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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

August 14, 2014
Hold Onto Summer AND Get Ready for School

7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear
Christine: Stopping Suicide with a Blood Test
Steve: The Billy Goats Gruff in My Living Room
Viva: Bittman's Beets with Garlic Walnut Sauce - Paleofied

This Week
Grizzly Bear Festival
continued... All 7 Tips!
Click to view our Business Directory
  Hold Onto Summer AND Get Ready for School

(Photos General) boogeyboarding.jpgNow is that in between period when summer is still deliciously glorious yet the siren call of a new school term beckons. The ocean is heading toward its warmest, good beach days are ahead, the weather is perfect and we begin to think about a new teacher, meeting new and seeing old friends. For some children the return to school produces anxiety.

Last week's newsletter shared Christine's article about inheriting fear.  This week's newsletter offers 7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear by Jude Bijou.  We have all felt that sudden surge of adrenolin when something, physical or emotional, sparks fear in us.  Who would have thought that the first tip, "Shiver", can  relieve fear immediately.  Jude adds 6 more fear-conquering techniques, all practical and well worth using by all ages!

Steve shares some thought provoking information on children and story telling.  His insights challenge us parents to do far more than "just read" to our children. 

On a sad note we've all recently become more aware of suicide and the awful statistics related to it.  Christine's article offers new science and hope for those who are open to being vigilant.  My extended family lost a talented, funny, vibrant, gifted cousin (Charlie Rockett) to suicide.  We all still miss him so much.  Locally go here for more information on signs of desperation and how to help.

As always the calendar has more events than we can fit into a newsletter.  Just click for everything Friday through Sunday!

Have a fine summer weekend, Parmalee

 

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  7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear

by Jude Bijou MA MFT

Fear is natural when we're about to go back to school or off to college, because we're dipping into the unknown. The newness makes us feel as if our very survival is threatened. Whether we're nervous about the rigorous academics, living away from home for the first time, or the pressure of new social groups, it's helpful to remember that fear is a completely natural reaction for students. Everyone else has the same feeling, regardless of what he or she seems to be presenting to the world.

Here are seven highly effective techniques to help you let go of fears and worry that can turn into serious anxiety if not addressed head-on. 

(Photos General) Shivering.jpg1. Release the emotion.  Scientists understand that emotions are physical--pure energy that's produced by our brain. When we feel an emotion such as fear, we experience physical symptoms such as fast heartbeat, shortness of breath, or stomach upset. You can release fear physically and constructively by shivering and quivering, like a dog at the vet. Let your whole body do what it wants to do--shake and tremble.

Do it with vigor, and even better, accompanied by eeek or brrrr, and very quickly you will notice that your symptoms of fear are diminished or gone and you will probably start laughing. Go into the bathroom or a safe place and try it for 30 seconds. Put on some music. Do it hard and fast. All up the spine, out the arms and legs, in the hips, making sounds and hamming it up. Do it before a social event, before a difficult class, or anytime you feel those physical feelings. This may sound silly, but give it a try and you'll see the results.  Read all 7 tips!>>>>>

Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, workshop leader, consultant, and longtime student of Eastern philosophy. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction® evolved over the course of more than 30 years working with clients as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and is the subject of multi-award-winning book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life. Learn more at www.attitudereconstruction.com.

  Christine: Stopping Suicide with a Blood Test

Researchers at John Hopkins have found a new link between the risk of attempting suicide and a genetic change. This change can be found by a simple blood test.

Suicide is devastating to surviving family members. Most of the focus has been on looking at mental factors. It can be extremely difficult to discriminate between very depressed people and suicidal people.

This research seems to indicate that someone who is truly suicidal has epigenetic changes to a single gene (SKA2). This means that someone's gene is changed due to some outside influence. This genetic change can also be passed down to their children.

The results are dramatic. They designed a blood test that could predict someone had suicidal thoughts or attempted suicide with 80% certainly. They could predict those with a severe risk of suicide with 90% certainly. In the youngest group, they could predict those who had attempted suicide with 96% certainty. 

The SKA2 gene is expressed in the part of the brain which controls negative thoughts and impulsive behavior - the prefrontal cortex. The researchers suggest that this test could be used for military members to identify problems. Other useful places would be psychiatric hospitals or emergency rooms. More testing needs to be done before this test is used for large groups.

There are many stories of people - especially teens - who seemed to be crying out for help and weren't heard. Sometimes these voices are lost in the crown of those crying "wolf!" Now there may be a way to identify those who really need help.

This is a very good study that may lead to a reliable test for suicidal tendencies. It would not only save lives but would help families. It could also help the children of people who have committed suicide. It could identify those who need help before they have problems.

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-07-blood-suicide.html

Christine is a local mom and scientist. She likes making challenging science accessible to us non-scientists.  Visit her blog at Science Fun.

  Steve: The Billy Goats Gruff in My Living Room

Steve Spitalny

(Photos General) SteveSpitalny.jpgStories can be powerful tools for teaching, healing and transformation. When there is a behavior in your young child that you would like to see changed, an effective tool can be a story that portrays the challenge and an outcome you'd like to see. Later in this post I'll give some tips about creating a story for your child.

Stories are a wonderful teaching tool and a powerful way to convey the values of the teller to the receiver of the story. With young children, it is an effective way to help change behaviors and create new habits without a lot of intellectualizing and explaining. 

One of the amazing things about storytelling is that is received by the heart of the listener, bypassing the intellect. After a story, we say; "I loved that story," or "I didn't like that one." We don't respond to a story with, "I disagree with that," or "That's not correct." We respond with our feelings, and it seeps into our thoughts later.

Young children so easily learn stories by heart, even without comprehending the meaning. For the very young, stories are an opportunity for language to wash over them. They begin to taste the flavor of their mother tongue, and they learn language sounds, vocabulary, grammar and syntax. And, they begin to develop an essential capacity for later reading - the capacity to make inner pictures of what the words are describing. 

There are some important guidelines for telling or reading stories to young children....Read more>>>>

Explore the world of the young child with writer, speaker and consultant Stephen Spitalny. Steve was a kindergarten teacher at the Santa Cruz Waldorf School for 24 years and is a former member of the Board of WECAN (Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America). His book "Connecting with Young Children: Educating the Will" was published in 2012. Steve now offers workshops, coaching and mentoring in the U.S. and around the world. Find Steve here.

  Viva: Bittman's Beets with Garlic Walnut Sauce - Paleofied

(Photos General) VivaGravatar.jpg

I was purging recipes out of my recipe binder when I came across a slip of yellowed newspaper- it was Mark Bittman's recipe for beets with garlic walnut sauce.  (Mark Bittman is the brilliance behind How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, as well as a New York Times Columnist.)  Two days later a gorgeous bunch of dark red beets showed up in my farm box, so clearly making Bittman's recipe was meant to be.  However, the recipe needed to be "paleofied" so that it would work with our dietary framework.  See the changes I made>>>>

Viva Harris writes The Daily Citron, a fun blog about setting goals, saving money, staying organized, and enjoying life in the process. Don't want to miss any tips? Sign up for the free Daily Citron Weekly Newsletter

 

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  This Week

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Events in the Parks

(BUILT IN) (Icons/Graphics) Text_Calendar.jpg
A - Z Camps Swimming Holes Camp Guide
 

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Next event:
SATURDAY September  6, 12-2pm

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FREE SWIM LESSONS

 

Seahorse Swim School
is giving back
to the community!

 

FREE lessons are
the first Saturday
of each month

 

Lifestyle Fitness
Watsonville

 

>>FIND OUT MORE>>

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Big Basin

Hiking and Camping

Click here for information about guided hikes

 

Hiking on Your Own

Easy hiking:
Redwood Loop Trail
Maddock Cabin Site
Sequoia Trail

 

Moderate hiking:
Sequoia Trail

 

Strenuous hiking:
Berry Creek Falls

 

Other trails

Camping

Backpacking

Schedule a consultation session with Steve.

The start of a new school year is around the corner.

Get a head start on working on your family issues with your young children before school starts.

 

Special August rates.


Contact Steve at
stevespit@gmail.com
for details.

(Photos General) Dog_VioletGuardingChickens.jpg

Violet

from Peaceful Valley Farm

Guarding the Chickens

 Grizzly Bear Festival

State Park Rancho Del Oso Nature & History Center
Grizzly Bear stories and more!
Date: 8/16 from 12:00pm to 4:00pm
Admission Fees: Free

Celebrate the once-abundant California Grizzly Bear that roamed Waddell Valley. Throughout the day there will be crafts and activities for all ages at the Nature and History Center. At noon, there will be Grizzly Bear story time with activities around the fire for children and their families. At 2 pm, join us for a guided walk into the forest, where we will imagine what the forest might have been like with Grizzly Bears roaming around.

Rancho del Oso is located 17 miles north of Santa Cruz on Highway 1. Turn right before the Waddell Beach parking lot, you'll see a sign marked "Rancho del Oso Nature and History Center." Please follow all driving and parking instructions and watch for newts on the road. This event is free of charge and is for all ages.


Location: 3600 Highway 1 , Davenport Map
Phone: (831) 427-2288 •website Pescadero

Holding Onto Summer
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  Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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  Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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National Roller Coaster Day elebration
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  National Roller Coaster Day elebration
Beach Boardwalk
Date: 08/16/2014
Details: Love roller coasters? First 300 win a commemorative pin!
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Basic Bicycle Maintenance Class
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  Basic Bicycle Maintenance Class
The Spokesman
Date: The 3rd Sa of every month (Jul 19-Aug 16) from 10:00am to 11:00am
Ages: Free
Details: Learn tips and tricks to keep your bike happy!
Special Instructions: Sat, July 19, 10am - 11am or Sat, August 16, 10am - 11am
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Holding Onto Summer
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  Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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Who's Cooler Than a Slurpee on a Hot Summer Day
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  Who's Cooler Than a Slurpee on a Hot Summer Day
Santa Cruz Police
Date: Every day (Jul 28-Aug 31)
Details: "Operation Chill" promotes positive interactions and reinforces good behavior with the kids in our community during non-enforcem
City: Santa Cruz view all details >>
     
Holding Onto Summer
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  Holding Onto Summer
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The Roof of Big Basin
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  The Roof of Big Basin
State Park Big Basin
Date: 05/28/2016 at 9:30am
Details: Appreciate the sights, sounds, smells, feel and even taste of Big Basin
City: Boulder Creek Phone: (831) 338-8883 view all details >>
     
Holding Onto Summer
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  Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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Holding Onto Summer
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  continued... All 7 Tips!

1. Release the emotion.  Scientists understand that emotions are physical--pure energy that's produced by our brain. When we feel an emotion such as fear, we experience physical symptoms such as fast heartbeat, shortness of breath, or stomach upset. You can release fear physically and constructively by shivering and quivering, like a dog at the vet. Let your whole body do what it wants to do--shake and tremble. Do it with vigor, and even better, accompanied by eeek or brrrr, and very quickly you will notice that your symptoms of fear are diminished or gone and you will probably start laughing. Go into the bathroom or a safe place and try it for 30 seconds. Put on some music. Do it hard and fast. All up the spine, out the arms and legs, in the hips, making sounds and hamming it up. Do it before a social event, before a difficult class, or anytime you feel those physical feelings. This may sound silly, but give it a try and you'll see the results.

2. Restore your perspective.  Next, remember that it's okay to feel fear and that probably most everyone else is feeling it too. Interrupt repetitive, fear-based thoughts going on in your head. Write down your worst fears and find contradictions that are true, such as,"Everything is all right," "Everything will be okay," "We're all in the same boat," "This feeling will pass," "One thing at a time," or "I can handle this."Pick just one or two and repeat them often. Even though you're the one telling yourself these truths, positive self-talk and reassurance really do change your attitude and pacify your body. Keep interrupting the old and remembering the reality--and quickly you'll start to know it.

3. Look within for the right action.  Sometimes we can relieve the anxiety by pausing for just a minute and asking ourselves for what action needs to be done. Go against a tendency many of us have to isolate, judge ourselves poorly, and walk around in a fog. Find a quiet place so you can get in touch with what you really need to do right now or in the immediate future. Maybe it's taking a walk. Maybe it's reaching out to someone you barely know to go for coffee. Ask yourself if there's any action called for, and listen. Your heart will guide you well. If you can't hear, try shivering, then ask again!

4. Make a list of what needs attention.  Fear is often a sign that some things in our life feel out of control. School assignments can easily feel overwhelming. It's helpful to write down every specific thing that needs attention. Divide big projects into little components so you can handle them. In a day planner or on your phone, keep a running list of assignments and obligations. Then first thing each morning or the last thing at night, look at your list, prioritize the items, then decide what is important to do right now. Just indicate what needs to be done next and stay focused on doing one thing at a time. Check off each completed item and move incomplete ones to the next page. Small successes are very rewarding!

5. Stay specific; don't globalize.  When we give in to fear, we tend to feel worried about lots of things and lump all the scary things together. Remember, little steps. Little tasks. That makes anything doable. For example, if you can't get a handle on a particular assignment, don't succumb to overwhelm, but address it as a single challenge that needs your attention. Don't tell yourself you're stupid or can't do it. Stay specific. Maybe you need to approach another student for more information. Maybe you need to talk with the teacher or professor. Maybe you need to raise your hand in class and ask a question. If you stay specific and present, you'll be bigger than your fear.

6. Give yourself encouragement.  Keep offering praise for each little scary step you take. You have a choice -- beat yourself up or be your best friend. Say, "Good for me" often. Giving yourself this recognition is like being your own coach or supporter. This is what courage feels like--it feels like overcoming, being resilient, and pushing through what seems scary. Your confidence will grow and you'll feel more like the best version of you. 

7. Find a support buddy.  To combat feelings of alienation and isolation, be bold and find someone who would also like a regular check-in with a buddy. You can support each other by email, text, phone, or in person. If it's in person, have one person talk for a preset time -- like 2 to 4 minutes -- and the other just listen. Talk about whatever you want to share. The listener's task is not to solve the speaker's problems but just to understand, offer encouragement and praise, and maybe at the end of the time, inquire about what they might need to do next. When the first person's time is done, switch places and let other person share. It will only take a few minutes and will provide a valued touchstone. Don't forget to thank the other person.

Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, workshop leader, consultant, and longtime student of Eastern philosophy. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction® evolved over the course of more than 30 years working with clients as a licensed marriage and family therapist, and is the subject of multi-award-winning book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life. Learn more at www.attitudereconstruction.com.

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