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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

January 26, 2017
Teens!

PDCR: Understanding Teens

PDCR: The Teen Brain

PDCR: Adult Role That Best Supports Teen Development
10 Awesome 100-Year-Old Crafts for Kids
Places to Go!
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  Teens!

(0 Jan 2017) HelloSunshine.jpgAhhhh... Sunshine! Let's hit the forests, beaches, bikeways, parks!

(0 Jan 2017) Teen_Reading3.jpgFor parents of teens we bring you some excellent insight and helpful tips from Colleen Murphy of PDCR.  Teens often exhibit a few similarities to some of the characteristics of toddlers, so even if you have younger children, the years fly by quickly. It's wise to be laying the foundation.

(2 Buttons) Button_Weekend.jpgPlease share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Have a sunny weekend,  Parmalee


 

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  PDCR: Understanding Teens

by Colleen Murphy,

parent educator for Positive Discipline Community Resources

The teenage years carry the reputation of being a challenging time.  It is potentially a time of rebellion, risk-taking, and sneakiness, which stirs up worry, stress, and fear in parents.  Each development stage brings new things for children to learn, and parents must make adjustments with each new stage in their child's growth. The difference between the adolescent development stage and previous stages is that the consequences of mistakes are much bigger. This can cause parents to seek tighter control. Yet trying to control a teen can result in greater rebellion and risk-taking.  A better choice is to seek to understand this unique stage from a social, psychological, physiological perspective.   Parents can then align with their teens and actually enjoy the people their teens are becoming as opposed to going to war with them.

Individuation: The Teen's Task

Much like a toddler who is trying to establish independence and says, "Me do it!" and   "No!" a teen has entered a similar phase. Teens sound more like this: "Don't tell me what to do!" and "I'll just do it anyway without your permission."  The biologically driven push for independence is called the Individuation Process. It is an important and necessary process as teens prepare to head into the young adult stage of life.

(0 Jan 2017) TeenRollingEyes.jpgAll teenagers are not the same, but there are some general behaviors that most teens display.  Here is a list of typical teen traits:

  1.  Rebellious. Teens reject the family and the family's values. To find out who they are, teens must first reject whatever their parents find important in order to figure out what they believe and how they are different from the family. Rebellion is the fuel to push forward into separation. Example: "I don't want to go to church anymore."
  2. Emotional. Teens are maturing physically and sexually at a rate they cannot control. They may feel anxious about maturing too fast or too slow. High levels of hormones and the restructuring of the brain at this time create mood swings. They are delightful one minute and rude the next. Example: "I love you, Mom."  "Get out of my room!"
  3. Friendship focused. Interacting within their peer group helps teens figure out if and how they fit in. Example: "I have to go to the party! Everyone else is going!"
  4. Tests limits, seeks thrilling experiences, is impulsive, takes risks. They want to test out what they are able to do without being directed, advised, or ordered. Increased levels of the chemical dopamine in the brain fuels impulsive behavior and desire for excitement. The brain's evaluation center at this stage looks at the positive rewards of a risky choice and ignores the possible negatives, thus the risk seems worth it to teens.  
  5. Private. Alone time and keeping their thoughts private helps them to figure out who they are and what's important without an audience. Teens misinterpret any kind of question as prying and respond defensively. Example: "Why do you want to know about my day?!"  They often respond to questions with one-word answers or give silent shrugs to guard their privacy.   
  6. A mistaken sense of knowing it all and thinking parents know nothing.  Any adult advice or wisdom is rejected and considered "stupid."  In fact, being seen with a parent in public causes great embarrassment. Teen thinking is: "Parents can't possibly relate to me and my generation."

 

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  PDCR: The Teen Brain

(0 Jan 2017) Teen_andMom3.jpgGreat changes are taking place in the whole body, including the brain. The brain begins to make structural changes in order to become more integrated (meaning different areas of the brain link together).  The brain reduces the number of neurons (basic brain cells) it has grown since before birth, letting go of excess neural connections not being used anymore. The brain also lays down myelin which connects the electronic flow between neurons allowing for faster and more efficient information flow. The frontal lobe --the master control center that helps coordinate major brain functions-- dramatically changes, further linking up and integrating different areas of the brain. Additionally,  as the teen gains important life experiences, more neural connections are created, further developing the brain.

As the teen brain integrates new connections, positive, new skills are gained such as the ability to:

  • pause and consider more than one impulsive response
  • look at the bigger picture of a situation in order to make wiser choices based on experience and intuition
  • focus on complex ideas, to wonder about the meaning of life for the first time
  • consider creative thoughts, and, when paired with their energetic drive, can promote new ideas and solutions

 
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Words of Wisdom from the Front Line

"Your children should eventually come to the conclusions that the more they know, the more they know that they do not know it all and never will.  This is a good day. This is when they realize that learning will always be a lifelong pursuit."

 

  PDCR: Adult Role That Best Supports Teen Development

Don't take things personally.  It's not about you so much as about the fact that the brain is remodeling itself. This causes hiccups. The thinking process and ability to manage emotions are challenged. Empathy is emerging but not fully there. Remember, rejection of family is part of the process for now, but it is not permanent.

(0 Jan 2017) TeenVolunteer2.jpgChannel the need for novelty, risk, and adventure. Offer experiences in controlled environments such as sports, rock climbing, racetrack driving, or organized travel experiences with peers. Pull back your direct adult supervision to some degree but communicate clear expectations. Give permission for more social activities but have boundaries about curfews, talk with the adults supervising events, or have established check-in/call times, etc.

Assure that consequences make sense. If something gets broken or lost, have teens take part in repairing and paying expenses. If teens stay up too late, they still must get up and meet responsibilities on time. 

Give needed space but stay connected. Back off when teens want alone time, but be available when they have something to say. Show interest, not judgment, about their newly emerging opinions. Invite genuine conversations through questions, "What do you think about this issue?"  "Do you have a new plan for next time this happens?"  Listen with your mouth shut and ears open!

Accept who they are becoming.  This is truly an exciting time as teens mature into unique adults. Join in the excitement of seeing where their interests and ideas take them. You may learn a great deal as you let them teach you things you've never explored.

  10 Awesome 100-Year-Old Crafts for Kids

A Glass Reflecting Frame for Copying Pictures

 

Scanning, copying, and printing a picture you want to copy is for the faint-hearted. True art lovers build one of these and do it by hand. Again, instruction is brief, even when the intended reader is an 8-year-old girl.

Two boards (A and B), two cross-pieces (C and D), and a small picture-frame with the glass fastened securely in place (E). The boards A and B should be about 1 inch longer than the picture-frame, and they should be square. Place the pieces upon the pair of crosspieces C and D, with the edge of the picture-frame slipped between them, and nail them to the crosspieces, driving them tight up against the frame to hold it securely in an upright position."

To actually copy a picture, you would trace the reflection in the glass onto fresh paper. Brilliant in its simplicity.

Continue for 9 more old fashioned crafts>>>>

  Places to Go!

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Kirby School 6-12, Open House 1/26


Gateway School K-8, Saturday Open House 1/28

 

Chartwell School 1-12, Open House 2/7

 

Mount Madonna PreK-12, "Into the Woods" Play 1/28-29

 

Dyslexia Training Institute, How to Advocate for a Child with Dyslexia 1/31

 

Gateway School K-8, School Day Tour 2/7

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Lego: Not-So-Simple Machines
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  Lego: Not-So-Simple Machines
Library La Selva Beach
Date: The 4th Fri of every month at 11:00am
Ages: 9-18
Details: Lego: Not-So-Simple Machines No Session 11/24 Create Lego devices
City: La Selva Beach Phone: 661-4771 view all details >>
     
Teens!
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  Teens!
Date:
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Listen to A Forensic Anthropologist
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  Listen to A Forensic Anthropologist
Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History
Date: 06/06/2017 at 7:00pm
Ages: All Ages
Details: About science, history and sleuthing by forensic anthropologist Alison Galloway, Santa Cruz local
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831-420-6115 view all details >>
     
Mission Cooking Demonstration
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  Mission Cooking Demonstration
State Park Mission
Date: 04/15/2017 from 1:00pm to 2:00pm
Details: Presentation of Ohlone and Spanish cuisine including hot rock cooking, tortilla frying on a Comal and baking in our Horno
Special Instructions: at the end of School Street off the Santa Cruz Mission Plaza
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 425-5849 view all details >>
     
Sunday Seaside Crafts
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  Sunday Seaside Crafts
Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
Date: Every Su from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Ages: Kids and up
Details: Join us with your small fry every Sunday for hands-on fun!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 459-3800 view all details >>
     
Love, Lust & Rock n' Roll
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  Love, Lust & Rock n' Roll
Santa Cruz County Symphony
Date: 06/03/2017 at 7:30pm
Ages: all
Details: From Frank Sinatra to Elton John, Led Zeppelin, and Queen, celebrate the hits from the '30s to the '90s.
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Sandra Cherk Pastels
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  Sandra Cherk Pastels
Santa Cruz County
Date: Every day (Jan 26-Mar 31)
Details: "I strive to create images you can walk into, and feel the spirit of the place!"
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
 Monterey Whalefest
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  Monterey Whalefest
Monterey Wharf
Date: Every day (Jan 28-Jan 29)
Details: This free fun and educational, interactive family event for all
City: Monterey view all details >>
     
Sunday Seaside Crafts
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  Sunday Seaside Crafts
Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
Date: Every Su from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Ages: Kids and up
Details: Join us with your small fry every Sunday for hands-on fun!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 459-3800 view all details >>
     
Film: The True Cost
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  Film: The True Cost
Library Central
Date: 04/30/2017 from 1:00pm to 3:00pm
Details: A story about the true cost of clothing.
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
     
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