What is romance? A look, a kiss, a tender touch, a dad holding a baby daughter, a mom practicing soccer with a son, a day at the beach with the family, date night, a note in the sandwich bag, an 80 year old couple walking and holding hands... it's everywhere we are, always evolving, and the beauty of romance is that each of us has the power to make it happen every day.

A friend writes about romance with children:

"How do you manage your relationship with your spouse when your kids are front and center 24/7? I really hope that some of you have found a better and more consistent way to keep up the romance even with a household of kids. I have found it to be a challenge the older our kids get. No longer is it sleepless nights with a baby where we can barely function or talk to each other. Now our Friday nights are my husband at one daughter's hockey game and me down the street at another daughter's waterpolo scrimmage. We have just learned to find the humor in it all and know that this period, even though it can feel like forever, is really such a short time.

I have come to realize that the attraction for me these days is watching my husband coach our kids, hang shelves in the house, cook breakfast in the morning and his commitment to our family. I know there are others of you who have your weekly date night set up in advance and I have heard the trick is to schedule the babysitter consistently so that you are not tempted to cancel. We each have to find what works with our families but the most important part is remembering to appreciate our spouses all year long."

Sounds good, and how about a kiss right here, on the back of my neck, mmmmmmmmm.....!

IDEAS... How will you celebrate Valentine's Day this year? We hope you will share your ideas on our Family Favorites page Here are a few suggestions from parents...
• I pack a red and pink lunch for my kids on valentines day. Apples, strawberry muffins, yogurt, red pepper hummus and salami. With a heart napkin and special love note from Mom!
• My son will be enjoying heart shaped pancakes and sandwiches. And tons of kisses from Mommy!
• This year I want to pack a picnic and have lunch at the beach. The kids love it and my husband and I can have some semi-alone time while they are playing in the surf and tidepools. Plus the picnic can be made with heart shaped sandwiches, heart cookies and a generally red/pink theme, i.e. red peppers, apples, strawberries, red grapes. The kids really like to have a one color meal and it is a fun kind of challenge for me to get creative with food.
More ideas... >>

VALENTINE CARDS... How many of you have already gotten the class list from your child's teacher and bought Valentine cards for the students or are you and your kids making them from scratch this year? Are you placing red hot hearts or the candy hearts with messages in with the card?

BAKING... If you like to bake this time of year, here is a great sugar cookie recipe topped with red hots. It is an amazing combination and always a hit. You can click to print the recipe. >>

NON PROFIT SPOTLIGHT... This month we would like to introduce you to New Families Inc., who are seeking caring families willing to provide a foster (and, potentially permanent) home to kids who have been removed from their parents...  Read more >>>

Here's to your romance!

Parmalee, Desiree and Vanessa                                            

photo by Alisha & Brook Photography

"It  was a dark and stormy night" --in fact the worst of the season with the tornado warnings, fog, thunderstorms, loss of electricity, trees in roadways-- but preparations were on and many of you came out to the Central Coast Independent School Fair to meet with school representatives and learn more about the variety of options in our communities.  The next fair will be Wednesday, November 17, 2009, 6:30-8:30pm.  In case you missed it, go to the fair's website to learn about the many fine independent schools in our area. 

Thanks to several supporters of the event: Eric Child for the new website design, CDRC, Whole Foods, Educational Resource Center, SBDC (Small Business Development Center) and Resurrection Church where it was held (and will be next time).

Central Coast Independent School Fair Committee

Right now, as I type, my daughter is awake in the living room. She has made a nest on the couch and she is reading a Franklin book. No matter that she could be reading something more...well...elevated. She likes Franklin right now.

It is exactly 38 minutes after her bedtime. Her father is out for the evening, which is when things like this happen. Somehow, kids can smell my weakness. I won't force them to eat; I won't force them to pretend to sleep.

My first baby came out skinny and energetic. He turned over for the first time when he was a few days old. When he was a small baby, he was awake for two hours, then asleep for a half an hour. Not just during the day: day and night. Thus I was awake for hours, asleep for very few. After a few months, he switched his nighttime pattern so that he'd sleep two hours at a time.
They do sleep...when you cant!

They do sleep...when you can't!

This lasted until he was approximately three.

I remember one day when he was a toddler and for some reason, my parents had come to my house and then I was going to theirs. I had a moment of lucidity in which I asked my father to drive my car. As he drove onto the one-lane bridge we have to cross to get to their house, another car came around the curve at us, full speed. If I'd been driving, we'd no doubt be dead. I was so sleep deprived I could hardly think. >>>>>>>

Below is only a partial list of upcoming events and activities so be sure to click on our EVENT CALENDAR so you do not miss anything >>

Use the PARENT PLANNER to click on events and resources you are interested in and click PRINT MY PLANNER to print or email your list.

I think the feminism movement has done very well for women in and for our country, and in some circumstances the pendulum may need some correction. When I read about the status of women in certain other countries I discover a deserving place to focus feminist energies and hopefully effect positive change.

Three Cups of Tea Santa Cruz is a fundraiser for the Central Asia Institute. It was founded by Greg Mortenson to promote and support community based education and literacy programs, especially for girls, in remote regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan. "When you educate a girl through the 5th grade you reduce infant mortality, reduce the population explosion and improve the basic qualities of life."

Read more about 3 Cups of Tea Santa Cruz Event >>>

"Love is friendship on fire."
- from The Perfect Man

So, here it comes again: Valentine's Day. If you know me, I'm a huge advocate of romance, but a much smaller advocate of Valentine's Day. Why is that?

Valentine's Day brings with it too much pressure, the way we deal with it in our society. For many men, they can't stand the day, because they are afraid they won't meet their partner's expectations. And, although many women look forward to the holiday, a lot feel that it has fallen short of their expectations by February 15th.

The reason: movies, TV shows, books, commercials, and the like have all painted a perfect scenario for Valentine's Day, that most of us can never replicate.

There are the expectations: the dinner, the jewelry, the candy, the flowers, and the slow lovin' with candles and Barry White songs in the background. Any of these can be great for a couple, but shouldn't be what we measure our romance attempts to. What's truly romantic is knowing your partner and his/her interests and what he/she need. It may be a new pair of running shoes, or tickets to a concert, or a car wash or (in the case of Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton.. yes they were a couple), a vial of your partner's blood on a necklace (I know, kinda creepie). The thing is, if you know your partner, if you are truly their friend, not merely their spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, then you know what lights their fire.

And, that's where the quote comes in (sheesh, pretty long-winded this month, eh?). With friendship as your foundation to your relationship, romance is easy. We know our friends. We know what rocks their boats. Well, love is supposed to be friendship on fire. If it is, then this Valentine's Day, you won't have to feel stressed. You won't look at it as the one day out of the year (maybe second, if you count your anniversary) where you are forced to feign romance.

Instead, look at Valentine's Day as the official reminder of keeping romance alive all year long... with your friend.
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Submitted by Leon Scott Baxter Lewandowski (America's Romance Guru)
Author of "A Labor With Love" and "Out of the Doghouse" www.CouplesCommittedToLove.com