Thanks to Rick Hanson for permission to re-use this post (you can learn more about Rick at the end of his article) who offers some tips on creating a wellspring of inner strength. Rick has a vast array of articles on his website and this one originally was published September 2013.

GROW INNER STRENGTHS
by Rick Hanson

What would make a difference inside you?
The Practice: Grow Inner Strengths. Why?


I've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include a positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination, and a warm heart. Researchers have identified other strengths as well, such as self-compassion, secure attachment, emotional intelligence, learned optimism, the relaxation response, self-esteem, distress tolerance, self-regulation, resilience, and executive functions.


I'm using the word strength broadly to include positive feelings such as calm, contentment, and caring, as well as skills, useful perspectives and inclinations, and embodied qualities such as vitality or relaxation. Unlike fleeting mental states, inner strengths are stable traits, an enduring source of well-being, wise and effective action, and contributions to others.


The idea of inner strengths might seem abstract at first. Let's bring it down to earth with some concrete examples. The alarm goes off and you'd rather snooze-so you find the will to get up. Let's say you have kids and they're squabbling and it's frustrating-so instead of yelling, you get in touch with that place inside that's firm but not angry. You're embarrassed about making a mistake at work-so you call up a sense of worth from past accomplishments. You get stressed racing around-so you find some welcome calm in several long exhalations. You feel sad about not having a partner-so you find some comfort in thinking about the friends you do have. Throughout your day, other inner strengths are operating automatically in the back of your mind, such as a sense of perspective, faith, or self-awareness.

A well-known idea in medicine and psychology is that how you feel and act - both over the course of your life and in specific relationships and situations-is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities. For example, the challenge of a critical boss would be intensified by a person's vulnerability to anxiety, but he or she could cope by calling on inner strengths of self-soothing and feeling respected by others.

We all have vulnerabilities. Personally, I wish it were not so easy for me to become worried and self-critical. And life has no end of challenges, from minor hassles like dropped cell phone calls to old age, disease, and death. You need strengths to deal with challenges and vulnerabilities, and as either or both of these grow, so must your strengths to match them. If you want to feel less stressed, anxious, frustrated, irritable, depressed, disappointed, lonely, guilty, hurt, or inadequate, having more inner strengths will help you.   Read the rest>>>>>

 

(Ads 2014) ArtFactory_Sewing2SCparent2014_Sept.jpg

  Ask Nicole: Setting limits for my child

As parents, we love our children and want to give them the world. Balancing the desire to fulfill our children's wishes with setting clear limits can be difficult, though. At times, finding that balance can be like Goldilocks trying each of the Three Bears' beds - that rule is too hard, that limit is too soft, this one feels just right.  

This month we'll talk about setting limits that feel fair to both parents and kids. I'll focus on tips for helping parents set limits that feel appropriate for their families, based on the world-renowned Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org.

Dear Nicole,

I'm a father to two boys, ages 5 and 8. I try to be consistent with the rules and expectations for my sons, but lately I feel like I may be too strict of a parent. My boys tell me their friends get treats in their lunches, go to bed late, have sleepovers on weeknights and get to play video games whenever they want. My oldest even says he has friends who have their own TVs in their bedrooms! While I think my kids may be exaggerating a bit, other parents I talk to have more lax rules. Are mine unreasonable?

Read Nicole's answer>>>>>>

  Suki: The Comfortable Closets We Live In

(Photos General) SukiWessling2013.jpg

Sometimes advocating for something you believe in can mean stepping out of a very comfortable closet that you've spent much of your life in. In my case, I was so comfortable, I didn't even notice that I'd locked myself in the closet till I had children. My particular closet is the one that we hide in when we're afraid of pointing out our own differences from the norm. It's a very, very comfortable closet, but usually a solitary one.

Since the sixties, however, understanding has been growing that people sometimes need to seek others who share some aspect of their life experiences in order to learn more about themselves.

Here I am in paragraph three, and I'm still enjoying the comfort of my closet, so I guess I should just out with it!....continued>>>>

  This Week

(Holidays) Halloween_MagicalGlassPumpkinPatch.jpg

Events in the Parks

(BUILT IN) (Icons/Graphics) Text_Calendar.jpg
 

(Graphics) SchoolOpenHouse.jpg

School Corner

Santa Cruz Waldorf PreK-8, Early Childhood Education Class

 

SSCDC Preschool Open Houses Tuesdays & Wednesdays

 

Chartwell School K-12, Off to College Workshop 10/8

 

Ecology Action, Bike to Work/School Day 10/22

 

SC Waldorf K-8, Waldorf Alive! 10/15

 

Gateway School K-8, Open House 10/15

 

American Geosciences Institute, Earth Science Week Contests 10/12-18

 

Mount Madonna PreK-12, Art & Play in Pre & K

 

LitWits Master Classes High School, The Hound of the Baskervilles Class 10/17+ 24

 

SC Montessori Preschool - 8, Primary School Open House 10/19

 

Mount Madonna, Campus Tour Day 10/22

 

Santa Cruz Montessori Pre-8, Lecture: Steven Hughes 10/22

 

Monte Vista Christian School 5-12, Open House & Curriculum Fair 10/26

 

Tara Redwood School Pre-5, Call for a Tour

 

CLUBS FOR KIDS!

 

(Ads 2014) MakersFactory_fall2014.jpg

(Ads 2014) Seahorse-FreeSwimLessons.jpg

 

Pre-K Mornings

at

The Art Factory

 

3 Hour Pre-K Art Class

in a small, charming
cottage setting

Weds or Thurs 9am-12noon

Indoor/Outdoor, Play,
Explore, Stories
and Lots of Art!

 

 (Photos General) ArtFactory_Pre-K_Photo.jpg

 

artfactorystudios.com

831-688-8862

Parenting is "thrilling, exhausting, hilarious, fun, frustrating, rewarding.... and requires constant vigilance..."

(Photos General) Parenting_WalkingTogether.jpg

Tune up Your Parenting Skills


Workshops for  Parents with Babies to Teens

(Photos General) Dog_LabwithBird.jpg

 Open Studios

Open Studios


Cultural Council of Santa Cruz County
The Cultural Council's Open Studios Art Tour brings artists and art enthusiasts together--from the redwoods to the sea
Date: Every Su and Sa (Oct 4-Oct 19) from 11:00am to 5:00pm

The Open Studios Art Tour is a self-guided tour with 300 studios open throughout Santa Cruz County. Art Tour information is available through the 15-month Artist Guide/Calendar, a Preview Exhibit at the Santa Cruz Art League, and on our website

The museum-quality, 15-month Artist Guide/Calendar, available for $20 at more than 50 locations in Santa Cruz County, includes a map of Open Studios Locations and contact information for each artist. Calendar sales benefit local arts and arts learning programs.

The Cultural Council's Open Studios Art Tour brings artists and art enthusiasts together--from the redwoods to the sea--in a celebration of the creative spirit. Welcome to the ultimate art adventure!

 First three weekends in October

South County - October 4th & 5th

North County - October 11th & 12th

Encore Weekend - October 18th & 19th

Guide and App available in September

We launched the Open Studios Art Tour in 1986 to connect artists directly with art lovers. Our program has become a model for art tours across the country. The self-guided tour gives 300+ artists across Santa Cruz County a chance to welcome art admirers and buyers into their studios. One of the most popular annual events in the county, the Open Studios Art Tour welcomes thousands of locals and visitors who come from all over to see the creative process at work and experience first-hand the artistic diversity of our community.

website

Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Arboretum Garden Free Day
click to view website
  Arboretum Garden Free Day
Arboretum at UC Santa Cruz
Date: The 1st Sa of every month at 11:00am
Details: A tranquil place to see plants from around the world plus quail, bunnies...
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831.427.2998 view all details >>
     
Young Eagles - Kids Fly Free
click to view website
  Young Eagles - Kids Fly Free
Young Eagles
Date: The 2nd Sa of every month from 8:00am to 4:00pm
Ages: 8 yrs - 17 yrs
Details: Kds fly free EAA airplane rides, on the first Saturday of every month between January and April and then again between September
City: Watsonville Phone: 831-531-8440 view all details >>
     
History and Ecology of the San Lorenzo Lagoon
click to view website
  History and Ecology of the San Lorenzo Lagoon
City of Santa Cruz
Date: 05/21/2016 at 9:30am
Details: tate of the San Lorenzo River Symposium: History and Ecology of
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Tools of the Treasure Hunt Orienteering & Mapping for Kids
click to view website
  Tools of the Treasure Hunt Orienteering & Mapping for Kids
Santa Cruz County Parks
Date: 10/05/2014 from 2:00pm to 4:00pm
Ages: 6 & up
Details: Learn to use a compass and find treasure
City: Felton Phone: (831) 335-9348 view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Labels Require Vigilance!
click to view website
  Labels Require Vigilance!
Date:
view all details >>
     
     
  Setting Limits for My Child ... continued

Dear Derek,

A big part of parenting involves setting limits for children, and it sounds like you're doing a good job. While establishing rules can be challenging and may make you (briefly) unpopular with your sons, all children need guidance about what is expected of them. Creating boundaries for your boys helps protect them and keeps them physically and emotionally healthy. The constant challenge for parents is to set limits that are reasonable and fair for both the parents and children.

Here are some tips:

Involve your children in discussing the family rules.

When children are younger, the responsibility for setting family rules falls primarily on the parent. As children get older, it can be helpful to involve them in the discussion so they understand the reasons for the limits and can share their ideas about what is fair and reasonable. There may also be times when you have different rules or limits for your children, such as a later bedtime for your older child, or fewer chores for your younger child. Involving them in the discussion can help them understand that rules can be different for each of them and still be fair.

Start with a few simple family rules or limits.

Rules or limits are most effective when there are a few of them, they are simple, and they focus on what you want your children to do (versus not do). This makes it easier for both you and your children to remember the limits, which increases their chances of success in following them. For example, instead of saying "No sleepovers on weeknights," try saying, "Friends can sleep over on weekends." 

Decide what limits can be flexible.

Some families have rules or limits that are non-negotiable, based on their values about promoting their children's health, safety, etc. Oftentimes, families also identify rules or limits that are more flexible. You might decide that certain limits are non-negotiable in your family, such as "Finish homework before watching TV," or "Sweet treats can only be eaten at one meal per day." As you set firm limits, you might also consider whether certain rules can be more flexible, such as "Eat healthy foods for lunch every day, then pick a treat for lunch on Friday." This gives your children something to look forward to while still teaching them to respect the limits you have set.

Continue to talk with other parents and adults you trust.

As your children get older, the need for and types of rules or limits you have will change. It's great to talk with other parents - it helps you let your children know that different families can have different rules. It can also help you decide when and how to modify your family rules as each child gets older. You might also find it helpful to talk to a pediatrician, a pastor, teacher, other friends or family members whose children have already grown up. You are likely to get a range of opinions about what's considered fair, reasonable and age-appropriate for your children. If it starts to get overwhelming, just think of it as gathering information to help you decide what feels right for your family.

Setting (and sticking to) limits can be one of the hardest - and most important - parts of parenting. Establishing reasonable rules and teaching children to follow them will help keep them safe and healthy in the long run. Although they may not appreciate it now, they will thank you someday...when they are raising their own children. 

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 10 and 14, who also manages Santa Cruz County's Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, the world's leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. For more information, including classes and one-on-one meetings to help parents handle everyday parenting challenges, visit http://triplep.first5scc.org, www.facebook.com/triplepscc or www.youtube.com/triplepsantacruzco. To find a Triple P class or practitioner, contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org

business directory | blogs | classifieds | contests | editor updates | families giving back
newsletter archives | parent chat | parent planner | parent perks | contact us
Stay Connected: Blogs Blogs | RSS RSS

You received this e-mail because you have signed up for our e-mail newsletters from our website.
If you received this message in error or you want to be removed from this exclusive mailing list just visit
the following link and follow the instructions. CLICK TO UNSUBSCRIBE
info@santacruzparent.com | Santa Cruz, CA