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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

May 4, 2017


Risk Taking for Kids

Four Ways to Teach Teens About Money

How to Take Control Locally

Ask Nicole: Siblings: Friends or Foes?

Places to Go!
Risk Taking for Kids continued
Click to view our Business Directory
 

(0 May 2017) SeymourAuction_Plantronics.jpgSeymour Marine Center's Whale of an Auction can be visited in your pjs, as it's online!  Check out the delightful items to bid on:  gourmet dining exotic adventures, jewelry and my favorite section, "good stuff."  While supporting Seymour you could end up with a treasure! You can bid if you're daring or "buy now" if you want to secure an item.  Imagine, just for registering or signing in to this year's auction, you have the opportunity to WIN a $50 gift certificate for Whole Foods Market.

I'm generally in favor of local over federal control especially in the area of education, and also when it comes to funding local projects and needs.  It's a perspective gained from a lifetime of making things work, or not. I've been observing more organizations taking local action to secure funding for their projects. I like that. Take a look at the financial workshop the Community Foundation of Santa Cruz County is offering.

If your teen is looking for a summer job, the Boardwalk is having a hiring fair this weekend and be sure to read our article by Rachel Cruze on teaching teens about money.

(2 Buttons) Button_Weekend.jpgPlease share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Have a beautiful  weekend,  Parmalee

Photo: "Good Stuff" at Whale of An Auction: BackBeat FIT Wireless Music Headphones with smartphone armband!

 

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  Risk Taking for Kids

Putting the risk back into play: the benefits of being less protective

by Laurel Gregory

My two-year-old son thinks he's a 400-pound tiger. He races so fast down the sidewalk to the park that he trips and skins his knees. He leaps from the highest platform on the playground with such reckless abandon we barely catch him before he hits the ground.

For him, it's the best part of the day. For me, it's like watching a toddler perform America Ninja Warrior with no harness or safety net.

Some days I feel like we should call the paramedics and ask them to warm up the ambulance at the edge of the park!

(0 May 2017) KidsTakingRisks.jpgRewind a few decades - back to neon scrunchies and tie-dye shirts - I used to be the exact same way. Fearless. I was rushed to the ER at four years old with a head injury after falling off the fence into the neighbor's rock bed. I have plenty of scars from a childhood of unsupervised adventures: riding my bike too fast and skidding on the pavement or falling from an old tree branch.

The best part is no one was over my shoulder warning, " be careful" or "slow down."

Advocates for risky play make a convincing case why parents like me should loosen the leash a bit or perhaps take it off altogether. Read more>>>>

 

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  Four Ways to Teach Teens About Money

by Rachel Cruze

Q: What are some of the most important things I should teach my teenager about money?

Rachel's Answer: Great question. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager myself, and here are some of the ideas I think are the most important.

1. Be honest.

Talk to your teens about the danger of credit cards. If you've had bad experiences in the past, share them. Through your experiences, they will be able to understand why choosing freedom from debt is far better than any bonus points or cash back that a credit card might offer.

2. Give them responsibility.

Don't do everything for your teen. Let him be in charge of his money. Help him open a checking account and show him how to reconcile the account. But let him do it! Also, teach him how to budget money for things like gas, clothes and going out to eat with friends. Encourage him to work or maybe even open up a small business. When I was a kid, my sister and I opened a little snack stand in the break room at my dad's office. That was a great experience because it taught us about earning and managing money.

The most successful people are those who understand the value of giving.

3. Set an example.

More is caught than taught. Your kids are watching you. I was fortunate to have parents who taught us about money at an early age.  Watching them every day really helped me understand how this stuff works. Make sure you are tithing and donating to charity. Participate in community volunteer work, and take your teen along with you.

4. Reinforce values.

Teach your kids that earning money isn't just about being able to buy stuff. The more money you earn, the more you are able to save for your future, even future generations of your family, and help other people too. The most successful people are those who understand the value of giving.

Keep all this in mind as you raise your teenagers, and you'll lay an awesome foundation for their life.

In The Graduate Survival Guide, Anthony ONeal and Rachel Cruze identify five mistakes to avoid making in college. Order a copy for your graduate today. It's the perfect graduation gift! You can watch Anthony and Rachel talk about The Graduate Survival Guide here.

 

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  How to Take Control Locally
(0 May 2017) ThinkMoneyFirst2.jpgCommunity Foundation Santa Cruz County

Bam! Kick your financial leadership up a notch! Join David Greco of Social Sector Partners (he was formerly with Northern California Grantmakers and Nonprofit Finance Fund) for a full-day intensive training meant to transform how your staff and board members work and create the visionary financial leadership that is going to push your nonprofit forward. Seats still available! Won't be repeated this year. Register today: https://thinkmoneyfirst.eventbrite.com

 

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  Ask Nicole: Siblings: Friends or Foes?

By Nicole M. Young, MSW

(0 May 2017) GetAlongShirt2.jpgWhen I was young, my siblings were my greatest friends one minute, then my biggest foes the next. We built forts, played hours of board games or just made up silly games - usually at my expense. It was always fun until my brother started teasing the rest of us or another sibling stormed off because nobody was playing by "the rules." We got on each other's nerves, but we couldn't stand to be excluded from the games. I remember the arguments, but it's the laughter and love for my earliest friends - my siblings - that has stood the test of time.

Dear Nicole, My 4- and 6-year old kids play together all the time, but they argue constantly. They fight over who gets to pour cereal first, whose turn it is to choose the TV show or who touched a toy without asking. They usually just yell at each other - which gets on my nerves - but sometimes they push each other and I have to separate them. I feel like I can never leave them alone and that's exhausting. My mom says it's normal for siblings to fight, but I can't take this much longer. What can I do?  Jorge

Dear Jorge, I'll bet every parent with multiple children has experienced what you're describing. Sibling rivalry is common, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Learning how to cooperate and handle conflict are important social skills your children will need throughout life. Here are some tips to try:

Give individual attention to each child. Give brief and frequent amounts of quality time throughout the day. When one of your kids want to show or tell you something, give them your full attention, even if it's just for one minute. This is a preventative step that keeps everyone's attention on positive interactions instead of arguments.

Use engaging activities to teach cooperation and communication. Arguments can occur when kids get bored, frustrated or don't know how to communicate their needs. To prevent this from happening, create a list of activities with your children - things they can do together and separately -and encourage them to pick a new activity when they start to get restless or frustrated with each other. When you have time, play a game or do an activity with your children that involves taking turns or solving a problem together. This provides an opportunity to spend quality time together while teaching them skills for cooperating and communicating.

Create family rules about cooperation and respect. Create a few simple family rules about how you will treat each other. State the rules in the positive (say what to do instead of what not to do) and make them easy to remember. Examples include: use kind words, keep your hands to yourself, take turns and ask before taking. Involve your children in setting the rules, and have them practice what to say and do as you discuss them. Doing this when everyone is calm will make it easier to remind them of the rules when emotions run high.

Pause, prompt, problem-solve and praise. If you notice warning signs of an argument, pause before getting involved. Give your children time to remember the family rules and work out a solution first. If the problem escalates, get close to your children and give a prompt to remind them of the family rules. "What is our rule about taking turns?" This will often be enough to prevent the conflict from escalating.

Encourage problem-solving by describing the situation and asking for their ideas about how to resolve it. "You're both feeling frustrated because you want a turn with this toy. How can we solve this?" Give descriptive praise when they suggest solutions, then ask them what ideas they can agree to. "That's a good idea to roll the dice to decide who goes first. What do you think - can you agree to that?" Continue giving praise when you notice them cooperating and getting along. Describe the specific behaviors you are encouraging - "Thanks for waiting so patiently," or "You're doing a great job taking turns."

FINAL THOUGHTS: Arguments between siblings can really test parents' skills and patience. But it is possible and beneficial to teach children cooperation and communication, starting at a very young age. Remember, small changes can make a big difference!

This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org.

 
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  Places to Go!

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High School Art Show, 4/28-5/29

 

Messiah Lutheran Preschool, Auction 5/6

 

Foothills College, Let's Play Math 5/6

 

Ecology Action, Bike to School 5/5-12

 

Santa Cruz Waldorf K-8, Mayfaire 5/6

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Triple P Workshop: Preparing Your Child for a New Baby
Triple P, Positive Parenting Program
Date: 05/19, 10:00am to 12:00pm
Ages: All
Santa Cruz  (831) 457-7099 view all details >>

 

 

Triple P Workshop: Preventing & Managing Disobedience
Triple P, Positive Parenting Program
Date: 05/04, 5:00pm to 6:30pm
Ages: All
Watsonville  (831) 465-2217 view all details >>

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Birding Walk, Elkhorn Slough
click to view website
  Birding Walk, Elkhorn Slough
Elkhorn Slough
Date: The 1st Sa of every month at 8:30am
Details: Go on a guided bird hunt, begin or add to your list of sitings
Special Instructions: Meet in the parking lot behind Whole Enchilada
City: Watsonville Phone: (831) 728-2822 view all details >>
     
Japanese Cultural Fair Family Fun Day
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  Japanese Cultural Fair Family Fun Day
Japanese Cultural Fair
Date: 05/06/2017 from 1:00pm to 4:00pm
Details: Learn traditional Japanese games
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Let's Play Math
click to view website
  Let's Play Math
Foothill College
Date: 05/06/2017 from 1:30pm to 3:30pm
Ages: For elementary and middle schoo
Details: Come and play fun Math tools and activities, and observe interesting mathematical facts behind them
Special Instructions: El Monte exit off Hw 280
City: Los Altos view all details >>
     
Around the World in 60-90 Minutes!
click to view website
  Around the World in 60-90 Minutes!
Arboretum at UC Santa Cruz
Date: The 1st Sa of every month at 11:00am
Details: Learn about the exotic plants from around the world
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831.427.2998 view all details >>
     
Basic Bicycle Maintenance Class
click to view website
  Basic Bicycle Maintenance Class
The Spokesman
Date: The 1st Sa of every month from 10:00am to 12:00am
Ages: Free
Details: Learn how to fix your flat tire!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Vaqueros on the Rancho
click to view website
  Vaqueros on the Rancho
Friends of the Santa Cruz State Parks
Date: 05/06/2017 from 1:00pm to 4:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Cowboys on the Ranch
City: Watsonville Phone: (831) 429-1840 view all details >>
     
Mayfaire
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  Mayfaire
Santa Cruz Waldorf School
Date: 05/06/2017 from 11:00am to 3:00pm
Details: Join us for a joyous celebration of Mayfaire
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 8314250519 view all details >>
     
Mountain Makers Market
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  Mountain Makers Market
SCM Makers Market
Date: 05/07/2017
Details: Come out and join us as fellow makers of the mountains and as customers who support the hidden artistry in our community! Suppor
City: Felton view all details >>
     
Touch a Truck!
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  Touch a Truck!
Scotts Valley Educational Foundation
Date: 05/07/2017 from 10:30am to 3:00pm
Details: Interactive event where boys and girls of all ages can come and explore trucks and vehicles of all shapes and sizes
City: Scotts Valley view all details >>
     
Snapshot Day
click to view website
  Snapshot Day
Coastal Watershed Council
Date: 05/06/2017 from 9:00am to 1:00pm
Ages: all
Details: Snapshot Day is the oldest and largest single-day annual water quality monitoring event in California. Volunteer!
Special Instructions: n/a
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 464-9200 view all details >>
     
Join us at our Hiring Fair!
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  Join us at our Hiring Fair!
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every day (May 6-May 7) from 8:00am to 1:00pm
Details: Hiring for ages 16+ for summer
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
STAR WARS DAY
click to view website
  STAR WARS DAY
Library Central
Date: 05/04/2017 from 4:00pm to 7:00pm
Ages: Adult
Details: Visit the library for an adventure in learning - Dodging Stormtroopers and Mandalorian Mercenaries along the way
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
Bike to Work/School
click to view website
  Bike to Work/School
Ecology Action
Date: Every day (May 5-May 12)
Ages: All
Details: Let's bike to school and work!
Special Instructions: Locations Across Santa Cruz County
City: Santa Cruz County view all details >>
     
Free First Friday
click to view website
  Free First Friday
Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Date: Every day from 11:00am to 4:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Enjoy our intertidal touch pool, large-screen microscope, and geology exhibit and "dig pit".
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 420-6115 view all details >>
     
"Soil Prep For Your Vegetable Garden"
click to view website
  "Soil Prep For Your Vegetable Garden"
UC Master Gardeners
Date: 05/07/2017 from 10:00am to 12:00pm
Details: The basics of soil science and why it's important to the success of your vegetable garden
City: Watsonville view all details >>
     
     
  Risk Taking for Kids continued

According to the B.C. online collaborative project outsideplay.ca, risky play can "have many different shapes, but always involves the thrill and excitement of testing yourself and finding out what happens." That includes playing rough and tumble - at heights, at high speeds, with dangerous tools or elements or with a chance of getting lost.  Research shows risky play is exhilarating for kids, helps them learn to manage risk and improves their motor and spatial skills.

Matt Leung, a team lead in active play for Calgary-based Vivo, says organized activities and social expectations are taking away from that time.

"I think there's such a big, big emphasis on raising the perfect child and making sure that our child has access to music lessons and sports lessons, skating, swimming - all of those critical, tangible skills that parents are on some level expected to cultivate in their children that we lose out on giving our kids the chance to develop some of those soft skills: the opportunity to problem-solve and teamwork and develop genuine relationships with other kids just throughout the process of peer play."

READ MORE: $110K grant to foster "risky outdoor play' given to Edmonton daycare

At Vivo's day camp, play ambassadors participate in child-led activities like leaping off of tree stumps, play-fighting with sticks and climbing on rocks.

"The words "be careful' really don't have a lot of meaning," Leung said.

"Instead we really encourage that parents or caregivers ask open-ended questions, get the kids thinking critically about what they are doing and how they can explore their environment in a new way."

"Really as simple as saying things like, "Hey, have you tried this? How could you get up on to that rock in a different way? Can you do something a little bit different with that dowel or that tree stump? And just really stimulating their curiosity and their imagination to try something they haven't tried before."

Last week at the park, I decided to give this concept a shot. I even crouched behind a few bushes waiting for my two year old to abandon the slide and come look for me (a silly attempt to facilitate his feeling of "getting lost.") He played away merrily and I gave up after 10 minutes when my legs fell asleep and the pine cones hurt my fingers. This week, I will give it another crack by omitting "be careful" from my vocabulary at the park. As he bounds from stump to slide, you won't hear a peep from me. Just a quiet, unavoidable flutter in my chest.

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