Just imagine --with our years of experience about universal qualities of human nature, if the name calling and gossip, is upsetting to us adults--  how this acrimony harms our children if they are exposed to even a whiff of it.

We can provide our very young children with uplifting stories about good character, kind deeds, making difficult and right choices, games that develop thinking skills and more. We can expose them to art, music and dance, take them to museums, zoos, parks.  Early on we can explore the differing facets of ideas, choices and consequences. Then, as they become developmentally ready for exposure to "the larger world," we have armed them with tools to determine facts, examine varied opinions and sort the wheat from the chaff when viewing "news."

In case you can't make the two day Clam Chowder Cook-off this weekend, I'm sharing two favorite clam chowder recipes.  What a great rainy day dinner.

It's still February.  We bring you a medley of thought provoking articles on fine tuning relationships! 

Please share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Have a relaxing weekend,  Parmalee

Are you living with polarizing tension? Are you in a relationship like Matalin and Carville or friends with someone whose political perspectives perplex and confound you? Have you fallen out with friends or relatives because they don't respect your beliefs or you don't respect theirs? Or have you been able to find areas where you can agree and to set aside those areas where you disagree?

I came across an article written by the Jennifer Dukes Lee, who is in a marriage with daily "polarizing tension." Yet Lee, author of "The Happiness Dare" has found the positive in this situation: "In a weird way, the tension in my home is a gift. It’s a hard and painful gift, but I choose to call it a gift anyway. Because it is teaching us something very important about what it means to find unity in the midst of a sharp divide." 

I was immediately intrigued because perhaps this author has found a solution for all of us, and not just how to live with disagreements over politics but fundamental disagreements over any issue.

This simple, tasty recipe comes from generations of New England relatives. The more contemporary ingredients have the approval of all four of my "home-chef" brothers.  Notice that precise amounts are not given.  YOU get to be the architect of your very own chowder.  

Old school chowder started with sauteing salt pork and onion then adding your fish or seafood stock before adding the vegetables.  Instead of salt pork today we use a little bacon to start out the flavor base and drain most of the fat after it's rendered.  You may saute the onion now, or add it to the stock later.

If you are fortunate enough to have fresh, live clams, place them in a cooler with water and corn meal long enough (4-6 hours) to clean the sand out of the clams. Second choice is fresh clams.  Third choice is canned clams.  If using canned, go for the high quality. Cook the clams separately in very little water and then cut them up. 

Save the fluid from cooking the clams for the soup pot, being careful to pour off just the stock and not the sand.  Better than Bouillion sells a clam stock  if you want to up the clam flavor.

Prepare peeled, small-cubed Yukon Gold potatoes, minced onion and celery chopped small.

Cook everything in the seafood stock with enough fluid to cover your solids until it's nearly done and then separate the stock to thicken it in another pot with a roux.  You can do a traditional roux with flour although potato flour (typically available in health food stores) as a thickener works fairly well and does not leave a flour taste.  

To get the chowder white add Half and Half until it gets to the desired color and thickness.

Season to taste with fresh ground pepper and top with some fresh herbs (chopped dill or fennel fronds go particularly well with chowders).

Serve with a nice toasted crusty piece of baguette bread and you have a hearty meal.

Variations:

1. A Mendocino twist on New England chowder includes chopped carrots in the dish which adds nice color.  Add the carrots at the same time as the other vegetables.

2. A twist on traditional chowder is adding chopped, roasted red peppers to the chowder as you are about to eat.  The colors look festive.  If you put the roasted red peppers in the soup while simmering it turns pink.

3. Another interesting variation is to simmer saffron in the seafood stock before you add it to your pot with the vegetables.  This ends up tinting your chowder a light yellow color which is very appealing.

4. If you're making fish chowder with a whitefish like Cod, Pollock or Haddock simply put that in after the stock has been thickened, 10 to 15 minutes before it's time to eat.  Be sure to get your fish from a reliable source, no skimping on quality.

Relationships require work.  This website, thebookoflife.org, offers some intriguing explanations in areas of relationship challenges.  Take your pick if the title appeals to you!

Here's a worthy clam chowder from New England.

Ingredients

• 1 slice hickory-smoked bacon, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon butter
• 1 cup onion, minced
• 1 medium garlic clove, minced
• 1 teaspoon Spice Blend (see below)
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 can clams (6-1/2 ounces)
• 1 cup bottled clam juice
• 1-1/2 cups Half and Half
• 1/4 teaspoon white pepper
• 2 medium potatoes, boiled, peeled and diced very small
  

Preparation

Spice Blend: 4 t oregano, 4 t dried parsley, 2 t marjoram, 2 t dill, 4 t thyme, 4 t basil, 1 t sage, 4 t rosemary, 2 t tarragon, 1 T all-purpose flour, crushing in a mortar if possible. Store in a resealable plastic bag to refrigerate.

In a heavy-bottomed, 4-pint soup kettle, sauté bacon, butter, onion, garlic and the Spice Blend over low heat.

Do not allow to brown. Drain clams and set aside, reserving the juice. Slowly stir the flour and clam juices in the sauté mixture. Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Add Half and Half and simmer 20 minutes. Add white pepper, potatoes and clams. Heat to serving temperature. Do not allow to boil, as this toughens the clams. Serve at once with warm baguette.