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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

June 20, 2019
Summer!
Come help us kick off summer!

Moms Of Teens Can Benefit From Social Support...

Suki: On choosing a career

Kim Collins Beat Breast Cancer

Fun Events!
Moms Of Teens continued...
Click to view our Business Directory
  Summer!

(0 A June 2019) Summer22.jpgWelcome Summer!

When you read Suki's essay, Choosing A Career, consider the connection with choosing summer camps, for summer camp opportunities offer so many varied experiences that you may just be providing the spark to a lifelong career, avocation or hobby. If the camp your child is currently attending turns out to not be the right choice, take another look at all the options.

(0 A June 2019) 4thJuly-Celebrations.jpgI like the Moms of Teens article. It gives links to even more help. We have local support for parents of teens.

Please share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Have a wonderful weekend with family and friends!  Parmalee

  Come help us kick off summer!

Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Come help us kick off summer with music, art and live animals!
Date: 06/22/2019 from 11:00am to 3:00pm
Ages: All Admission Fees: Free museum entry

(0 A June 2019) SummerKickOff2.jpgEnjoy free admission to the Museum and outdoor festivities! Celebrate and learn with live animals from Wildlife Education & Rehabilitation Center and Sky Patrol, live music from the Banana Slug String Band, food trucks, nature crafts, science activities, and more (program below)! It promises to be a day of nature-filled family fun - both out in the sunshine and within our Museum galleries.

Program Schedule

  • 11 a.m. - 3 p.m.  |  Play, create, and explore with our family fair of organizations listed below! Enjoy free admission to the Museum. Explore Museum collections, make sun prints, and talk rocks with our "Geology Gents."
  • 11:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.  |  Live music from the Banana Slug String Band
  • 1-2 p.m.  Live owl presentation with Sky Patrol
  • 2-2:30 p.m. | Join Nancy and Chris for sing-alongs and storytime inside the Museum
  • 2-3 p.m.  |  This wonderful live animal program presented by Wildlife Education and Rehabilitation Center introduces students to the similarities and differences between mammals, birds and reptiles. Characteristics of each type of animal are examined through hands-on materials.
  • Location: Tyrell Park, 1305 E. Cliff Dr, Santa Cruz

 

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  Moms Of Teens Can Benefit From Social Support...

...Just Like New Moms

by Juli Fraga for KQED

(0 A June 2019) mom-support.jpgRaising children is a task that requires extensive "on-the-job" training, which is why many women rely on new moms groups for parenting support and guidance. Often, however, as the kids get older, the mothers' friendships fall by the wayside.

Now, new research indicates that social support isn't just valuable for mothers of young children, it's beneficial for moms of teens, too.

The study, published this spring in the journal Family Process, suggests that these support networks may help mothers develop closer relationships with their teens.

"Having someone to talk to about your children is essential for maintaining positive parent-child relationships," says Melissa Lippold, an assistant professor of social work at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and lead author of the study. "However, this type of social support impacts parenting behaviors for mothers and fathers differently."

The study includes data from 636 rural, two-parent families who completed a series of questionnaires and in-person interviews with the researchers. They found that for moms only, social support plays a significant role in how they parent their teens, especially when they feel overwhelmed and out of control in their lives.

"When these women lean on others, such as friends and co-workers, they are more likely to maintain warm relationships with their kids," says Lippold. "I think mothers are more socialized than fathers to seek emotional support from relationships when they struggle. It's possible that when moms confide in others, they feel calmer, which helps them maintain closeness with their children."

While the early years of parenting are physically demanding, the teen years can be emotionally taxing. Mothers often find themselves in a tug-of-war, because as children start letting go, they want to hold on. Teens often believe they're more capable of making adult-like decisions than they actually are, and often aren't keen when parents point out their limitations. Scroll way down for details>>>>>

 

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  Suki: On choosing a career

(0 A June 2019) Suki2019.jpgby Suki Wessling, Chatoyant

When I was a child, I was really good at math, but I loved books and writing. I will never forget my disappointment when everyone at my elementary school took an assessment that was supposed to predict good career choices.

The test said I was supposed to be a mathematician. My dad, I knew, thought I should be a scientist like him.

But I loved books, and I wanted to be a writer.

Read more>>>>

Suki is a local mom who writes, sings, teaches and with her husband, parents two children. You can find more about Suki  here.

 

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  Kim Collins Beat Breast Cancer

(0 A June 2019) KimandScott2.jpgKim Collins beat breast cancer using only holistic methods. She has shared her journey in print and on her Facebook Own Your Ohm Health page. Kim and her husband Scott Collins, The Smoking Flowers musical duo who live in Nashville, have a new album out called Snowball Out of Hell, which poignantly touches upon theirshared battle with cancer. Learn more in the recently review by American Highways.

Kim and Scott share a musical touring life, occasionally reaching California and overseas venues and are popular performing in Nashville hot spots with a local fan base of both musicians and "regular" folks. They are "real people" whose kindness to other musicians I have witnessed. If you know anyone struggling with breast cancer, Kim's story is inspiring.

If you think you are eating healthfully, compare how you eat with Kim's food regimen.

 

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  Fun Events!

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JUNE

CALENDAR

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Seriously, I would as soon have walls of children's art as a Monet, Picasso, Wyeth...

Mermaid Week at The Art Factory!

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What happens next?

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Friday Night Bands at the Beach
click to view website
  Friday Night Bands at the Beach
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every Fri (Jun 14-Aug 30)
Details: Bring the family and your blanket or low back chair and join us for these classic bands!
Special Instructions:
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
PopUp Picnics in the Park
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  PopUp Picnics in the Park
Friends of Santa Cruz State Parks
Date: Every Th (Jun 13-Aug 16) from 11:30am to 1:30pm
Ages: All
Details: Enjoy tacos on the terrazza!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 429-1840 view all details >>
     
Photography Walk
click to view website
  Photography Walk
Arboretum
Date: 06/22/2019 from 4:30pm to 6:00pm
Ages: All
Details: In partnership with naturalist and photographer Bill Bishoff, the UCSC Arboretum & Botanic Garden will be offering two different
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 427-2998 view all details >>
     
Art & Music at the Beach
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  Art & Music at the Beach
Capitola Art & Cultural Commission
Date: Every Su (Jun 23-Aug 18) from 11:00am to 5:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Music, Art, the Beach... come visit
City: Capitola Village view all details >>
     
Welcome Summer!
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  Welcome Summer!
Date:
view all details >>
     
Santiago the Magician
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  Santiago the Magician
Library Boulder Creek
Date: 06/19/2019 from 4:00pm to 5:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Santiago the Magician brings together the beauty of historical wizardry and modern day conjuring in an undeniable mix that will
City: Boulder Creek view all details >>
     
Free Pumpkin Carving
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  Free Pumpkin Carving
Library Boulder Creek
Date: 10/26/2019 from 2:00pm to 4:00pm
Ages: all
Details: Join the Friends of Boulder Creek Library for a Free Pumpkin Carving Event!
Special Instructions: Limited amount of Pumpkins
City: Boulder Creek view all details >>
     
Old-Time Family Barn Dance
click to view website
  Old-Time Family Barn Dance
Live Oak Grange
Date: The 4th Fri of every month at 7:00pm
Ages: 7+
Details: Come dance with us! Live music * easy to learn * high energy * great community!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Free Family Movie Night
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  Free Family Movie Night
Santa Cruz County Parks
Date: 08/16/2019 from 8:45pm to 11:45pm
Details: A series of free outdoor movie events Incredibles 2
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
POP-UP CAMPFIRE!
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  POP-UP CAMPFIRE!
State Park Big Basin
Date: Every Fri (Jun 14-Aug 16) at 7:00pm
Details: An evening of song and story + marshmellows
City: Boulder Creek view all details >>
     
Junior Rangers - History
click to view website
  Junior Rangers - History
State Park Mission
Date: Every Fri (Aug 1-Aug 15) from 11:00am to 12:15pm
Ages: 7-12
Details: Learn about the major products and culture of early mission life
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831.425-5849 view all details >>
     
Annual Pleasure Point Street Fair
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  Annual Pleasure Point Street Fair
Pleasure Point Business Association
Date: 06/22/2019 from 11:00am to 5:00pm
Details: Free, blockbuster entertainment for families!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 464-7748 view all details >>
     
Westside Summer Festival
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  Westside Summer Festival
Santa Cruz Mountains Makers' Market
Date: 06/23/2019 from 11:00am to 6:00pm
Details: Food and artistin support of Shared Adventures!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Movies at the Beach
click to view website
  Movies at the Beach
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every Wed and Th (Jun 19-Aug 14) at 5:00pm
Details: Bring the family and your blanket or low back chair and join us!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Food Truck Summer Series
click to view website
  Food Truck Summer Series
Brothers Promotions
Date: The 3rd Fri of every month (Jun 21-Aug 17) at 5:30pm
Ages: All
Details: Each month will showcase local artisans, dance troupes, local bands and musicians. This will be a family friendly event with fun
Special Instructions: North end of Pacific Avenue between Locust and Water
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Woodies on the Wharf
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  Woodies on the Wharf
City of Santa Cruz
Date: Every day (Jun 21-Jun 23) from 10:00am to 4:00pm
Details: More than 200 stylish, pre-1952 wood-bodied cars. Plus music, woodie goodies, prize drawings and a parade!
Special Instructions: Saturday on the Wharf!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831-420-5273 view all details >>
     
     
  Moms Of Teens continued...

Julie Burton, 50, a mother of four children in Minnetonka, Minn., grappled to raise her two eldest, now ages 22 and 20.

"Journeying through the teen years with my older two children felt like riding a road bike down a rocky terrain," she says. "I often felt ill-equipped to cope with their moodiness and requests for greater autonomy. As hard as we tried, my husband and I were not always on the same page about how much freedom to give our kids."

Jodi J. De Luca, a clinical psychologist in Erie, Colo., believes that mothers and fathers transition through the teen years differently.

"Mothers often fear rejection from their kids, which can make setting limits challenging," she says. "As moms, we want respect from our children, but we also strive to please them. This combination is very tricky and can trigger feelings of insecurity. Fathers don't always understand how emotional this can be."

De Luca thinks we need more open conversations, normalizing the hardships that arise during the adolescent part of the parenting cycle.

"Our culture expects new moms to struggle, but we forget that these stressors don't disappear as children grow older. Too often we see motherhood as a linear process when it's not," she says.

While having trustworthy friends to talk with can help, finding these networks can be tricky. During early motherhood, women disclose their parenting problems with ease, but it's often harder to discuss the difficulties of raising teens.

During her kids' teenage years, Burton felt even more isolated than she did when they were younger. Longing to connect with other moms and curious about their parenting trials, she interviewed 400 mothers, summarizing their stories in her book, The Self-Care Solution: A Modern Mother's Must-Have Guide to Health and Well-Being.

Through the interviews, Burton learned personal details about other moms' conflicts with helicopter parenting, prioritizing self-care and boundary setting. Women shared how they scrutinized their own parenting decisions, worrying that the wrong choices might scar their children for life.

"I also found that many moms feel ashamed to talk about their 'imperfect' adolescents because they assume that other parents have perfect kids," she says.

When Cindy Goodman, 52, a mother of three in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., and Raquel Alderman, 49, a mother of two in Coral Springs, Fla., were faced with their children hitting the teen years, they found minimal resources to help them through the transition.

"There are so many mommy blogs and parenting magazines for parents of young children, but not as much information for mothers of teens," says Goodman.

So Goodman and Alderman started their own blog, "Raising Teens," with the aim of expanding their support network and becoming "'virtual girlfriends' that other women could learn from, too," says Goodman.

The blog addresses topics such as smartphone addiction, curfew setting and cyberbullying, and Goodman and Alderman invite readers to share in their parenting challenges along with their triumphs.

"We receive a lot of feedback from parents and, surprisingly, from teens, too. They chime in, sharing their feelings about moms who snoop and their reasons for sneaking out of the house," she says.

Burton advises mothers of teens to develop closer relationships by trying new activities, such as community volunteering, joining a local exercise class or connecting with other moms online. She offers writing classes in her community where women can gather and share their narratives in a safe and supportive space.

"Finding supportive networks where mothers feel safe to talk about their parenting concerns is crucial," says Lippold, the study's author. "Teens who have close relationships with their parents are more likely to ask them for advice and seek comfort from them when they're in stressful situations."

Juli Fraga is a psychologist and writer in San Francisco. You can find her on Twitter @dr_fraga.

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