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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

June 4, 2015


Best Graduation Speeches Ever!

Santa Cruz County Parks & Rec Summer Programs!
Positive Discipline: Routines

Ask Nicole: Tips for Single Parents and Caregivers

Featured Event
Japanese Cultural Fair
Ask Nicole: Tips for Single Parents and Caregivers
Click to view our Business Directory
 

(AAA_Feb 2015) Graduates_Kirby.jpgCongratulations and best wishes for 2015 graduates and especially parents! While graduates are experiencing a mixture of hope, sadness at leaving friends, excitement and even a little apprehension about the future, parents are undergoing their own memories, the bitter sweetness of letting go, and fervently hoping that they have prepared their children well for the next level of independence.

Graduation speakers attempt to inspire students, yet I suspect it is the parents and grandparents with their years of life experience and wisdom who understand the messages. Just for the fun of it, we're including links to some of the best ever, in my opinion, graduation speeches.  I've listened to snatches and want to read all of them.

We think of summer as a time for relaxing from the pressures of school and work routines.  It's vacation, fun, light clothing and outdoors time.  However, this may just be the best time to choose and practice a new routine or one that needs polishing up.  PDRC has some great suggestions to make homes run more smoothly and everyone happier. My suggestion: pick one, only one, and turn it into a routine!

Parenting Support ~ Parks ~ Museums ~ A-Z Camps  ~ The Weekend

Thank you for your interest in our newsletter and for sending many new families our way. Please, drop us a line anytime and recommend us to a friend

Have a great weekend with family and friends, Parmalee

photo: Kirby Graduates

 

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  Best Graduation Speeches Ever!

From a Bob Edwards weekend radio show...

(AAA_Feb 2015) Book_CongratulationsGeorgeSaunders.jpgWith graduation season winding down, Bob looks at commencement speeches that have become subjects in their own right.  First, Bob talks with best-selling writer George Saunders about his book, Congratulations, By the Way: Some Thoughts on Kindness.  It's an expanded version of the address Saunders gave in 2013 at Syracuse University.

"Three months after George Saunders gave a graduation address at Syracuse University, a transcript of that speech was posted on the website of The New York Times, where its simple, uplifting message struck a deep chord. Within days, it had been shared more than one million times. Why? Because Saunders's words tap into a desire in all of us to lead kinder, more fulfilling lives. Powerful, funny, and wise, Congratulations, by the way is an inspiring message from one of today's most influential and original writers."

(AAA_Feb 2015) Book_YouAreNotSpecial.jpgThen, Bob talks with Wellesley High School English teacher David McCullough Jr., son of the famous historian, about his 2012 commencement speech.  McCullough expanded it into a new book called You Are Not Special: ... and Other Encouragements.

"David McCullough, Jr.'s now iconic high school commencement address was a tonic for children, parents, and educators alike. With wit and a perspective earned from raising four children and teaching high school students for nearly thirty years, McCullough expands on his speech, shares his insights into the lives of today's children, and advocates for a life of passionate engagement."

We conclude our look at notable commencement addresses with audio of writer David Foster Wallace's 2005 speech at Kenyon College, which has been called the best commencement address ever.  It might have been all but forgotten, but after Wallace's death in 2008, the text surfaced on the internet. It was later published as a book, called This is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life.  Listen on YouTube.

"Only once did David Foster Wallace give a public talk on his views on life, during a commencement address given in 2005 at Kenyon College. The speech is reprinted for the first time in book form in THIS IS WATER. How does one keep from going through their comfortable, prosperous adult life unconsciously? How do we get ourselves out of the foreground of our thoughts and achieve compassion? The speech captures Wallace's electric intellect as well as his grace in attention to others. After his death, it became a treasured piece of writing reprinted in The Wall Street Journal and the London Times, commented on endlessly in blogs, and emailed from friend to friend.

Writing with his one-of-a-kind blend of causal humor, exacting intellect, and practical philosophy, David Foster Wallace probes the challenges of daily living and offers advice that renews us with every reading."

 

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  Santa Cruz County Parks & Rec Summer Programs!
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  Positive Discipline: Routines

Positive Discipline Community Resources

Establishing routines is key to making a chaotic home life turn into a smoother running household where all family members contribute. Routines are one of the most powerful forms of limit setting parents can use. Getting healthy routines established early on in children's lives set them up for a healthy adult life style.

Here is a list of possible ideas. Know your family and together create what works for you and your children.

(AAA_Feb 2015) DailyRoutines300.jpgDinner routine: Rotate tasks weekly (assist with meal prep, set table, clear table, load dishwasher, etc.). At mealtime, make conversation a routine. Perhaps share something that went well that day, or a mistake made and a lesson learned.

Household chore routine: Pick a time to clean each week. Make a list of chores to be done and allow individuals to choose tasks from the list. Work together all at once to create a sense of team effort. Play upbeat music while you clean; rotate who picks the music.

Bedtime routine: At a consistent time each night, clean up toys, move onto bath time, play a cooperative teeth brushing game (child brushes your teeth and you brush hers), let child pick one or two books depending on how much time is left before lights out, then share with each other something that made you both sad and happy that day, and end with a back rub.

For the full article, Tips for success with routines and Key "How to" steps>>>>>

Positive Discipline Community Resources (PDCR) is a social change nonprofit that supports parents, professionals and community members in creating healthy relationships with children.  For information on cparent workshops go here.  To download Routines article go here.

 

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  Ask Nicole: Tips for Single Parents and Caregivers

By Nicole M. Young, MSW

I love my kids. I repeat, I love my kids. And yet, raising them to be kind, confident, capable individuals who will be ready for adulthood (or at least get to school on time) is exhausting. I can't imagine trying to raise them on my own, but I know there are many single-parent families who are raising children successfully. So this article is dedicated to all the moms, dads, grandparents, foster parents, and other caregivers who are raising children on their own.

This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org.

Dear Nicole,

My wife and I recently divorced. We have two boys, 3 and 5 years old, who are taking it hard. When they're with me, they want to be with their mom. When they're with her, they want to be with me. They're clingy and get mad easily, which is not how they usually are. I work full-time and feel guilty when I lose my patience quickly or I'm too tired to play with them. What suggestions do you have for a newly-single dad?

Steve

Dear Steve,

I'm glad you asked this question - it means you're tuned in to your children's feelings and needs. While your children may be too young to understand the reasons for the divorce, they are old enough to have feelings about the changes in your family. They might feel sad, scared, angry, or worried about what else will change, and their feelings may be expressed as tantrums, whining, clinginess, defiance, or other challenging behaviors. The most important parenting task right now is to create a sense of safety and security for your boys, as this will help ease their transition to a new family life. Here are some tips to try>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

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  Featured Event

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June

in the Parks

A-Z Camps

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(AA Camp 2015) CampGateway_Camp_2015.jpg

A note from

Megan Eldredge

Director of Camp Gateway

We offer some great classes!

Ranch Builders - takes place on a farm!

French

Spanish

Nature Arts

Performing Arts for Tiny Hearts (K-2)

Chess

Mythbusters

Piano

Camp Gateway

 

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 Japanese Cultural Fair
Japanese Cultural Fair
Japanese Cultural Fair
Explore traditional and contemporary Japanese culture
Date: 06/06/2015 from 11:00am to 6:00pm
Ages: All ages Admission Fees: None
Special Instructions: Japanese Theme

Japanese Cultural Fair celebrates its annual fair.

(AAA_Feb 2015) Taiko-Drummers.jpgMission Plaza overflows with the celebration of Japanese music, traditional dance, food and crafts at this popular annual festival. Powerful drummers, the San Francisco Taiko Dojo, thrill the audience, along with storytellers, martial arts demonstrations and healing arts vendors. Sushi, noodles and green tea ice cream are always favorites.

Free shuttle service between County Building parking lot and Mission Plaza. Two shuttle buses are running every 15 minutes and their stops are: County Building(Ocean & Water St.), Civic Auditorium (Church St.), Mission Plaza Park


Location: Mission Plaza Park, 103 Emmett St, Santa Cruz Map
Phone: (831) 462-4589 •website Santa Cruz 

Free Pair of Goggles for Swim Session signup
click to view website
  Free Pair of Goggles for Swim Session signup
Seahorse Swim School
Date: Every day (Aug 8-Sep 10)
Details: Sign up for our group lessons, private lessons or custom class and get a FREE pair of goggles when you mention Santa Cruz Parent
Phone: (831) 476-7946 view all details >>
     
Parent Support Group: For Parents of Teens
click to view website
  Parent Support Group: For Parents of Teens
Positive Discipline Community Resources
Date: The last Wed of every month from 6:30pm to 8:00pm
Details: Parent Support Group: For Parents of Teens Last Wednesday of every month from 6:30 - 8:00pm -
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Bonny Doon Craft Fair
click to view website
  Bonny Doon Craft Fair
Bonny Doon Church
Date: 11/11/2017 from 1:00pm to 6:00pm
Details: FREE Fun for the Entire Family!! Chile tsting, bake sale and crafts for sale...
City: Bonny Doon view all details >>
     
Best Ever!
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  Best Ever!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Papa Doo Run Run
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  Papa Doo Run Run
Beach Boardwalk
Date: 09/01/2017
Details: Last free Friday night concert of the summer
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 423-5590 view all details >>
     
39th annual "Ramayana!"
click to view website
  39th annual "Ramayana!"
Mount Madonna School
Date: Every day (Jun 9-Jun 11)
Ages: all
Details: A story of love, adventure, separation and an eventual joyous reunion, in an ancient allegory of the battle of good and evil
City: San Jose Phone: (408) 847-2717 view all details >>
     
ADHD Support
click to view website
  ADHD Support
CHADD, Monterey/SantaCruz
Date: 03/23/2016 from 6:30pm to 8:30pm
Details: Support for adults with ADHD
City: Aptos Phone: 831-818-9619 view all details >>
     
Japanese Cultural Fair
click to view website
  Japanese Cultural Fair
Japanese Cultural Fair
Date: 06/10/2017 from 11:00am to 6:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Explore traditional and contemporary Japanese culture
Special Instructions: Japanese Theme
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 462-4589 view all details >>
     
Best Ever!
click to view website
  Best Ever!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Best Ever!
click to view website
  Best Ever!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Best Ever!
click to view website
  Best Ever!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Best Ever!
click to view website
  Best Ever!
Date:
view all details >>
     
     
  Ask Nicole: Tips for Single Parents and Caregivers

Give brief and frequent quality time. This is one of the simplest and most powerful parenting strategies. Play or do an activity together, or just stop and listen when your children want to show or tell you something - even if it's only for one minute. Giving them positive attention frequently will reassure them that you notice and love them, and will be there when they need you.

Create routines. A predictable schedule for meals, bedtime, and school or child care helps your children know what to expect, which creates that sense of safety and security they need to adjust to their new family life. As a single parent, your daily routines might be different than they were when you were part of a 2-parent household, and they might even be different from their routines when they're with their mom. The key is to help your children understand what to expect when they're with you. When possible, involve them in creating their daily routines so they have a sense of control during this time of transition and uncertainty.

Create family rules. Single parents might be tempted to ease up on the rules because they feel guilty or worry about how the divorce or separation is affecting their kids. Or, they feel too tired and overwhelmed to follow through on the rules and deal with any pushback. However, the absence of clear, simple rules often makes kids feel anxious that the adults in their lives are not really "in control," which can lead to challenging behaviors.

Involve your boys in creating a few rules for your home - e.g. "Be kind to each other, Help with chores, Watch up to 30 minutes of TV per day." Write them down or draw pictures, then post them in a place where you can all see and remember them.

Take care of yourself. Going through a divorce, redefining family life, and adjusting to single parenthood can be very stressful. It's important to find ways to "refuel your tank" physically and emotionally so that you can continue to be available for your children. Whether it's a physical activity, a hobby, spending time with friends or family, or joining a support group for single parents, the steps you take to look after yourself will benefit your children, too.

Final Thoughts: Adjusting to single parenthood and changes in family dynamics after a divorce or separation takes time, and there are likely to be rough moments along the way. But the transition can be easier if you set realistic expectations for yourself and your children, be kind to yourself when you get tired and lose patience, and remember it's ok to ask for (and accept) help from others.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 11 and 15, who also manages Santa Cruz County's Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, the world's leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. For more information, including classes and one-on-one meetings to help parents handle everyday parenting challenges, visit http://triplep.first5scc.org, www.facebook.com/triplepscc or www.youtube.com/triplepsantacruzco. To find a Triple P class or practitioner, contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org.

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