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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

March 23, 2017
Escape with Historical Fiction

Photos, Two Lamps, White Paper and Your Phone!

Positive Discipline Parenting Tips on: Sharing

Places to Go!
Sharing continued...
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  Escape with Historical Fiction

(0 Mar 2017) Book_InThisGraveHour.jpg"...the key to disciplining boys is in wearing them out physically so the birds in their brains fly in formation." Jacqueline Winspear

Words are exquisite! Imagine birds flying in formation in our brains and the implied opposite.  Jacqueline Winspear's description of city children sent to the country in Britain in WWII jumped out at me from her just released Maisie Dobbs mystery, In This Grave Hour. If you like historical fiction and following the life and growth of characters over decades this series is for you. Reading in sequence is a must. Sometimes I wish I could create stories like my favorite authors, but alas I'm too busy reading!  And sometimes I fall asleep after reading only a few pages, other times I can't put the book down and read into the early hours of morning. Ms. Winspear's stories, which span pre-WWI to beginning WWII, are suitable for young adults to grannies.

Are you overwhelmed with boxes of photos from another era? I have photos going back generations and am determined to share the best of them digitally with family. Then I'm going to twist someone's arms to become custodian of the physical history!  I share step one in this process with you.

(2 Buttons) Button_Weekend.jpgPlease share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Have a great weekend,  Parmalee


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  Photos, Two Lamps, White Paper and Your Phone!

Do you have an old box or album of photos you would LOVE to scan/digitize, but simply don't know how, much-less have the time? There are myriad professional options (you can send them off, etc.), but those are very expensive; you could also buy a high-powered scanner and do it all with your computer, but there HAS to be an easier way!

Thankfully as our mobile phones have become more powerful and advanced, so to have their cameras.  This means that you can now use your PHONE to take a picture of your old photos - which is the same thing as scanning!  So let's go through how to do it...

old photos one

How to Scan Photos with Your Phone - 5 Steps

1. Clear a flat space on a desk or table, and lay a piece of white paper down. This will be your scanning background. If your photos are larger format, use a few pieces of paper to create a larger background, but if you are doing standard sizes, a normal 8″x11.5″ paper should be just fine.

2. Place two small lamps on either side of the paper. The trick with scanning is making sure that there is good lighting that comes from both sides rather than top-down (which is where your phone will be. If you have an extra lamp, you can put one at the top as well, but one on each side should suffice.

3. Place your photo at the center of the white paper. Make sure the photo is as flat as possible, so that there are no shadows on the photo itself.

4. Turn on the camera on your phone and hold it over the photo. Using the viewer, try to center the photo in the frame and make sure the edges line up with the edges of your phone. To do this, you'll need to hold the camera as directly above the photo as possible. Once you have it ready, take 3-4 snapshots of it and view your results. Most cameras are great in accounting for the natural shakes we all have, but you'll likely notice that one photo is better than the others. This is your scan!

5. Edit the photo on your phone or computer! Once you have your image or images scanned, you can crop them to the right size on your phone or computer *and* you can even do some color restoration or touchups. After that, you can share them with family, friends, or on Facebook.

Good luck with your scanning! If you are like us, you'll LOVE making sure that the photos are preserved for future generations.


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  Positive Discipline Parenting Tips on: Sharing

By Colleen Murphy
Positive Discipline Parent Educator

(0 Mar 2017) CaryLindenBalls.jpgWe all want our children to: share, think of others, be generous. These are wonderful traits to instill in our children but keep in mind that it takes many years and many steps along the way to develop the ability to share. Nature has designed children to begin life focused on themselves, NOT to share. It is Mother Nature's way of guaranteeing survival of her smallest. Sharing is simply not something a child under three can do. A child who says "Mine!" is no more selfish than a baby who doesn't walk is lazy.

Typical behaviors can include:

  • Grabbing
  • Pushing friends away
  • Possessive attitudes and outbursts

Young children do not have an understanding of ownership. Their thinking could be: "If I give you my toy does that mean it belongs to you now? Will I ever get another turn with this toy?"

Successful sharing skills includes the ability to understand three complex concepts:

  • Another's perspective
  • Personal boundaries
  • Ownership

Teaching that sometimes it is okay NOT to share is just as important. All humans, young and old, need to have privacy and boundaries that others respect. They should not have to share everything with everybody. Continue for Sharing Strategies for Toddlers and Preschoolers>>>

For more information and parenting classes, go to or call 831-476- 7284 x107.


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  Places to Go!

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Pacific Collegiate 9-12, Spring Awakening Concerts 3/16-26


Mount Madonna Pre-12, Celebrating the Cultures of America 3/30


Gateway School K-8, School Day Tour 4/12

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Key Sharing Concepts

    Be fair and neutral.

    Have a good number of toys/activities available.

    Pre-plan by removing toys your child is not willing to share; don't require him to share everything all the time; respect his boundaries so he will learn to respect yours.

    Supervise closely, step in when problems arise.

    Give children a reasonable amount of time to explore a toy.
    Coach them through turn-taking.

    Don't engage in a power struggle when kids resist turntaking; acknowledge the resistance and move on to a solution.

    Acknowledge thoughtful social skills you witness.
    Model sharing and model the right not to share.

    Set a family rule that we don't use things without permission.
    Use Family Meetings to address sharing issues and jointly come to a resolution.

    Resources: Positive
    Discipline A-Z
    , Nelson, Lott, Glenn.
    Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, Keyser, Davis.

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Join us at our Hiring Fair!
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  Join us at our Hiring Fair!
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every day (May 6-May 7) from 8:00am to 1:00pm
Details: Hiring for ages 16+ for summer
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Spring Overnight
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  Spring Overnight
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every day (Mar 24-Mar 25)
Details: Boardwalk Spring Overnight Friday, March 24 - Saturday, March
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 423-5590 view all details >>
Boys & Girls Clubs Youth of the Year Awards Banquet
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  Boys & Girls Clubs Youth of the Year Awards Banquet
Boys and Girls Club of Santa Cruz
Date: 03/23/2017 from 6:00pm to 8:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Youth of the Year Awards Banquet
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 423-3138 view all details >>
Sharing Tips
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  Sharing Tips
view all details >>
Mindfulness for Children Age 9-13
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  Mindfulness for Children Age 9-13
Discovery Learning Center
Date: 03/26/2017 from 4:00pm to 6:00pm
Ages: 9-13
Details: Mindfulness for Children Age 9-13, Sunday, March 26, 4-6pm
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Citizen Science: Environteers
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  Citizen Science: Environteers
Library Central
Date: The 1st Th of every month from 6:30pm to 8:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Learn about ways to preserve our naturalresources.
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 427-7717 view all details >>
Lego: Not-So-Simple Machines
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  Lego: Not-So-Simple Machines
Library La Selva Beach
Date: The 4th Fri of every month at 11:00am
Ages: 9-18
Details: Lego: Not-So-Simple Machines No Session 11/24 Create Lego devices
City: La Selva Beach Phone: 661-4771 view all details >>
Alla Rustica, Baroque Music
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  Alla Rustica, Baroque Music
Santa Cruz Baroque Festival
Date: 03/26/2017 at 3:00pm
Ages: All
Details: A great way to introduce the children to joyful baroque music ...
Special Instructions: Saturday February 25 at 7:30pm and Sunday February 26 at 3:00pm
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 459-2159 view all details >>
Exploring the San Lorenzo River
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  Exploring the San Lorenzo River
Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Date: Every Sa (Mar 11-Apr 22) from 8:30am to 10:30am
Ages: All Ages
Details: A special Earth Day "BioBlitz"- where citizen scientists can identify organisms and record data. A BioBlitz is a period of biolo
Special Instructions: various locations
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831-420-6115 view all details >>
Sharing Tips
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  Sharing Tips
view all details >>
The Fascinating Honeybee
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  The Fascinating Honeybee
Watsonville Wetlands
Date: 03/28/2017 from 6:30pm to 9:00pm
Details: Allison Gong discusses the biology of honey bees, pollination ecology, and threats to pollinators
Special Instructions: Lee Road and Harkins Slough Road
City: Watsonville Phone: 831-345-1226 view all details >>
Summer Camp Fair
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  Summer Camp Fair
New Leaf
Date: 03/26/2017 from 10:00am to 2:00pm
Details: Summer Camp Fair at the Westside New Leaf   Spring has barely sprung,
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Family Discovery Walk
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  Family Discovery Walk
State Park Big Basin
Date: 09/23/2017 at 1:00pm
Details: We'll discover what surprises the day offers on this easy, one-mile round trip walk
City: Boulder Creek Phone: 831-338-8860 view all details >>
Become a Docent at Castro Adobe State Historic Park
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  Become a Docent at Castro Adobe State Historic Park
Friends of the Santa Cruz State Parks
Date: 04/08/2017 from 10:00am to 2:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Become a docent at Castro Adobe State Historic Park
City: Watsonville Phone: (831) 429-1840 view all details >>
  Sharing continued...

(0 Mar 2017) CaryandLindenOrigami.jpgSharing Strategies for Toddlers

1. Provide plenty of interesting objects to explore to reduce conflicts.

2. Distract toddlers by offering something else to play with or to do, or walk them to a new area to play.

3. Supervise closely to intervene quickly when your child tries to take an object from someone. Gently and firmly remove your child's hands and redirect to an available object.

4. Teach this very simple, concrete rule: If it is in someone's hands, the toy is not free to touch. "Josie has the ball in her hands, see? It's her turn now. There's another ball over there that is free to play with." Repeat this rule often.

5. Respect toddlers' interest in a toy. Teach holding boundaries. Let them fully explore an object until they are finished before they have it yanked away in the name of "sharing." Children are driven to explore.Once this need is fully met with enough time, they are much more likely to happily pass on the toy to another.

6. Teach how to hold boundaries. Step in to redirect other children who try to take a toy from your child. Return the toy to your child if it has been successfully pulled away. These actions teach a clear message: it's okay to have boundaries.

7. Invite your child to give the toy they have lost interest in to a child who is next in line for a turn. Usually toddlers have no resistance to doing this because they have had enough time to explore. Give them phrases to practice saying to each other and point out the positive impact of sharing, "Tell Sam, "Your turn,' and hand it to him. Oh, look, Sam is smiling because you shared your ball with him!"

Sharing Strategies for Preschoolers

1. Plan ahead:

  • Have toys/activities available that encourage sharing like playdough, art materials, building blocks, cars on a car mat, or playhouse kitchen with lots of equipment.
  • With your child's input, store away toys that are too special to share before friends come over.
  • Meet up in neutral territory such as parks and local play groups.

2. Continue the same rule as with toddlers: If it is in someone's hands, the toy is not free to touch.

3. Be fair and neutral. When things are handled fairly, all humans are much more likely to share and take turns.

4. Negotiate turn-taking with toys. Three-to- five year olds have the ability to talk through problems and to wait for a short period for their turn, but will need lots of close supervision and coaching. Lower yourself to eye-level and model the words for turn-taking: "Sara, Jorge wants a turn. Please pass it on to him when you're finished." Over time, you'll ask Jorge to say these words for himself.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Make sure that the toy is indeed passed on to the waiting child. Children will be much more willing to wait for a turn knowing that the plan will be followed through.

5. Refrain from judgmental statements such as, "Don't be selfish" or "That's not nice," when children respond with, "No, he can't have a turn!" Try these tools instead (remember to speak at eye level):

  • Empathy. "You're having a fun time with that and don't want to give it up."
  • Curiosity questions. "Are you worried you won't get another turn with it?"
  • Kind and Firm statements. "This is a toy you agreed to let others play with."
  • Go to solution. "Let's work out a plan. How much longer would you like to play with it? 3 or 5 minutes? Should we set a timer for each turn?"

IMPORTANT NOTE: While negotiating, an adult may need to hold the toy in question until an agreeable solution is reached. Children will be much more willing to negotiate if neither one of them has the toy in hand.

  • Family Meetings. Use family meetings to solve ongoing conflicts about sharing toys between siblings or friends. Put toys away until win/win solutions are reached by the family.

6. Acknowledge and appreciate the times you notice acts of sharing, asking for turns, and patient waiting. "I noticed you gave her some of your drink. You're learning to share." "I appreciate you talking to your brother about your turn instead of grabbing." "Look,your friend is sharing with you because you shared with her!"

7. Find a protected place for older siblings to play that is out of reach from the little fingers of younger siblings.

8. Set an example of the behavior you'd like to see. "I'd like to share this with you, do you want some?" "When I'm done, would you like a turn?" "This item is very important to me; 

Going Deeper

Sharing brings up the larger topic of boundaries. Learning to set guiltless boundaries and also to honor the boundaries of others' are two vital skills for healthy human interaction. Children who grow up told not to be selfish and to think of others first, may become adults who do not express their needs or feelings. Overindulged children who are not made aware of their impact on others, may become insensitive adults who push people away with their behavior. The goal is to work toward being skilled at both aspects of boundaries. Practicing setting and honoring boundaries and modeling this to your child are your most powerful teaching tools.

Additionally, you can:

  • Set clear expectations about how you want an item used and returned. If these guidelines are not followed, remove the opportunity to borrow your things. At some point, allow your child to try again.
  • Use family meetings for kids to discuss their feelings about sharing. Ask everyone to talk about when they've shared something and how it made them feel.
  • Teach that sharing includes sharing time, feelings, and ideas. Invite children to share sad and happy moments from their day. Share your sad and happy moments.
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