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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

October 11, 2018

Parents are talking....

Raising Boys

Ted Talks to Watch with Our Sons and Daughters

Raising Girls

Fun Events!
Click to view our Business Directory

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  Parents are talking....

Parents are asking, "How and what do I teach my boys to be safe?" and "How and what do I teach my girls to be safe?"

(0 A October 2018) GoldenRulePractice.jpgThe current swirl of clashing ideas has spurred thinking and conversations about how to bring up our children so that in their encounters outside the family, and during their years with us, they become respectful, responsible, caring, curious adults who make wise choices. Unfortunately we must also consider how and what to teach them about keeping themselves safe in all social situations and at all ages. How we accomplish this will vary among families. That these conversations are taking place is good! Talk, and do!!

I typed into the search bar: "tweens, teens and parties" and up came 59 million results.  After reading a few articles I came to the conclusion that temptations are so pervasive that parents had better lay a strong foundation in the early years in order to help our children handle well the tween and teen years. Think ahead to situations our children may encounter as they seek more and more independence from us. Get clear now with you goals and plan.

(0 A October 2018) GoldenRule.jpgThis fractious climate also causes us to examine our own opinions. Let's all strive to listen, listen, listen; to answer our children's questions thoughtfully and to guide them to live by "the golden rule."

Have a great weekend --a nice mix of getting out and family downtime-- with the family. Parmalee


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  Raising Boys

You may agree or not agree with the ideas expressed in these articles, but very likely you will find some of the ideas useful and worth incorporating into your parenting values.

How to Raise a Good Man

This was written in 2011, well before the recent brouha. What do you think?

By Laura Flynn McCarthy, a freelance writer who lives in New Hampshire. Her work has appeared in Parenting, Working Mother and other magazines.

The instant you looked into your newborn son's eyes you knew that every hope you had for his future rested on what you did from that moment on. Would you be able to help him grow into a caring, confident, responsible man? Every mother questions how she's doing when it comes to raising her boy. But if you follow the advice below, chances are, your son will turn into the kind of man you want him to be. Read about Laura's goals and her suggestions about how to get there on a daily level >>>>  


7 Principles for Raising Boys

by Dr. James Dobson

As a mother of boys, you already recognize their innate differences from your daughters. But what do you do with these differences? How do you uniquely parent your boys so they become responsible, mature men? According to Dr. James Dobson, author of Bringing Up Boys, your role is "to transform [your] boys from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, and secure in their masculinity." Here are Dr. Dobson's Seven Principles for Raising Sons:

(0 A October 2018) BoysInTrees_LittleGardenPatchFarm22.jpg1. Channel Their Energy.  Understand that your boys will have more aggressive and excitable behavior than your girls. Instead of trying to squelch their energy, channel it into something productive.

2. Protect Their Spirit.  Understand that there are many harmful things in this world which can wound your boys' spirit. Dobson advises, "deal decisively with bullies, reduce exposure to media violence, and watch for signs of depression, withdrawal or lethargy."

3. Keep Them Close. Maintain close relationships with your sons. Keep communication open, provide guidance, and discipline out of love.

4. Provide Them with Role Models. Provide your sons with healthy male role models. If their father is not in the home, consider a trustworthy family member or friend to spend time with them.

5. Give Them Your Time. Give your sons plenty of your one-on-one time. You may need to make changes in your own schedule, but give your sons both quality and quantity time. You may need to make changes in your own schedule, but give your sons both quality and quantity time.

6. Affirm Their Value.  Dobson advises, "Counteract the effects of male-bashing in our culture by affirming a boy's masculinity and his value as a person."

7. Nurture Their Spirituality. Make your sons' spiritual development your first priority in parenting by helping them develop their relationship with God.

This article is based on the book, Bringing Up Boys, by Dr. James Dobson.

Image: Boys in A Tree at Little Garden Patch Farm


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  Ted Talks to Watch with Our Sons and Daughters

(0 A October 2018) Letters-to-our-sons.jpgTed Talks: Letters to our sons

  1.  Colin Stokes   How movies teach manhood
  2. Shane Koyczan  To This Day ... for the bullied and beautiful
  3. Clint Smith  How to raise a black son in America
  4. Ali Carr-Chellman   Gaming to re-engage boys in learning
  5. Lee Mokobe  A powerful poem about what it feels like to be transgender
  6. Tony Porter   A call to men

  1. Sarah Kay  If I should have a daughter ...
  2. Ziauddin Yousafzai  My daughter, Malala
  3. Steven Addis   A father-daughter bond, one photo at a time
  4. Chinaka Hodge  What will you tell your daughters about 2016?
  5. Christopher Bell   Bring on the female superheroes!
  6. Caroline Paul   To raise brave girls, encourage adventure
  7. Lee Mokobe  A powerful poem about what it feels like to be transgender
  8.  Peggy Orenstein  What young women believe about their own sexual pleasure


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  Raising Girls

(0 A October 2018) Book_StrongFathers.jpgStrong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know

by Meg Meeker

It's often difficult for parents to connect with their daughters-and especially so for fathers. In this unique and invaluable guide, Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician with more than twenty years' experience counseling girls, reveals that a young woman's relationship with her father is far more important than we've ever realized. To become a strong, confident woman, a daughter needs her father's attention, protection, courage, and wisdom. Dr. Meeker shares the ten secrets every father needs to know in order to strengthen or rebuild bonds with his daughter and shape her life-and his own-for the better. Inside you'll discover:

  • the essential virtues of strong fathers-and how to develop them
  • the cues daughters take from their dads on everything from self-respect to drugs, alcohol, and sex
  • the truth about ground rules (girls do want them, despite their protests)
  • the importance of becoming a hero to your daughter
  • the biggest mistake a dad can make-and the ramifications
  • the fact that girls actually depend on their dads' guidance into adulthood
  • (0 A October 2018) Book_StrongMotherStrongSons.jpg steps fathers can follow to help daughters avoid disastrous decisions and mistakes
  • ways in which a father's faith-or lack thereof-will influence his daughter
  • essential communication strategies for different stages of a girl's life
  • true stories of "prodigal daughters"-and how their fathers helped to bring them back

Dads, you are far more powerful than you think-and if you follow Dr. Meeker' s advice, the rewards will be unmatched.


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  Fun Events!
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Kirby Preparatory School 6-12, Open House for Prospective Parents 10/20


Mount Madonna School PreK-12, Open House 10/28

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Seymour Community Free Days
Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
  10/18  10:00am to 5:00pm

  We are located at the end of Delaware Avenue.
Santa Cruz  view all details >>

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Discretion Brewing's Love Monday
Seymour Marine Discovery Center & Discretion Brewing
  10/15, 11:30am to 9:00pm
Ages: 21+
A Benefit for the Seymour Marine Discovery Center

   view all details >>

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Reach Every Amazing Detail

Our Libraries free reading comprehension program for students grades 2-12

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Big Sur Camping Trip!
click to view website
  Big Sur Camping Trip!
Adventure Sports Unlimited Adventure Travel
Date: Every day (Oct 15-Oct 19)
Ages: Ages 3 and up
Details: Camp, hike the mountains of the south coast, repose in flowing streams, hunt for jade and jasper, surf, boogie board, and play .
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 458-3648 view all details >>
Pathways Through Our Parks
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  Pathways Through Our Parks
Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Date: Every day (Oct 5-Jan 6) from 10:00am to 5:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Meet the Artist: December 7th, 6-8pm. Free to the public.
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 420-6115 view all details >>
Gift and Wreath Sale
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  Gift and Wreath Sale
Date: 11/17/2018
Details: Run, don't walk, to the Arboretum's ever-popular Holiday Gift and Wreath Sale!
Special Instructions: 9am-10am Members' Pre-Sale 10am-4pm General Public
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831.427.2998 view all details >>
Bear Creek Octoberfest
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  Bear Creek Octoberfest
Boulder Creek Rec & Park District
Date: 10/12/2018 from 6:00pm to 9:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Bear Creek Octoberfest will feature tasty beers, sausages and kraut
City: Boulder Creek Phone: 831-338-4144 view all details >>
Fine Art Paintings by local Artist, Beverly Martin
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  Fine Art Paintings by local Artist, Beverly Martin
Library Scotts Valley
Date: 04/06/2019 from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Ages: Adults
Details: Enjoy the rich and unique beauty of the California coastlands, the ancient redwoods, flora, people and animals who live here pai
City: Scotts Valley Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
Open Streets Santa Cruz 2018
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  Open Streets Santa Cruz 2018
Open Streets Santa Cruz County and Bike Santa Cruz County
Date: 10/14/2018 from 9:00am to 2:00pm
Details: Join us as we walk, play, bike and dance in the streets on a day free from car traffic
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Fish, Fins, and Flukes Fall Festival
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  Fish, Fins, and Flukes Fall Festival
Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
Date: 10/14/2018 from 10:00am to 5:00pm
Ages: All ages.
Details: Check out unique science artifacts never before seen by the public! Family crafts, El Buen Taco food truck, and live music from
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 459-3800 view all details >>
Earthquakes and our Adobe
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  Earthquakes and our Adobe
State Park Castro Adobe
Date: 10/14/2018 from 11:00am to 3:00pm
Details: Our adobe's story should have ended with 1989's Loma Prieta earthquake, but the right choices at the right times kept our story
Special Instructions: Old Adobe Road, off of Larkin Valley Road
City: Watsonville Phone: 831-335-6318 view all details >>
Archeology Day
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  Archeology Day
State Park Mission
Date: 12/15/2018 from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Details: Follow the archeological process from the dig to the display, and participate in hands-on activities
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 425-5849 view all details >>
click to view website
Santa Cruz County Parks
Date: 10/13/2018 from 10:00am to 2:00pm
Details: A community festival featuring oversize lawn games, pumpkins, music, craft stations, food trucks, a book giveaway and a picnic a
City: Santa Cruz County view all details >>
click to view website
Santa Cruz Dance
Date: 10/26/2018 from 7:00pm to 10:00pm
Ages: 7+
Details: Contra dancing for beginners and experienced dancers - Make dance magic happen on the dance floor!
Special Instructions: Hillbillies from Mars, with Kevin Carr, Ray Bierl, Paul Kotapish, and Daniel Steinberg on a dizzying array of ghoulish instruments
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Welcome Back Monarchs
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  Welcome Back Monarchs
State Park Natural Bridges
Date: 10/14/2018 from 11:00am to 4:00pm
Details: Habitat hikes, active games and crafts for children, face painting, butterfly garden tips, along with live music
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 425-5849 view all details >>
Thomas and Percy's Halloween Party
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  Thomas and Percy's Halloween Party
Roaring Camp
Date: Every Su and Sa (Oct 13-Oct 28)
Details: Dress up for Halloween with favorites Thomas and Percy, for a 20 minute train ride, entertainment, and fun filled activities
City: Felton view all details >>
Open Studios 2018
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  Open Studios 2018
Santa Cruz Art League
Date: Every Su and Sa (Oct 3-Oct 21) from 11:00am to 5:00pm
Details: Wonderful opportunity to see the amazing art of local artists and chat with them in their studios
City: Santa Cruz County view all details >>
Pleasure Point Third Thursdays
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  Pleasure Point Third Thursdays
Pleasure Point Community
Date: The 3rd Th of every month (Sep 20-May 16) at 5:00pm
Details: Come down to Pleasure Point, check out all of our fantastic new shops, support and meet local artisans and have a good time!
Special Instructions: 1st Peak Park to the Hook
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 464-7748 view all details >>
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