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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

May 31, 2018
Party!

How to Make Love Last

Friendship Benches Foster Positive Mental Health

Ask Nicole: Dads: Your Presence Matters

A dinosaur from Jurassic Park is on the loose...

Fun Events!
Ask Nicole continued...
Loose Dinosaur continued...
Click to view our Business Directory
  Party!

(0 A May 2018) SCS-POPS_200.jpgThis family friendly program will be fun and inspiring for the children. Of course you'll be dressing the part for this Santa Cruz County Symphony, right? "Come relive the music of John Williams from your favorite movies! Selections include Star Wars, Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, E.T. and more! And join us for a street party starting at 5:30 in front of the Civic Auditorium. Fun for the whole family!"

We all know that after the first blush of romantic love it takes conscientious efforts to nurture our love relationships. We also know how important it is for parents to set the tone in a family, and to model for our children how to interact with a loved one.  I found some Ted Talks which offer unique perspectives on LOVE. Enjoy!

Enjoy the weekend with the family! Parmalee

 

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  How to Make Love Last

(0 A May 2018) how_to_make_love_last.jpg"Falling in love is intoxicating, but how do you build, or rebuild, a lasting partnership?" These Ted Talks may offer creative solutions.

"The Secret to Desire in a long-term relationship

Falling in love is intoxicating, but how do you build a lasting partnership after the high fades? In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence. - Esther Perel

This is what enduring love looks like

Stacey Baker has always been obsessed with how couples meet. When she asked photographer Alec Soth to help her explore this topic, they found themselves at the world's largest speed-dating event, held in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day, and at the largest retirement community in Nevada - with Soth taking portraits of pairs in each locale. Between these two extremes, they unwound a beautiful through-line of how a couple goes from meeting to creating a life together. (This talk was part of a TED2015 session curated by Pop-Up Magazine: popupmagazine.com or @popupmag on Twitter.) - Alex Soth & Stacey Baker

Falling In Love is the Easy Part

Did you know you can fall in love with anyone just by asking them 36 questions? Mandy Len Catron tried this experiment, it worked, and she wrote a viral article about it (that your mom probably sent you). But ... is that real love? Did it last? And what's the difference between falling in love and staying in love? - Mandy Len Catron

Love- You're Doing It Wrong

In this delightful talk, philosopher Yann Dall'Aglio explores the universal search for tenderness and connection in a world that's ever more focused on the individual. As it turns out, it's easier than you think. A wise and witty reflection on the state of love in the modern age. In French with subtitles. - Yann Dall'Aglio

Rethinking Infidelity

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected - an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships. -Ester Perel"

 

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  Friendship Benches Foster Positive Mental Health

(0 A May 2018) FriendshipBench_Zimbabwe.jpgA Friendship Bench/Mental Health program in Zimbabwe was launched because there are too few mental health professional workers in the country. Older women with life experience, "grandmothers," are trained as volunteers with good listening skills, knowledge of resources and time for giving. I think "grandfathers" as friendship ambassadors would be equally welcome.

(0 A May 2018) FriendshipBench_Buddy2Girls.jpgHolly: "Although we don't have this particular program in our lives (yet) , it shows how being kind, just listening to a person in need, can help. I'm sure most of us can share a few moments to find that person in need ( spouse, neighbor, clerk?) and just listen."

Kate: "This is beneficial to the older counselors as well. Almost every culture struggles with the elderly population not feeling "needed."

Christine: "Maybe we all need to be kinder to each other."

Doxie: "The answer is in the simple things . What an awesome idea!"

(0 A May 2018) FriendshipBench_Curved.jpgI searched for "Friendship Benches" and was rewarded with delightful articles and photos. The Friendship Bench concept is growing and can be found in parks, schools, businesses, etc. Imagine how magical it could be to bring it into the family home, a special, friendship bench where families go to discuss conflicts in a friendly spirit.

The photos of actual friendship benches are inspiring. I especially liked curved benches, benches in tranquil, nature settings, but really anywhere there is a need would work. We have so many benches --in our parks, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, downtown, children's school playgrounds-- that we could simply begin referring to them as our friendship benches. Take a walk, spy another person sitting on a bench, say "Is this a Friendship Bench? May I join you?" Whether you may sit quietly or chat a little,you've made a connection.

 

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  Ask Nicole: Dads: Your Presence Matters

By Nicole M. Young, MSW

When my kids were younger, my husband worked from home and had a very flexible schedule. On Fridays, the kids stayed home for "Fun-day Friday" with daddy instead of going to their usual child care provider or preschool. Once they started going to school, each child had their own week of "Camp Daddy" during the summer doing activities that they chose. Sometimes Camp Daddy involved going to the beach, having a picnic at the municipal airport, or the occasional trip to the Boardwalk. One year, Camp Daddy involved making an elaborate paper mache animal. I still don't know what it was supposed to be, but my daughter and husband were beyond proud of their creation. My husband treasures those memories, especially now that our kids are older and spend more time away from home than with us. Someday, I hope my kids truly appreciate that gift of time with their dad.

This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is raising children, based on the world-renowned Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have questions for a future column, email me at triplep@first5scc.org.

Dear Nicole, When I was growing up, my dad was really strict and didn't show much affection. He was hardly around because he worked two jobs. We didn't have a close relationship and I resented how hard he was on me. Now that I have sons, I hear myself saying some of the same things to them, and I worry that I'm turning into my dad. I want to have a better relationship with my sons than I had with my dad. Do you have any tips for me? - Daryl

Dear Daryl, The fact that you're asking this question means that you're on the right path. Dads and father figures play an important role in children's healthy development. Studies show that children with an involved father or father figure in their lives are more likely to be confident, emotionally secure, able to get along with peers, and less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the community. So, the bottom line is, dads and father figures are important!

Here are some tips to try in your family: continued>>>

 

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  A dinosaur from Jurassic Park is on the loose...

Movie Music of John Williams, The Santa Cruz Symphony Strikes Back!

6/2, 7:30pm at the Santa Cruz Civic Auditorium  ~  Street Party, 5:30pm in front of the Civic

(0 A May 2018) SCS-POPS_200.jpgA dinosaur is on the loose from Jurassic Park and threatens to stampede the Pops Street Party (starting at 5:30pm)!  Fortunately, a Jurassic Park ranger will be on hand in his official jeep to protect the party-goers. Take lots of photos so we can be sure to spot any loose dinosaurs!

That's not all.

Darth Vader was last seen in Santa Cruz in 2014 and, upon capturing Danny, was overheard to say, "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Danny, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this Power of Music and bring cacophony to the galaxy."

Continued>>>

 

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  Fun Events!
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 JUNE

CALENDAR

 

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DeLaveaga K-5,   Spring Carnival 6/1

 

Mount Madonna PreK-12, Ramayana 6/7-10

 

ALL SCHOOL EVENTS

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Sunday Seaside Crafts
Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
Date: Every Su from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Ages: Kids and up
Details: Join us with your small fry every Sunday for hands-on fun!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 459-3800 view all details >>

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Free Movies at the Beach
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  Free Movies at the Beach
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every Wed and Fri (Jun 15-Aug 31)
Details: Bring the family and your blanket or low back chair and join us for these classic hits!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Wednesday Night Twilight Concerts
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  Wednesday Night Twilight Concerts
Capitola Village
Date: Every Wed (Jun 6-Aug 29) from 6:00pm to 8:00pm
Details: Twilight Concerts serves up live music on the beach on Wednesday evenings from 6 to 8 p.m. Bring a blanket or chair and relax.
City: Capitola Village view all details >>
     
Artichoke Festival
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  Artichoke Festival
Castroville Artichoke Festival
Date: Every day (Jun 2-Jun 3)
Details: Artichokes fried, sauteed, grilled, marinated, pickled, fresh, and creamed in soup and much more!
City: Monterey Phone: 831-633-3465 view all details >>
     
Kid's Tool Workshop
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  Kid's Tool Workshop
Home Depot
Date: The 1st Sa of every month from 9:00am to 12:00pm
Ages: 5-12
Details: Free kids workshops teach do-it-yourself skills and tool safety
City: Capitola or Watsonville view all details >>
     
Author Talk: Dana MacKenzie
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  Author Talk: Dana MacKenzie
Library Aptos
Date: 06/04/2018 from 6:00pm to 7:30pm
Ages: Adults
Details: Dana will talk about the perplexing fact that science has struggled so much to make sense of causation, something that is intuit
City: Aptos Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
Author Talk: The Kurdish Bike
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  Author Talk: The Kurdish Bike
Library La Selva Beach
Date: 06/07/2018 from 10:30am to 12:00pm
Details: Based on her true story, especially friendships with women in a local village
City: La Selva Beach Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
Origami Club with Japanese Cultural Fair
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  Origami Club with Japanese Cultural Fair
Library Aptos
Date: The 1st Sa of every month (Apr 7-Dec 1) at 1:00pm
Details: performances
City: Aptos Phone: 831- 427-7700 ext. 7665 view all details >>
     
The Blue Tarp Project Exhibit
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  The Blue Tarp Project Exhibit
LibraryCentral
Date: 06/01/2018 from 5:30pm to 8:00pm
Ages: All
Details: The Blue Tarp Project Exhibit - photographic story of homelessness
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
Free Swim Lessons with Tiffany
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  Free Swim Lessons with Tiffany
Seahorse Swim School
Date: 06/02/2018 from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Free swim lessons Mar 31, April 28, May 5 and June 2
Special Instructions: Mar 31, April 28, May 5 and June 2
City: Aptos Phone: (831) 476-7946 view all details >>
     
Ebb & Flow River Arts Festival
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  Ebb & Flow River Arts Festival
Coastal Watershed
Date: Every day (Jun 1-Jun 2)
Details: Two days of revelry, artmaking, and free family fun
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
June Adopt-a-Cat Month
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  June Adopt-a-Cat Month
Santa Cruz County Animal
Date: 06/02/2018 from 10:00am to 6:00pm
Details: Celebrate and support cats! June is cat adoption month! Join us for a kick off with live jazz, face painting, bake sale, a wine
Special Instructions: Cat adoptions will be half-priced for the entire month of June!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Bear Stories!
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  Bear Stories!
San Lorenzo Valley Museum
Date: Every Tues, Wed, Th, Fri and Sa (Jun 1-Jun 30) from 6:00pm to 9:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Stories of bear encounters, both grizzlies and black bears, in the Santa Cruz area from the late 1700s to the present day
Special Instructions: Every Tues - Sat
City: Boulder Creek Phone: (831) 338-8382 view all details >>
     
Redwood Mountain Faire
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  Redwood Mountain Faire
Valley Women's Club
Date: Every day (Jun 2-Jun 3) at 11:00am
Ages: All
Details: Dance the day away to live music with your friends and family while enjoying tasty locally made food, cold beer, cider, and wine
Special Instructions: Parking: $5
City: Felton Phone: 831/ 335-4484 view all details >>
     
Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle! Tour
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  Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle! Tour
The Wiggles
Date: 06/08/2018 from 6:30pm to 7:30pm
Ages: All
Details: You might like to "Do the Propeller" or "Dial E for Emma" say g'day to Lachy's friend Ponso the Pony or play "Simon Says" as wel
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Biggest Little Air Show
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  Biggest Little Air Show
Hiller Aviation Museum
Date: 06/02/2018 from 10:00am to 1:00pm
Details: Thrilling aerobatic performance by airshow pilot Rich Perkins in the Yak-54 Russian Thunder along with demonstrations of excepti
City: San Carlos Phone: (650) 654-0200 view all details >>
     
Understanding Children's Emotions
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  Understanding Children's Emotions
Library Live Oak
Date: 06/03/2018 from 3:00pm to 4:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Why our children get so emotional and how we can help them get back on track. You'll leave this talk with practical parenting to
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831)427-7717 view all details >>
     
Scotts Valley Friends Summer Book Sale
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  Scotts Valley Friends Summer Book Sale
Library Scotts Valley
Date: 06/02/2018 from 10:00am to 4:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Scotts Valley Friends Summer Book Sale
City: Scotts Valley Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
     
  Ask Nicole continued...

Here are some tips to try in your family: continued>>>

(0 A May 2018) ConorCarynLyndon_Aug82016.jpgRemember that little moments matter. Many parents fear that spending quality time with children requires a lot of time or money and end up convincing themselves "it can wait." In reality, the small moments add up and create a lasting impact. Think about the kinds of memories you want your children to have of you when they get older. Are you playing games, laughing, reading, hugging, telling jokes, or just being silly? Imagine the memories you want to create, then do those things together for small chunks of time frequently throughout the day. This forms the foundation of a good relationship that lasts a lifetime.

Eat meals together. Meals provide a chance to be together as a family and spend time talking and paying attention to each other. This gives younger children a sense of security and belonging in the family and lets teens know their parents still care about what's going on in their lives. Studies have also shown that eating meals together improves children's eating habits and school performance. What's not to like about that?

(0 A May 2018) Dad_Alex_DadDaughter.jpgGive affection in different ways. Giving affection is one way to show your children that you notice and value them. This can feel unnatural or even impossible for some parents, especially if their own parents didn't show a lot of affection. Or, some children are sensitive to touch and find physical affection unpleasant. If either of these is true for you, try giving small amounts of affection in ways that feel comfortable to you and your children. Use loving words, a light pat on the back or a smile to show you care.

Set a good example. You are your children's lifelong teacher. They are constantly learning by watching and listening to the way you communicate with others, handle emotions, and solve problems - even when it seems like they're not paying attention to you. Model the behaviors you want your children to learn - like expressing emotions, giving affection, listening and cooperating with others - and they are more likely to learn those skills, too.

Final Thoughts: Being a parent is hard work, but that hard work will pay off. Remember that small acts of love and kindness make a big difference, and your presence is the best gift you can give your children.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 14 and 18, who also manages Santa Cruz County's Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, the world's leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit http://triplep.first5scc.org or www.facebook.com/triplepscc.

  Loose Dinosaur continued...

Storm Troopers have been spotted in the area and are expected to congregate near the Santa Cruz Civic Auditorium on June 2. You will know who they are because of their white uniforms. Dress as one of them, an Extra Terrestrial, or any other character from a John Williams movie and enter into the Costume Contest at 6:45 pm to foil their attempts at control. (Categories for both adults and children with some great prizes!)

Wizards may also be wandering about. The 2017 Baton Winner might be spotted waving his wand to Conduct the Symphony. Who knows? He just might create some errant fireworks with his magic. If we work together we can find a new Baton Winner to help save the Symphony!

Most importantly, bid on our live auction items. By doing this, you will give power to the Positive Force of Music Education and help us rescue Danny, the Santa Cruz Symphony and our Music Education Programs!

Get to the Street Party by 5:30 and enjoy some yummy food from the Ate3One Food Truck and be entertained by Rose & The Honeysuckers.

May the Force of Music Be With You!

John Williams is undeniably the most recognizable and prolific composer for movie music. Come enjoy this concert of classic themes from movies such as Star Wars, Harry Potter, Catch Me If You Can, E.T., Jurassic Park, and the original Indiana Jones movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The festivities begin with our Street Party, starting at 5:30 pm in front of the Civic.  Proceeds benefit the Santa Cruz Symphony's Music Education Programs.

This concert is fun for the whole family! 

Tickets available at SantaCruzTickets.com.

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