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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

August 4, 2016
Savor Summer
Communication Yes! Divorce No!

Personal Identity, Family Structure, and Identity Politics

What are you doing to nurture your creativity?
Christine: Sequoyah and the Cherokee Language
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  Savor Summer

(A Aug) Beach_Conorand.jpgDo keep on enjoying glorious summer! Keep fall at bay a little longer.  Beaches, swimming, boogey boarding, reading, lazy days, sandals, shorts and sleeveless tops, picnics, gardening, hikes, camping out, family vacations, road trips, festivals, and campfires, enjoy them all. 

Savor summer!

In the throes of romance prior to marriage who thinks/talks about future divisions of labor and equality/inequality of earning realities? What if you're already a few or even many years into a marriage and children and these two areas have become an irritant. Are you on the same page or does there need to be some good communication about expectations and possibly some adjustments and compromise?  What's your unique approach to these topics?  I suspect there's a wide variety of arrangements among enlightened Santa Cruz parents. No matter what the agreed upon balance, what really matters is each parent's satisfaction with expectations being met.  Please, it's not easy, but at all ages we need to work smart to have strong marriages and solid, nurturing families. Our nation need this foundation.

Dr. Richard Corradi offers his perspective on family structure and the consequences our society is experiencing from changes in the makeup of family units. The studies he cites were done on traditional families and fatherless families.  Whether your family is a traditional, non-traditional, or single parent model, the discussion is valuable to each of us in doing the best we can raising our children to be the best they can be.  Reach deeply and take from this article that which will inspire and help you in your most important job, parenting.  If you are in a same-sex marriage, follow the link in Dr. Corradi's article to a study on children of same-sex parents for insights into potential challenges.

As always, Christine brings us a nifty topic and challenge for the dinner table! Enjoy.

(A Buttons) Button_Weekend.jpgPlease recommend our newsletter to new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events! We cannot fit them all into this newsletter.  There are more on the online calendar.

Have a creative weekend with the family! Parmalee

  Communication Yes! Divorce No!

The Reason Many Couples Divorce May Surprise You

A new study looks at the financial factors that lead to a higher risk of divorce, and the results may not be what you'd expect.

by Melissa Willets

Women resenting their husbands for not pulling their weight in the family may lead to divorce. At least that's what a new study, "Money, Work, and Marital Stability: Assessing Change in the Gendered Determinants of Divorce," published in the American Sociological Review, seems to suggest.

The research flies in the face of other recent theories that have suggested women having equally successful and important careers as their husbands explains the uptick in divorces over the past 50 years.

"The fact that divorce rates rose during the second half of the 20th century at the same time when women were moving into the labor force has prompted some speculation that marital stability has declined because women no longer 'need' to be married for financial security," study author Alexandra Killewald, professor of sociology at Harvard University said, according to Newswise. She added, "For some, this implies that women's entry into the work force has come at the expense of stable marriages. My results do not suggest any tradeoff of that kind."

Instead, after looking at 6,300 same-sex couples, Killewald claims a couple's division of labor is what makes the difference.

For the study, researchers compared two groups of couples: those married in 1974 or earlier, and couples married in 1975 or later. The results were very interesting, to say the least.

When couples were married prior to 1975, the more housework a woman did without her hubby's help was related to a lower risk of divorce. But predictably, that dynamic didn't hold up for couples married more recently. "Expectations for the division of housework between spouses appear to have changed, so that men are expected to contribute at least somewhat to household labor," explains Killewald.

And although the data suggests women are still responsible for the majority of housework, Killelwald says, "In general, men seem to be contributing a little more than they used to, and these contributions may now be expected and appreciated by wives."

Um, yes. I do expect my husband to help out around the house, and with the kids. Because we both work, and we both live here, and we are both parents; at least, that is how I see it. When I feel like our contributions are out of balance, I definitely feel resentment boil up. And if he didn't work...well, I'm sure that would lead to resentment, and fighting as well, because I'd feel all of the burden of supporting our family was falling on me.

According to this research, my feelings are not an anomaly. "While contemporary wives need not embrace the traditional female homemaker role to stay married, contemporary husbands face higher risk of divorce when they do not fulfill the stereotypical breadwinner role, by being employed full-time," Killewald commented, adding, "Men who aren't able to sustain full-time work face heightened risk of divorce."

It seems to come down to a woman's need to feel like she has an equal partner in marriage and raising a family. At least that's my take. What's yours?

Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. 

 

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  Personal Identity, Family Structure, and Identity Politics

A Psychiatrist Looks at Personal Identity, Family Structure, and Identity Politics

by  Richard B. Corradi  within Marriage, Politics, Sexuality July 14th, 2016

If we ever hope to rid our country's political discourse of the poison of identity politics, we must begin by rebuilding the psychological foundations of healthy identity formation in our children.

Over the past several decades, a series of social and political causes-perhaps most prominently, abortion and same-sex marriage-have polarized the American people. For many adherents of these causes, passionate political involvement now fills the place more traditionally occupied by religious belief. Virtually every cause, led by its militant true believers and enlisted activists, has exploited the tactics of identity politics, vilifying the opposition while proclaiming its aggrieved righteousness. Identity politics draws people in by appealing to fairness, inducing guilt, promoting fear, demonizing opponents, and attaching the cause to a political affiliation.

Not all people are equally vulnerable to these tactics. As a psychiatrist, I firmly believe that people's susceptibility to identity politics, moral relativism, and situational ethics is determined, at least in part, by certain key developmental life experiences-both conscious and unconscious.

The field of psychiatry possesses a rich knowledge of human emotional and mental development. Unfortunately, this knowledge is largely ignored in the climate of biological reductionism that currently dominates the discipline. Still, the knowledge is there for those who care to make an honest inquiry, even if the realities of psychological development do not http://www.santacruzparent.com/_local/dynamic/img/FamilyCooking2.jpgsupport their preferred political position. In particular, psychiatry clearly demonstrates the formative influence of the role models with whom children identify and underscores the importance of the traditional nuclear family. And understanding the crucial role of identification in personality development can shed light on why our country has fallen for the polarizing politics of special interest groups. Read more to see how this relates to raising children...>>>>>

Richard B. Corradi, MD, is Professor of Psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine in Cleveland, Ohio.

 

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  What are you doing to nurture your creativity?

"In a time of destruction, create something: a poem, a parade, a community, a school, a vow, a moral principle; one peaceful moment."  -Maxine Hong Kingston

(A Aug) GardenPaintingofFamily2.jpgYou provide creative outlets for your children. What are you doing to nurture your own creativity and well-being? Gourmet cooking, sewing, painting, beading, building furniture, writing, singing, playing an instrument, reading in the hammock, dancing, acting with a local theater group, helping your child's teacher, gardening? 

  Christine: Sequoyah and the Cherokee Language

(A Aug) Sequoya.jpgScientists have always existed. They figured out how to make paint so someone could paint cave walls. They figured out how to bake bread and make beer and wine. They looked at the stars and wondered.

I am writing about  a Cherokee named Sequoyah. He was a truly amazing person who created the Cherokee written language. He created a language of 86 characters where each symbol represented a distinctive syllable in the Cherokee language. He did this despite the fact that he couldn't read or write in any language. Just the idea of a written language was enough for him to understand the concept.

I have links below if you want to read about his life. It took 12 years and he finished in 1821. He understood that the Americans communicated with a written language and felt his people should also have one. On his his first attempt he tried to have a symbol for every word. The number of symbols quickly rose to an untenable number so he looked for another solution. He came up with the idea of having a symbol represent a syllable. At that point he needed to figure out how many syllables were in the Cherokee language.

Try it yourself... Read more>>>>

Christine Cockey is a local mom and scientist who researches what's happening in the world of science and makes science easier to understand.  Keep up with her latest articles at http://mistralmtn.blogspot.com/

 

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Elvis

A Very Loving Family Dog

 

Celebrate Whales!
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  Celebrate Whales!
Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary Exploration Center
Date: 08/05/2016 from 5:00pm to 8:00pm
Details: Whale-a-palooza! An Art and Science Event - Help us celebrate a tremendous group of comeback species
Special Instructions: across from the Santa Cruz Wharf
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 421-9993 view all details >>
     
Perseids Meteor Showers
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  Perseids Meteor Showers
American Meteor Society
Date: Every day (Jul 13-Aug 26)
Details: The Perseid meteor shower is oen of the easiest to observe
view all details >>
     
Cabrillo Music Festival
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  Cabrillo Music Festival
Cabrillo Music Festival
Date: Every day (Jul 30-Aug 12)
Details: The HERE and NOW of contemporary music for a world-class orchestra!
City: Santa Cruz County view all details >>
     
Day out with Thomas
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  Day out with Thomas
Roaring Camp Railroads
Date: Every day (Jul 29-Aug 7)
Ages: All
Details: Thomas the Tank wants you to come visit!
City: Felton view all details >>
     
Last Chance Trail
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  Last Chance Trail
State Park Big Basin
Date: 08/06/2016 from 10:00am to 2:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Take a chance! Try this trail for variety
City: Boulder Creek Phone: 831-338-8860 view all details >>
     
Star Party
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  Star Party
Quail Hollow Ranch
Date: 08/05/2016 from 7:30pm to 11:59am
Ages: All
Details:
City: Felton Phone: 831.335.9348 view all details >>
     
Scottish Games & Celtic Festival
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  Scottish Games & Celtic Festival
Scottish Society of the Monterey Peninsula
Date: Every day (Aug 5-Aug 6) from 9:00am to 6:00pm
Details: Pipe bands, Drum Major and Solo and Pipe Band competitions, Highland Dancing, Irish Step Dancing, Sheepdog Herding and...
City: Monterey Phone: (831) 682-2022 view all details >>
     
Monterey Bay Strawberry Festival
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  Monterey Bay Strawberry Festival
City of Watsonville
Date: Every day (Aug 5-Aug 6) from 10:00am to 7:00pm
Details: Strawberries, music, food and strawberries every way you can imagine
City: Watsonville Phone: 831-768-3240 view all details >>
     
FREE Daily Entertainment
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  FREE Daily Entertainment
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every day (Jun 20-Aug 14) from 12:00pm to 6:00pm
Ages: All
Details: FREE Daily Entertainment June 20 - August 14, Noon - 6pm
Special Instructions: FREE shows noon - 6pm
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831-423-2053 view all details >>
     
Church Street Fair
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Cabrillo Music Festival
Date: Every day (Aug 6-Aug 7) from 11:00am to 8:00pm
Details: Non-stop world and ethnic music and dance on the outdoor Church Street Stage, and dozens of premier artists and craftspeople
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Kids Week Downtown
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  Kids Week Downtown
Downtown Association
Date: Every day (Jul 31-Aug 7) from 9:00pm to 10:00pm
Details: Enjoy movies, classes, specials and fun things to do and see. Parents also welcome.
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
     
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