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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz County

August 29, 2019
BIG HEART! THIS is America!

Seymour Marine Discovery Center: We Need Your Help

How To Make Friends

Ask Nicole: Helping Children Cope With Traumatic Events
Fun Events!
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  BIG HEART! THIS is America!

(0 A August 2019) BIGHEART.jpg"I'm so proud of my son, he saw a kid balled up into a corner crying, so he went to console him, grabbed his hand and walked him inside of the school! It is an honor to raise such a loving, compassionate child! He's a kid with a Big Heart. The first day of school started off right." Courtney Coco Moore

Parents and children are returning to school and homeschooling adventures. We wish all of you joy in learning, renewal of old friendships, the delight in making new friends, and the treasure of inspiring teachers. Our article on friendships is for adults, although some tips will work well for children. Enjoy.

Happy Labor Day Weekend! Whence cometh (0 A August 2019) chores23.jpgour work ethic? The family of course! Our little guys and gals imitate us. We engage our children in contributing to the smooth(er) running of the home. We educate them to go out into the world to work to support themselves. America has a great reputation as a can-do culture! Here's a succinct history of labor in the USA. Have a great weekend relaxing from your labors.

Please share our newsletter with new friends so they won't miss a few tidbits of wisdom from our author contributors, and as always our many fun events!

Enjoy the long weekend with family and friends!  Parmalee


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  Seymour Marine Discovery Center: We Need Your Help

(0 A August 2019) SeymourVolunteerAug.jpgWe need your help to educate people about the role science plays in the conservation of the world's oceans! Apply to be a volunteer and connect thousands of visitors and students with the wonders of the ocean. The Seymour Center is now recruiting Exhibit Guides and School Programs Instructors. Applications are due Sunday, September 1, 2019.

There's a "job" to suit your talents and interests: School Programs Instructors, Exhibit Guides, Docents, Volunteer Aquarists, Garden Volunteers or Administrative Volunteers.

Visit Seymour's website for more information and download an application form:


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  How To Make Friends

Accept The Awkwardness: How To Make Friends (And Keep Them)

Julia Furlan & Lindsey Balbierz

Craving connection and friendship with other people is a fundamental part of being human. But what does being a friend mean in a world where hackers are trying to be your "friend" on Facebook?

The act of making and being a friend is as simple as it is difficult. We spoke with experts to help find ways to make new friends, as well as to take better care of the friendships you already have.

Here are a few of their insights:

Accept the awkwardness and assume that other people need new friends, too

It's weird and uncomfortable to make new friends. When you reach out to somebody you don't know well - whether that's sending the first text message or making small talk in the elevator - you often feel exposed. You have to accept that awkwardness and the vulnerability it stems from, because guess what? You can't have friends without getting vulnerable.

Remember that people will like you more than you think they will

When you are moving through the world, don't forget that human connection is yours for the taking. It's science: Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, has done research on something called the "liking gap," which says that the little voice in your head telling you that somebody didn't like you very much is wrong, so don't listen to it.

"When you talk to someone else, you're actually going to brighten their day," Sandstrom says.

If you're up for it, Gillian and her colleagues have developed a scavenger hunt challenge to help you talk to strangers.

Invest in activities that you love

Ask anyone about how to make friends and they will most likely tell you to try a new hobby. It might sound hollow, says Heather Havrilesky, the advice goddess behind the "Ask Polly" column on the website The Cut, but it works.

"Do the things you're passionate about and you will naturally draw people to you, and you'll naturally connect with other people because you'll be in the right place," Havrilesky says.

Don't forget to start with something you are actually interested in, and if it doesn't work out, remind yourself that you contain multitudes! You don't have to be interested in just one thing.

It's OK to treat friendship as seriously as you would dating

Having friends is one of the most nourishing parts of being alive, so it's not weird or bad or wrong to prioritize it. Get comfortable putting yourself out there a little bit. Carve the time and space you need to find and nourish your friendships. It's what all the cool kids are doing.*

Be present

The planet is warming, our news alerts are constant, and there's so much good television out there to watch. We get it. But if you want to prioritize and nourish your friendships, you have to show up for them. We have a few tips for being present and engaged with your friends:

  • Listen and notice things about your friend.
  • Take notes! It will help you remember your conversations and allow you points of connection later.
  • Remember the names of folks in your friends' lives. Another thing that can help: Ask to see a picture of the person they're talking about so it sticks better in your head.
August 19, 201912:25 AM ET This story comes from Life Kit, NPR's family of podcasts for making life better - everything from finances to exercise to raising kids. For more, sign up for the newsletter.
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  Ask Nicole: Helping Children Cope With Traumatic Events

(0 A August 2019) NicoleAug.jpgNicole M. Young, MSW

It's been hard to read and watch the news lately. Three mass shootings within one week. Migrant children in detention camps. Families torn apart after immigration raids. With each "new" story, I feel sad, angry, and heavy with worry. I worry about the safety of my children when mass shootings occur in public places without warning. I worry about what children of undocumented immigrants must feel, not knowing if they'll see their parents again, or living in constant fear of being separated from their families. Traumatic events like these create emotional scars that last a lifetime, long after the media has moved on to the next big story.

Dear Nicole, I've been really scared and stressed lately. Every day there's another horrible story in the news or social media about mass shootings or children and families being separated or deported. I used to think I could shield my kids from the news, but they're hearing about these things through their friends and social media. They're afraid something bad will happen to our family, and I feel like a liar when I tell them everything will be ok. What can I do? MJ

Dear MJ, Thank you for asking this question. It's difficult for many adults to cope with crises and traumatic events. It's often harder for children and teens - especially if they already view the world as unsafe because of abuse, neglect, bullying, or discrimination - since they might not have the skills and support to cope with extreme stress and trauma. Here are some tips to try:

Provide a safe, loving home environment. It's important for children to know that their parents and caregivers love them and will do everything they can to keep them safe. Spend quality time talking, playing, reading, eating meals, or cuddling together. Maintain your regular morning, mealtime, and bedtime routines as much as possible. Consistent routines create predictability, which can be very reassuring to children and teens, especially in stressful times.

Watch for signs of emotional distress. Children (and adults) have a wide range of feelings and reactions to traumatic events, including anger, fear, sadness, confusion, guilt, depression, and anxiety. Some children express themselves verbally, while others are quiet or withdrawn. Sometimes, children's behaviors speak louder than words. Crying, angry outbursts, and difficulty sleeping, eating, or concentrating are common signs that children and teens are in emotional pain.

Provide opportunities for children to express their feelings. If children and teens want to talk, listen to their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Encourage them to ask questions, and answer with age-appropriate information. Young children may need help putting their feelings into words, while older children and teens may want concrete reassurance - or have their own ideas - about what can be done to restore a sense of safety at home, school, and in the community. If children or teens don't want to (or can't) talk, encourage them to express themselves through art, music, picture books, or imaginary play.

Monitor children's exposure to news, social media, and adult conversations. While being aware of current events is important, constant exposure to negative news can contribute to increased anxiety and fears. When young children see or hear repeated news coverage of a traumatic event, they might believe it's happening repeatedly or close by. And even if they don't understand what's being said, children can sense and react to their caregivers' emotions. Older children and teens are more likely to be able to understand what's being said, which could lead to feeling hopeless or a lack of control over their friends' and family's safety.

Take care of yourself. Notice your emotions and take a break from the news when you feel overwhelmed, anxious or angry. Set a good example by telling your kids how you're feeling and saying you need to take care of yourself. Then find a healthy outlet for those feelings - e.g. exercising, meditating, deep breathing, praying, reading, talking to someone, journaling, or just sitting quietly by yourself.

FINAL THOUGHTS: It's often easier to let fear rule our heads and hearts instead of love and compassion. Teaching children (and ourselves) tools to cope with distress might not stop traumatic events from happening again, but it can help restore a sense of safety and hope for a better future.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 15 and 19, who also manages Santa Cruz County's Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, the world's leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit, or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-221.

  Fun Events!

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It's Coming!

Santa Cruz County


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Pet Portrait

by a 9 year old

Pride and Prejudice
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  Pride and Prejudice
Santa Cruz Shakespeare
Date: Every day (Jul 9-Aug 31)
Details: Fast-paced, off-beat, and irreverent!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Friday Night Bands at the Beach
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  Friday Night Bands at the Beach
Beach Boardwalk
Date: Every Fri (Jun 14-Aug 30)
Details: Bring the family and your blanket or low back chair and join us for these classic bands!
Special Instructions:
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Big Trees Art Exhibit
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  Big Trees Art Exhibit
San Lorenzo Valley Museum
Date: Every weekday (Aug 1-Aug 31) at 8:00am
Ages: All ages
Details: Beautiful big trees - art by local artists
Special Instructions: M-F
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 338-8382 view all details >>
Evening Campfire Program - Big Basin
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  Evening Campfire Program - Big Basin
State Park Big Basin
Date: Every day (Aug 31-Sep 1) at 7:00pm
Details: An evening of song and story + marshmellows
City: Boulder Creek view all details >>
Eastside Block Party
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  Eastside Block Party
First Wave Events
Date: 08/30/2019 from 5:30pm to 8:30pm
Details: Bring your kids, bring your uncle - there's gonna be food, music, drinks, vendors, baby goats, and more! Bonus points if you wea
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Downtown Santa Cruz Sidewalk Sale
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  Downtown Santa Cruz Sidewalk Sale
Downtown Santa Cruz
Date: Every day (Aug 30-Sep 2) from 9:00am to 4:00pm
Ages: All
Details: Great month-end deals
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831)476-6940 view all details >>
Great Train Robberies
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  Great Train Robberies
Roaring Camp Railroads
Date: Every day (Aug 31-Sep 2)
Details: Shootouts, duels and other blazing re-enactments
City: Felton Phone: 831.335.4484 view all details >>
Gardens of Time
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  Gardens of Time
State Park Mission
Date: 08/31/2019 at 1:00pm
Details: Tour the native plant beds, neophyte kitchen garden, and memories of Victorian Nearyland. Take home history in a seed
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831-429-1840 x102 view all details >>
Fiddle Extravaganza
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  Fiddle Extravaganza
Valley of the Moon Fiddle School
Date: 08/30/2019 at 8:00pm
Details: A must see! Alasdair Fraser and the Valley of the Moon Scottish Fiddling School present its 36th annual concert at the Santa Cru
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
Children's Planetarium Show
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  Children's Planetarium Show
Hartnell Planetarium
Date: Every Fri (Aug 30-Dec 13) at 5:15pm
Details: Star programs for children
Special Instructions: No late admittance. Be sure to show up 5-10 minutes early. Doors are locked shut at start times.
City: Salinas Phone: (831) 755-6979 view all details >>
All Ages Planetarium Show
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  All Ages Planetarium Show
Hartnell College Planetarium
Date: Every Fri (Aug 30-Dec 13) at 6:45pm
Ages: Mature 3rd graders and up
Details: Our Evening Shows are geared towards an audience looking to explore more complex material while still enjoying a fun and enterta
Special Instructions: Pay at the door by cash or check only. Discounts for Seniors, Military and all students. Doors open fifteen minutes before show time.
City: Salinas Phone: (831) 770-6161 view all details >>
Growing a Healthy Family: A Holistic Nutrition Class Series for
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  Growing a Healthy Family: A Holistic Nutrition Class Series for
Holistic Family Nutrition Jill Troderman
Date: Every Wed (Sep 4-Sep 25) from 9:00am to 11:00am
Ages: Adult
Details: Discover and awaken your inner drive for you and your family to be and feel well utilizing plant-based foods.
City: Soquel Phone: (831) 239-1021 view all details >>
Little Rangers - Secrets of Sand
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  Little Rangers - Secrets of Sand
State Park Natural Bridges
Date: 09/02/2019 at 10:30am
Ages: 3-6 with an adult
Details: Fun for the little ones
Special Instructions: Also 2pm
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 423-4609 view all details >>
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