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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

March 24, 2016
Tomatoes and Bees

Relationships and How Our Formative Family Dynamics Imprint Us

Christine: Viruses in Our DNA

Suki:"Inside Out," a tour of modern parenting

Welcome Home Our Bees

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  Tomatoes and Bees

(A Mar 16) KrimTomatoes1.jpgSpring arrives and thoughts of tomato plants spark my imagination, especially the luscious, tasty black krim variety. Check out the great annual tomato plant sale by Love Apple Farms on Sunday, March 27. It is always well worth the investment to (A Mar 16) PlanetBeeFoundation.jpgbegin with a healthy plant and even more to provide a deep hole with a fish and aspirin at the bottom.  And then there are the bees.  Tonight there's a class on bees at Live Oak Grange and Saturday there's a wonderful presentation on bees at the Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History.  One can live in an urban setting and be a farmer!

I read through the list of "49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child" and thought "Hmmmm... I'm going to try a few of these with some adult friends also."  I liked some and didn't like others, but that's what it's about --choices!

I admit to a little envy yet even more to great admiration for the profound thinking and studying that goes into Maria Popova's writing which she shares with us on Brain Pickings.  Her article that I share with you today is robust with ideas on family and relationships. 

(A Buttons) Button_Weekend.jpgPlease recommend our newsletter to new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events! We cannot fit them all into this newsletter.  There are more on the online calendar.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the children while they are close! Parmalee

 

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  Relationships and How Our Formative Family Dynamics Imprint Us

The Tragic Necessity of Human Life: Willa Cather on Relationships and How Our Formative Family Dynamics Imprint Us

by Maria Popova, Brain Pickings

"To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love," the great Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hahn wrote in his short, potent meditation on how to love. Developmentally, we humans learn - or mislearn - how to love through our formative attachment patterns, modeled by and cultivated within the family - patterns that imprint our emotional identity and shape the defaults of how we connect, be they wounding or harmonizing. Family dynamics thus become inseparable from our sense of identity, and although we might eventually rewire our attachment patterns through new relationships and ample self-work, we can never fully unmoor ourselves from those formative affections, for they are woven into the mysterious thread that makes us and our childhood selves one person.

That peculiar, inescapable dance between the family and the self is what beloved novelist Willa Cather (December 7, 1873-April 24, 1947) explores in one of the pieces found in her altogether magnificent 1936 nonfiction collection Not Under Forty (public library).

In a beautiful appreciation of Katherine Mansfield's genius for conveying the complexities of human relationships, Cather writes:

I doubt whether any contemporary writer has made one feel more keenly the many kinds of personal relations which exist in an everyday "happy family" who are merely going on living their daily lives, with no crises or shocks or bewildering complications to try them. Yet every individual in that household (even the children) is clinging passionately to his individual soul, is in terror of losing it in the general family flavor. As in most families, the mere struggle to have anything of one's own, to be one's self at all, creates an element of strain which keeps everybody almost at the breaking-point.

One realizes that even in harmonious families there is this double life: the group life, which is the one we can observe in our neighbor's household, and, underneath, another - secret and passionate and intense - which is the real life that stamps the faces and gives character to the voices of our friends. Always in his mind each member of these social units is escaping, running away, trying to break the net which circumstances and his own affections have woven about him. One realizes that human relationships are the tragic necessity of human life; that they can never be wholly satisfactory, that every ego is half the time greedily seeking them, and half the time pulling away from them.

Art from In Pieces by Marion Fayolle, a wordless exploration of human relationships

And yet even amid this glibness, Cather does what she does best - out of the seemingly damning, she wrests the redemptive:

In those simple relationships of loving husband and wife, affectionate sisters, children and grandmother, there are innumerable shades of sweetness and anguish which make up the pattern of our lives day by day, though they are not down in the list of subjects from which the conventional novelist works...

These secret accords and antipathies which lie hidden under our everyday behavior ... more than any outward events make our lives happy or unhappy.

That Not Under Forty has gone out of print is nothing short of a tragedy, but used copies are still findable and well worth a trip to the public library. Read more>>>>

 

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  Christine: Viruses in Our DNA

(A Mar 16) HumanSilhouette.jpgI'm not sure we know the definition of a human. Theoretically, we should be able to look at our DNA and let our genes define what is human. However, as we look more closely at our genes we find a huge problem - not all our genes are human.

Earlier I blogged about some of our non-human genes. Unless you are from Central Africa you probably have some Neanderthal or Denisovan genes. Essentially, most of us are mongrels. Now a new study identifies some other outsider genes. It turns out that we are part virus. Read more>>>

Christine Cockey is a local mom and scientist who researches what's happening in the world of science and makes science easier to understand.  Keep up with her latest articles at http://mistralmtn.blogspot.com/ 

 

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  Suki:"Inside Out," a tour of modern parenting

One of the benefits of parenting now rather than in previous times is how much more we know about human brains and how they work. Before the 21st century, advice to parents and teachers was pretty much based on inference-"we see that lots of people who have done xyz have had good results, so you should do it, too."

These days, parents are benefiting from-and in some cases, freaking out because of-a huge influx of hard data about how brains work. So it's not surprising that Pixar has come out with a movie that's not only for kids, but for us adults who are worrying about how our parenting is affecting our children's brains. [Read an interview with the director in which he talks about how his 11-year-old daughter inspired the film.]

The freak-out at the dinner table. We've been there!

A movie for kids and adults

"Inside Out" is a truly brilliant film in several respects. The aspect most important to me as an adult is that it's a kids' movie that adults can not only enjoy with the kids, but enjoy separately from the kids. As we sat in the theater, I noticed a striking pattern of laughter: The kids were laughing at the funny lines, the goofiness, and the nutty action sequences.

True, the adults were laughing at those, too. But we were also laughing at...Find out!>>>>

Suki Wessling is a local parent and author who writes about reading, writing, parenting, education, and homeschooling.

 

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  Welcome Home Our Bees

Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Welcome Home Our Bees
Date: 03/26/2016 from 11:00am to 4:00pm
Ages: All Ages Admission Fees: FREE with Museum Admission:
$4 Adult, $2 Seniors,  Free for Youth under 18, Free for Museum Members


(A Mar 16) PlanetBeeFoundation.jpgJoin us in welcoming home the Museum's bee hive and exhibit! We are celebrating with Planet Bee Foundation, which will bring a guest hive, artifacts, and a fun craft.

 Come and learn more about bees and enjoy a unique and up-close window into the world of these hardworking insects.


Location: Santa Cruz Museum of Natural His, 1305 East Cliff Drive, Santa Cruz Map
Phone: (831)420-6115 •website Santa Cruz

 

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Mount Madonna PreK-12, Cultural Awareness Assembly K-5, 3/24 & 25

 

Chartwell School 1-12, Open House 4/5

 

Waldorf School K-9,  A Walk Through the Grades 4/13

 

Mount Madonna PreK-13, Art & Play in Pre & K 4/13

 

Gateway School K-8, School Day Tours 4/16

 

All School Events

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 Dragons are real and they come from South Africa and...
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Swim Lessons in New Private Pool
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  Swim Lessons in New Private Pool
Seahorse Swim School
Date: Every day
Ages: 6 months and Up
Details: Swim lessons in Tiffany Harmon's Seahorse private pool
City: Aptos Phone: (831) 476-7946 view all details >>
     
Balinese Dance: I Gede Oka Artha Negara
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  Balinese Dance: I Gede Oka Artha Negara
Santa Cruz Library Downtown Branch
Date: 04/01/2016 from 6:00pm to 7:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Balinese Dance: I Gede Oka Artha Negara
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
Book to Action: EYES WIDE OPEN
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  Book to Action: EYES WIDE OPEN
Santa Cruz Library Aptos Branch
Date: 04/02/2016 from 11:00am to 12:00pm
Ages: Adults
Details: Forum : Join a community brainstorming session led by Paul Fleischman
City: Aptos Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
     
Spring!
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  Spring!
Date:
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Join us at our Hiring Fair!
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  Join us at our Hiring Fair!
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every day (May 6-May 7) from 8:00am to 1:00pm
Details: Hiring for ages 16+ for summer
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
New Mommy Musical Meet-UP
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  New Mommy Musical Meet-UP
Musical Me, Inc. Offers Music Together
Date: The 3rd Tues of every month from 12:00pm to 1:30pm
Ages: birth - 12months
Details: Join us every 3rd Tuesday for our "New Mommy Musical Meet-Up"!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 438-3514 view all details >>
     
Easter Egg Hunt
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  Easter Egg Hunt
Kennolyn Camp
Date: 04/15/2017 at 10:00am
Details: 10th Annual Easter Egg Hunt FREE event for the entire family
City: Soquel view all details >>
     
For Mom: Feel Good Friday Radio
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  For Mom: Feel Good Friday Radio
Lorraine Pursell and Dee James
Date: Every Wed
Ages: All
Details: Weekly Mom Uplift: Ask Your Future Self
Phone: (808) 936-4370 view all details >>
     
Spring!
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  Spring!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Egg Hunts
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  Egg Hunts
San Francisco Zoo
Date: Every day (Mar 26-Mar 27)
Details: Learn about conserving jaguars
City: San Francisco view all details >>
     
Preschool Storytime
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  Preschool Storytime
Bookshop Santa Cruz
Date: Every Wed from 10:00am to 10:30am
Ages: toddler and pre-school aged chil
Details: Mamoura Slike reads to toddlers and pre-schoolers
view all details >>
     
MISS NELSON IS MISSING!
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  MISS NELSON IS MISSING!
California Theater
Date: 04/04/2016
Details: The kind and clever Miss Nelson masquerades as the infamous Viola Swamp, a very colorful and nasty substitute
City: Watsonville view all details >>
     
Clifford, the Big Red Dog
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  Clifford, the Big Red Dog
Golden State Fox Theatre
Date: 03/26/2016 at 2:00pm
Details: The 'big red dog,' a character beloved for generations, comes to life on stage in a BIG way in this interactive musical!
City: Monterey Phone: (831) 649-1070 x 21 view all details >>
     
Egg Hunts
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  Egg Hunts
San Francisco Zoo
Date: Every day (Mar 26-Mar 27)
Details: Learn about conserving jaguars
City: San Francisco view all details >>
     
     
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