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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

June 8, 2017
You ARE going, right?!

Suki-Half-empty Nest Syndrome

Honey Chamomile Popsicles

A Culture of Disrespect?

Places to Go!
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  You ARE going, right?!

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(0 June 2017) Seymour_DadSonOtter.jpgYou ARE going to visit Seymour Marine Center TODAY on World Oceans Day, right?! "World Oceans Day is the perfect time to learn how to protect the 71 percent of our planet that's blue. Come get empowered to make a lasting difference for the future. Take the "Better Bag Challenge" and decorate/make a reusable tote bag."

(0 June 2017) HoneyCamomilePopsicle.jpgWhen they're still all revved up, showing no loss of energy and you're ready for some quiet, down time, have a honey camomile popsicle ready! "Chamomile not only adds beauty to our lives, but it also has healing benefits. It acts as an anti-inflammatory, aids in digestion, and promotes relaxation --  Honey is antibacterial, anti-fungal, and soothes a sore throat." VanillaAndBean.com

Is disrespect a consequence of our addictive, absorbing high tech era, "soft, friendly" parenting, adults behaving rudely as reported in many news stories or a combination of all?  Adults are perplexed and disgusted with the great number of reports of college students exercizing their "free speech rights" in order to prevent others from exercizing their free speech rights and demanding segregated spaces for "their own kind." Have we not spent the last 50+ years increasing awareness and practice of respect for all races, ethnicities, national origin, religion et.al.? A physician offers his opinion. Here in Santa Cruz County where enlightened and conscientious parenting is the norm, we are raising children to become adults.

The seemingly sudden arrival of the time for our children to leave the family nest and venture forth into the world is becoming real for many of us. We let go, and must trust in their abilities to meet new worlds, as Suki so poignantly writes about. If we've been doing it right, we've gone through a series of "letting goes." Scary? Two organizations offer helpful parenting workshops. Sending children to summer camps offers parents practice in letting go.

(2 Buttons) Button_Weekend.jpgPlease share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Have a great weekend with the family,  Parmalee

 
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  Suki-Half-empty Nest Syndrome

I remember when my kids were little and I would talk to parents of teens. They always seemed so... calm? resigned? detached? Parenting little ones was a full commitment, physically, intellectually, emotionally. But clearly parenting teens was something different.

If you have little ones and you're reading this, you might think that I seem, well, calm... resigned... detached. It's true, part of having kids who are leaving the nest, as my older one is in a week (gak!), is a process of letting go. And as a friend pointed out to me the other day, I am really letting go. My son is jetting off to the Middle East to study Arabic and regional history and politics.

This is not at all like sending him off to sleep-away camp.

But sending our kids out into the world is also the culmination of the biggest commitment we can make in our lives: to bring a person into this world that we will nurture and do our best to raise into a functional adult of the kind that we want to be around. I know some people who have had to let go of their precocious ones early, and some people whose teens morphed into mid-20s adults before they were really "out of the nest." But eventually, this ending, which is really a beginning, will come about. Our newly adult children will go off to college to study with teachers we will never meet or get a job working for people we don't know. They will hang out with friends whose parents don't see us at PTA meetings. They will make decisions without even bothering to text us about them.

And it will be good.

I know that I'm not losing anything, and I also know that the job of parenting is never quite over. But I do know that when he steps onto that jet, even though he'll be back for a few weeks before college, and then he'll probably be home for holidays, this is the end of something.

And it's been great. I will never forget the way the pre-mom me laughed off the phrase "the hardest job I've ever had," which so many parents echo. Before I had children, I simply had no idea what this was all about.

But now that I am sending one off into the world, I can tell those of you who are in the thick of it-sometimes wondering whether your sanity, your physical health, or your marriage will survive it-that parenting is truly the hardest job.

And truly the most rewarding. The imperfect, complex, still-developing humans that we send out into the world are the result of our hard work. What they do with their lives is their responsibility, but no matter what ends up happening, we parents can know that we did our best with what we had.

My favorite lil' guy photo.

Suki Wessling is a local parent of two who writes fiction and nonfiction about reading, writing, parenting, education, and homeschooling. More about Suki.

 

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  Honey Chamomile Popsicles

(0 June 2017) Honey-Chamomile-Popsicles-3.jpgRefreshing and soothing, these Honey Chamomile popsicles are quick and easy to make using fresh or dried chamomile.

Prep Time 10 minutes ~ Total Time 10 minutes ~ Servings 10 Popsicles ~ Author Traci York Vanilla And Bean

  • 3 C Water 590g
  • 1/3 C Raw Local Honey, 104g
  • 4 Tea Bags of Chamomile Tea or 1/4 C + 1 Tbs (6g) Fresh Chamomile Flowers, 6g

In a small saucepot bring water to just under a boil. Remove from heat and stir in honey. Add tea bags or flowers, place lid on pot and steep for 10 minutes. Strain if using fresh flowers. Fill popsicle molds, leaving about an 1/8" (3mm) head room at the top.Wipe the top of the mould dry, place lid on popsicles and insert the popsicle sticks.

Freeze overnight or at least eight hours.

To release the pops, turn the mold on its side and run water over the the mold on both sides. Pry the lid off, wedging a fork in between the lid and mold, especially if you forgot to dry the top of the mold off before freezing. Gently wiggle the popsicle stick to remove the popsicle... be careful not to break the stick.

Store the popsicles in a lidded container or freezer bag layering the popsicles between parchment paper. Store for up to 1 week if they last that long.

 

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  A Culture of Disrespect?

Physician: American Children "Immersed in a Culture of Disrespect'

Let's face it. Almost every child has likely had some type of meltdown in public, causing great embarrassment to both the child's parent and to other witnesses in the vicinity. But while such disrespectful behavior is embarrassing at age two, it's downright horrifying the older a child gets.

Dr. Leonard Sax recently experienced one of these horrifying displays of disrespect in his medical practice. He describes the scenario in a recent edition of The Wall Street Journal:

"Kyle was absorbed in a videogame on his cellphone, so I asked his mom, "How long has Kyle had a stomach ache?' Mom said, "I'm thinking it's been about two days.' Then Kyle replied, "Shut up, mom. You don't know what you're talking about.' And he gave a snorty laugh, without looking up from his videogame. Kyle is 10 years old."

Unfortunately, such behavior is no longer an anomaly, as Dr. Sax goes on to explain:

"I have been a physician for 29 years. This sort of language and behavior from a 10-year-old was very rare in the 1980s and 1990s. It would have been unusual a decade ago. It is common today. America's children are immersed in a culture of disrespect: for parents, teachers, and one another. They learn it from television, even on the Disney Channel, where parents are portrayed as clueless, out-of-touch or absent. They learn it from celebrities or the Internet. They learn it from social media. They teach it to one another. They wear T-shirts emblazoned with slogans like "I'm not shy. I just don't like you.'"

But while disrespectful children have become the norm, Dr. Sax has found that respectful, obedient children still exist out there, largely because there are still a few parents who practice authoritative parenting. And according to Dr. Sax, it's not too late for parents to change course and start instilling respect in their children. His recommendations for doing so are summarized in the following three points:

1. Put the family before the child.

"Prioritize the family. The family meal at home is more important than piling on after-school extracurricular activities. Instead of boosting self-esteem, teach humility."

2. Remove distractions.

"[N]o screens when you are with your child. Put your cellphone away. No electronic devices at the dinner table. Teach the art of face-to-face conversation."

3. Draw a line in the sand, and don't look back.

"If you're going to make a change, don't be subtle. New Year's Day is as good a time as any to sit down with your children and explain that there are going to be some changes in this household: changes in how we talk, in how we behave, in how we treat one another."

Americans have tried the kinder, gentler, let-me-be-your-friend approach to parenting for the last several decades. If the behavior problems in schools and the heightened level of sensitivity on college campuses are any indication, this parenting approach hasn't produced the positive outcomes we were hoping for. Is it time for today's parents to reverse course and begin teaching their children to respect others first instead of their own little selves?

 

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  Places to Go!

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Mount Madonna PreK--12, 39th Annual Ramayana

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 Christmas Eve Service
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  Christmas Eve Service
Hope Church
Date: 12/24/2017 at 5:00pm
Details: Join us this Christmas Eve for a festive, fun-filled, candlelight, family service with live music, and an inspirational message
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Adventure Sports Youth Scuba
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  Adventure Sports Youth Scuba
Adventure Sports Unlimited Adventure Travel
Date: Every Fri (Aug 4-Aug 25)
Details: Love the water? Scuba for kids!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 458-3648 view all details >>
     
Holiday Movies
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  Holiday Movies
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every day (Dec 14-Jan 7)
Details: Free Christmas and Hanukkah movies
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 423-5590 view all details >>
     
Smart Summer Program
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  Smart Summer Program
Boys and Girls Club of Santa Cruz
Date: Every day (May 25-Jun 11)
Ages: 6-18
Details: 'Smart Summer Program' at Boys & Girls Clubs of Santa Cruz County
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 423-3138 view all details >>
     
Wednesday Night Twilight Concerts
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  Wednesday Night Twilight Concerts
Capitola Village
Date: Every Wed (Jun 7-Aug 30) from 6:00pm to 8:00pm
Details: Twilight Concerts serves up live music on the beach on Wednesday evenings from 6 to 8 p.m. Bring a blanket or chair and relax.
City: Capitola Village view all details >>
     
Hawks and Sparrows and Egrets
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  Hawks and Sparrows and Egrets
Elkhorn Slough
Date: 06/10/2017 from 7:30am to 11:30am
Details: Hawks and Sparrows and Egrets, oh my!
City: Watsonville Phone: (831) 728-2822 view all details >>
     
"STEM" Summer Camps
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  "STEM" Summer Camps
Learn to Discover
Date: Every Mon, Tues, Wed, Th and Fri (Jun 12-Aug 11)
Ages: 6-18
Details: Summer Camps - virtual reality, robotics, LEGO building, digital art, programming and much more...
Special Instructions: Camps in Aptos, Santa Cruz & Watsonville
view all details >>
     
39th annual "Ramayana!"
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  39th annual "Ramayana!"
Mount Madonna School
Date: Every day (Jun 9-Jun 11)
Ages: all
Details: A story of love, adventure, separation and an eventual joyous reunion, in an ancient allegory of the battle of good and evil
City: San Jose Phone: (408) 847-2717 view all details >>
     
You ARE going, right?!
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  You ARE going, right?!
Date:
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Japanese Cultural Fair
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  Japanese Cultural Fair
Japanese Cultural Fair
Date: 06/10/2017 from 11:00am to 6:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Explore traditional and contemporary Japanese culture
Special Instructions: Japanese Theme
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 462-4589 view all details >>
     
You ARE going, right?!
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  You ARE going, right?!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Water Shred
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  Water Shred
Coastal Watershed
Date: 06/10/2017 from 11:00am to 4:00pm
Details: Free demo rides, and enjoy live music, food and even a rock climbing wall.
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Teens, 2-hour Positive Discipline Parenting Workshop
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  Teens, 2-hour Positive Discipline Parenting Workshop
Positive Discipline Community Resources
Date: 06/10/2017 from 10:00am to 12:00pm
Ages: adults
Details: Teens -- 2-hour Positive Discipline parenting workshop
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 476-7284 view all details >>
     
"A Touch of Africa in Santa Cruz"
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  "A Touch of Africa in Santa Cruz"
Da African Villaage
Date: Every day (Jun 15-Jun 18)
Details: Workshops, performances, food, arts & crafts, educational lectures and panel discussions.
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (424) 703-0784 view all details >>
     
     
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