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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

July 26, 2018
Art Inspiration

Festival of the Book

Elkorn Slough Art

The Importance of Family Meetings
Fun Events!
Family Meeting Guidelines
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  Art Inspiration

(0 A July 2018) Capitola_CharlesPrentiss.jpgPlaces to see art depicting iconic local scenes abound in our county. We bring you a few. Paintings of Elkhorn Slough can be seen at Pacific Grove Museum of Natural History.  An exhibit of California Landscape Painters is ongoing at Santa Cruz Art League. Inspire your young artists!

Do you love cooking with garlic or  even better eating spicy, garlicky food? The annual Gilroy Garlic Festival is this weekend. I like Gourmet Alley where you can taste Calamari, Scampi, Pepper Steak Sandwiches, Italian Sausage, Sandwiches, Pasta con Pesto, Stuffed Mushrooms, Marinated Mushrooms, Garlic Bread, Garlic Fries, Zesty Fried Garlic Calamari and Gilroy Garlic Shrimp.

So you're ready to start having Family Meetings? Positive Discipline Community Resources offers guidelines for success. My thoughts: "Have the first few while things are going well."

Enjoy the weekend with the family! Parmalee

Capitola View from Bay Avenue by Charles Prentiss won First Place in the 88th Annual Statewide CA Landscape Exhibition! This Exhibition is still open until August 5th.

 

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  Festival of the Book

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  Elkorn Slough Art

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Elkhorn Slough Art is on display at Pacific Grove Museum of Natural History!

 

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  The Importance of Family Meetings

Family Meetings (FMs) are one of the core aspects of the Positive Discipline Approach. Although parents provide the leadership in the family, holding FMs allow children a significant and meaningful way to contribute. FMs provide:

  • A means of communication (to appreciate, compliment, vent concerns and feelings).
  • The opportunity for children to be appropriately and actively involved in the household.
  • Life skills (problem solving skills, how to work as a team).
  • A sense of significance because everyone at the table has an important voice worthy of being heard.
  • A time to cooperatively establish routines, develop schedules, share tasks.
  • Opportunities to model and teach core life values: Cooperation, Contribution, Caring, Connection, Commitment, and Capability.

Continued participation in FMs creates strong connections to our families; people feel heard, solutions are found, things get done. In the process, children can learn tools that will carry on into their future relationships and careers. This sense of empowerment and social interest will last a lifetime. Read more>>>

  Fun Events!
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Day Out with Thomas
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  Day Out with Thomas
Roaring Camp
Date: Every Su, Fri and Sa (Jul 27-Aug 5)
Details: A train ride with ThomasTM, picture taking with Sir Topham Hatt,TM temporary tattoos, face painting, bounce houses, storytelling
Special Instructions: July 28-30 & Aug 4-6
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Nature Craft Workshop: Plant Based Salves
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  Nature Craft Workshop: Plant Based Salves
Arboretum
Date: 08/19/2018 from 10:00am to 1:00pm
Ages: Ages 12 and up
Details: Gain hands-on experience with seed saving, learn strategies for habitat restoration, and explore the life cycle of select native
Special Instructions: Class limited to 15
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Indigenous Land Stewardship at Quiroste Valley, Then and Now
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  Indigenous Land Stewardship at Quiroste Valley, Then and Now
Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Date: 07/28/2018 from 10:00am to 12:30pm
Ages: All Ages
Details: We will visit the remains of a large Quiroste village (most likely the village of Metenne)
Special Instructions:
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831)420-6115 view all details >>
     
Family Meetings
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  Family Meetings
Date:
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Wilder Things - Welcome To The Jungle Book (2018)
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  Wilder Things - Welcome To The Jungle Book (2018)
Little People's Repertory Theatre
Date: Every day (Jul 25-Aug 5)
Details: Dorothy lives in a cupboard below the porch of her aunt and uncle's farmhouse. One day an owl arrives with an invitation for Dor
City: Ben Lomond view all details >>
     
Urban Farm Day
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  Urban Farm Day
Live Oak Grange
Date: The 4th Sa of every month from 8:00am to 9:00am
Ages: All
Details: Play with baby goats, enjoy hyper-local food and drink, shop for plant starts for your garden and arts and crafts, enjoy worksho
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Rockin' Pop Up
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  Rockin' Pop Up
Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Date: The 4th Sa of every month (Apr 28-Aug 25) from 10:00am to 12:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: The Geology Gents are ready to ID your local (or not-so-local) geologic finds, as well as show off a rotating collection of spec
Special Instructions: Bring your rocks!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 420-6115 view all details >>
     
Storytellers' Showcase Campfire!
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  Storytellers' Showcase Campfire!
State Park Big Basin
Date: 07/28/2018 at 7:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Join us in our historic campfire center for a special storytelling evening
City: Boulder Creek Phone: 831-338-8018 view all details >>
     
The Gilroy Garlic Festival
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  The Gilroy Garlic Festival
Gilroy Garlic Festival
Date: Every day (Jul 27-Jul 29)
Ages: All
Details: "Ultimate Summer Food Fair"; three d9ys of incredible food, beverages, arts & crafts, live entertainment and
Special Instructions: Santa Teresa Blvd & Club Dr
City: Gilroy Phone: 408-846-6886 view all details >>
     
GROUNDBREAKING of LEO's Haven
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  GROUNDBREAKING of LEO's Haven
Santa Cruz County Parks
Date: 10/13/2018 from 10:00am to 2:00pm
Details: A community festival featuring oversize lawn games, pumpkins, music, craft stations, food trucks, a book giveaway and a picnic a
City: Santa Cruz County view all details >>
     
Music at Sky Park
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  Music at Sky Park
Scotts Valley Kiwanis
Date: 09/30/2018 from 2:30pm to 6:00pm
Details: GREAT Lineup for our 2nd CONCERT of the summer season! Downbeat at 2:30 ~ and it's FREE!
City: Scotts Valley view all details >>
     
THE PRODUCERS
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  THE PRODUCERS
Cabrillo Stage Summer Musical Festival
Date: Every day (Jul 26-Aug 19)
Details: The Producers is a hilarious musical comedy that took Broadway by storm
City: Aptos view all details >>
     
Family Camp
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  Family Camp
Web Of Life Field (WOLF) School
Date: 08/02/2018
Ages: All ages!
Details: Family Camp at Monte Toyon in the Redwood Forest
Special Instructions: Relax in the Redwood Forest!
City: Aptos Phone: (831) 684-0148 view all details >>
     
     
  Family Meeting Guidelines

Family Meeting Format  from Positive Discipline Community Resources   -    Printable Version

Follow the format, made up of four components:

1. Compliments & Appreciations

2. Agenda Items:

  • Decide on a time frame
  • Use consensus, and table an item if no decision can be found
  • Review past decisions if needed

3. Future Plans (family activities, trips, birthdays, projects)

4. Fun Time (dessert, board game, sharing stories, quotes, jokes)

 

Getting It Started and What's Involved

Keep it simple to start. Do compliments and appreciations at first.

Lay the groundwork. Before respectful problem solving can occur, do some skill building with family members to: learn how to listen without interrupting, look for helpful solutions instead of revenge, express feelings appropriately, no name calling, try new ways of doing things knowing things can be changed or modified.

Gain buy-in by addressing one or two child-focused items on the agenda for the first few meetings. Build from there.

Encourage children to add their issues to the agenda when things come up during the week. When you hear, "She's taking my toys again!" respond with, "Why don't you put that on the agenda."

Rotate FM jobs as children show interest and capability (Chair, time-keeper, note taker, other?)

Have FMs regularly, same day and time.

Keep an FM journal. Record decisions made. Revisit the list of other options if an issue remains a problem. Your journal will become a family treasure of meaningful times together.

Adjust your expectations for attentiveness for two and three year olds. Compliments and Appreciations or planning Family Fun time are for all ages. Then younger ones could stay, but play nearby.

How to Make Family Meetings Successful  Children may think FMs are a way for parents to manipulate them. It is more important for children to learn that this is a safe place to address problems or concerns that any family member might have. First, it is important to get "buy in" from the children. This is done by parents following these guidelines.

  • Remember the long-range purpose: to develop the feelings of belonging, significance, and capability, and to teach valuable life skills. Don't use FMs as a platform for lectures and parental control.
  • Post an agenda in a visible place; encourage family members to write down ongoing family issues. Only post items that are appropriate for children to help decide.
  • Start with compliments so family members learn to look for and verbalize positive things about each other.
  • Use consensus to decide solutions, not majority. Brainstorm solutions to problems. Start with wild and crazy ideas (for fun) and end with practical ideas that are useful and respectful to all concerned. Then choose one suggestion and try it for a week.
  • Calendar a family fun activity for later in the week, as well as all sports and other activities (including a chauffeur schedule).
  • Keep FMs short (10 to 20 minutes) depending on the ages of your children. End with a family fun activity, game, or dessert.
  • Create a win-win environment that values mutual respect and each person's point of view so that neither children nor adults dominate. Model how to listen; be attentive and quiet as others speak; ask questions instead of telling. Work to make meetings fun and productive.
  • Remember learning these skills takes time. Even solutions that don't work provide an opportunity to go back to the drawing board and try again. Always focus on respect and solutions.

Going Deeper. Family Meetings can become one of the most effective and useful parenting tools when done well and consistently. Once FMs have been established, it can help solve a number of challenges, such as:

Sibling conflicts. Siblings now have a place to respectfully flesh out problems, share frustrations and take responsibility for coming up with their own agreeable solutions. Loud, domineering children learn to listen, and reserved children are given room to speak.

Time Outs. In the Positive Discipline Approach, Time Outs are used to calm the brain down in moments of heated tantrums or arguments. FMs provide a structure for conflicts to be addressed later when calmer and rational heads prevail.

Follow-Through. This tool keeps parents from letting issues slide. FMs provide a consistent structure for past agreements to be assessed. Children will experience accountability for agreements. They also will experience their concerns being addressed and not forgotten.

Addressing irritations. "Bugs and Wishes:" Parents and kids are invited to express their irritations this way: "It bugs me when you leave your mitt in the driveway;I wish that you would put it on the shelf in the garage."

Key Steps

  • Establish a day and time to meet as a family.
  • Together establish ground rules and practice these skills (no interruptions, respectful language, rotate leadership role, everyone gets an equal vote, all electronics off, etc.).
  • Establish buy-in from children: keep it short, give them room to talk, end with dessert or fun activity.
  • Post an agenda board accessible to everyone; record items as they arise during the week.
  • Follow the FM format:
  • Compliments and Appreciations
  • Agenda items
  • Future Plans
  • Family Fun time
  • Keep the meeting mutually respectful (no parental lecturing, no controlling children).
  • Focus on solutions, not blame. Table items that remain unresolved for the next meeting.
  • Record solutions in a family journal for later references.
  • Work to make meetings fun and productive.

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