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  Santa Cruz Parent Santa Cruz, CA

February 5, 2015

Building Resilience, Self-discipline and a Zest for Life in Children and Teenagers
How to Do Nothing...

Ask Nicole: Managing Fickle Friendships During Adolescence
Christine: Nature or Nurture
Code Red Emergency Notification System
This Week
Seymour Community Free Day
Ask Nicole: continued
Click to view our Business Directory
 

(Holidays) Valentine2014Youmakemyheartpop.jpgThe titles alone, "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee" and "The Blessing of a B Minus" delight me for, as a teacher, I so often shared Mae Carden's perceptive  insight with parents: "Show me the C student; he'll be the successful adult."  This is not to belittle getting A's or B's, but to acknowledge that there are many avenues to success and often it's the striving that is the true lesson. 

The author of these two books, Wendy Mogel, is coming to town and if you want to partake of her wisdom, you had best make your reservations early.  This speaker event, sponsored by Gateway, Mount Madonna, York Schools and Cabrillo College, occurs only once a year. Read the article about Dr. Mogul and act now.  These speaker series always sell out!

I don't often "do nothing", however the more I think about doing nothing, the more appealing doing nothing becomes --mostly because I usually am so caught up in doing something.  So I am looking forward to reading How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone By Yourself, reviewed in today's newsletter.

With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, a discussion of adolescent friendships seems timely.  I recently read an opinion that "loving someone takes a lifetime of work".  Now there's some food for discussion!  I daresay the advice for adolescents may also be good for us adults.

The Santa Cruz Police Department is good at communicating.  I'm sharing their recent news about Code Red.  Participation is your choice!

We share Christine's Science reports with you so you can have a fun, interesting topic to bring to the dinner table or anywhere!  Enjoy!

The Weekend   ~ Parenting Support  ~  Parks

Thank you for your interest in our newsletter and for sending many new families our way. Please, drop us a line anytime and recommend us to a friend

Have a great weekend with family and friends, Parmalee

  Building Resilience, Self-discipline and a Zest for Life in Children and Teenagers

Building Resilience, Self-discipline and a Zest for Life in Children and Teenagers: a Public Lecture on February 19 at Cabrillo College

Clinical Psychologist, Parenting Expert and Best-Selling Author Dr. Wendy Mogel Presented by Gateway School, Mount Madonna School, York School, and Cabrillo College

(Photos General) WendyMogul.jpgThrough her signature use of psychological research, coupled with timeless Jewish wisdom, disarming candor and quick wit, Dr. Wendy Mogel is known for guiding parents through the rough waters of child-rearing - adding a measure of joy and humor to their voyage. Drawing on insights from more than three decades in clinical psychology, hilarious anecdotes (and sound advice) from school and camp counselors and eye-opening conversations with middle and high school students, Dr. Mogel unravels the paradox of good-intentioned parenting gone astray and advises parents on how to adopt a kinder, firmer, and more effective approach to daily family life.

Dr. Wendy Mogel, clinical psychologist, author, and research and policy advisor for Challenge Success, a program of the Stanford University School of Education, will be the featured presenter at a public lecture on Thursday, February 19 at Cabrillo College in Aptos.

Dr. Mogel's lecture, at 7:00pm in the college's Crocker Theater, is FREE but space is limited. Reserve your seat at: http://tinyurl.com/DrWendyMogel. The event is co-presented by Gateway School, Mount Madonna School, York School, and Cabrillo College as part of their annual Speaker Series on Education.

"The purpose of the speaker series is to bring together parents, educators, and civic leaders to learn from leading scholars and researchers about best practices in teaching and learning," said Dr. Zaq Roberts, Head of Gateway School.

Supriya McDonald, Co-Head of Mount Madonna School, agreed. "The speaker series helps to inspire dialogue around improving education and provide a shared experience that opens parents and teachers to another perspective. Dr. Mogel's presentation style is warm-hearted, intuitive and humorous, yet grounded in research and practical life experience. Her anecdotal stories are easily understood and provide a soothing balm for anxious parents, students and educations."

In addition to working with Stanford, Dr. Mogel serves on the scientific advisory board of Parents magazine, and on the board of the Counsel for Spiritual and Ethical Education, a century old interfaith organization serving private schools. She contributes articles to a variety of publications including Independent School, Parents and Camping magazines and is regularly featured as a guest expert on the Today Show, and in interviews by reporters from The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Newsweek, Chicago Tribune, CNN, and NPR.

"As educators and parents, we are very aware that the social and emotional health of our children may be the single most influential factor in their learning," said Chuck Harmon, Head of York School. "We invite you to join us to hear from Wendy Mogel, an internationally acclaimed speaker and writer, about how to raise happy, resilient children."

More information on the event:

Cabrillo College is located at 6500 Soquel Drive, Aptos, Calif.  General parking is available in the Cabrillo College self-pay parking lots. Pay stations accept cash or credit card for the $4 fee.

More information on Dr. Mogel:

Dr. Wendy Mogel is an internationally acclaimed psychologist, author, and public speaker. Publisher's Weekly called her parenting book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, "impassioned, lyrical and eminently practical...a real treasure." Her second release, "The Blessing of a B Minus," addresses the challenge of parenting adolescents in a culture of anxiety and entitlement. Currently, she is working on a third book - a guide for teenagers rather than their parents - aimed at helping them develop the critical skills of self-knowledge, self-discipline and self-assurance in our highly pressured and rapidly changing world. For more information about Dr. Mogel, visit www.wendymogel.com

  How to Do Nothing...

How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself: A Timely Vintage Field Guide to Self-Reliant Play and Joyful Solitude

by Maria Popova

A celebration of makers and hackers from half a century before they were called makers and hackers.

Legendary psychoanalyst Adam Phillips has written beautifully about why the capacity for boredom is essential for a full life and Susan Sontag contemplated the creative purpose of boredom. Perhaps we understand this intellectually, but we - now more than ever, it seems - have a profound civilizational anxiety about being alone. And the seed for it is increasingly planted in childhood - in an age when play is increasingly equated with screens and interfaces, being alone with a screen is not quite being alone at all, so the art of taking joy in one's own company slips further and further out of reach.

In 1958, a self-described 42-year-old kid named Robert Paul Smith penned a little book titled How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself (public library), which his wife Elinor, an accomplished author herself, illustrated - a delightful field guide to hacking household objects and making mischievous contraptions from nature's gifts, long before the rise of hacker culture and the modern Maker Movement...continued>>>>>

Excerpted from a BrainPickings.org newsletter

 

(Ads 2015) SeahorseSwimSchool_January2015.jpg

  Ask Nicole: Managing Fickle Friendships During Adolescence

By Nicole M. Young, MSW

(Photos General) Teens_girlfriends.jpgI remember my pre-teen and teen years like they were yesterday. So much of my life revolved around school and friends, for better or worse. Friendships constantly changed as people, interests and the degree of parental supervision changed. Sometimes I was the one changing, while other times it seemed like everyone around me changed, making old friends unrecognizable. It was an awkward and exhilarating time of life, filled with both painful moments and endless possibilities. I'm so glad to be an adult now.

This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org.

Dear Nicole,

My 6th grade daughter has had the same best friend since 1st grade. I always thought they got along well, but she didn't invite her best friend to a recent sleepover. When I asked why, my daughter said her friend had been ignoring her at school and excluding her from group conversations, and that this has happened for years. She said it will eventually stop and they'll go back to being best friends. I'm wondering how could I have missed this for so many years? Should I be worried?

- Rachel

Continue for answer! >>>>>>>>>>>>>

  Christine: Nature or Nurture

(Photos General) honeybee.jpgThere is always discussion among behaviorists about where different behaviors arise. The famous question - Is is nature or nurture? Does the behavior come from genetics or something in the upbringing. The question has now been at least partially answered for honey bees.

Some researchers from University of Illinois looked at honey bees. They focused on the scouts (the bees that forage for new nectar sources) and non-scouts (bees that go to established sources and bring nectar back to the hive).

These researchers kept adding new sources of nectar near a hive. They would mark the bees that would consistently find the new sources versus the bees that only went to established sources. When they looked at the genetics of the two groups they found distinct differences....Read more>>>>>>

Chistine is a local mom and scientist who makes science easy to understand.  You can find her blog here.

  Code Red Emergency Notification System

(Graphics) codered.jpgThe Santa Cruz Police Department uses the Code Red Emergency Notification system through the Santa Cruz Regional 911 dispatch center to notify community members of an active emergency situation.

With the growing trend of households giving up their traditional landline phones and going completely cellular, we have found some people are being left out of the information loop during these emergency situations.  

To help ensure you are not left out, the Santa Cruz Police Department encourages community members to register their cell phones with the Code Red Emergency Notification system and associate their cell phone numbers with their residence or business.

On the home page, all you have to do is click on "Register your Cellular or VOIP Phone for Code Red Emergency Notifications". That link will take you to a page where you list your name, address (residential or business) and phone number. It's that simple! To quickly and easily register simply click here.

The Code Red Emergency Notification system also provides a mobile app that can be downloaded onto your cell phone through the Apple Store or the Google Play. The app provides a location-based multimedia alert system. You will be required to activate your GPS services so the system can send you alerts based on your location. Subscribers within the location of an alert issued by a public safety organization using the Code Red Emergency Notification system will receive alerts through this application.

Simply click here to begin the process to download the mobile app either for an iphone or Android. Once you are on the home page, you click on "Code Red" and that will take you to this page below. You can watch a video that talks about how the system works and can begin the downloading process by clicking "Code Red Mobile Alert app". This will present the option of going to the Apple Store or Google Play.  

(Logos Business) SantaCruzPolice.jpgThe Santa Cruz Police Department and the Santa Cruz Regional 911 dispatch center strives to keep community members informed with up-to-date public safety information and strongly suggests the community to stay connected with valuable information. By going to either one of these websites above, you can be connected either at home, work, or on the road. You can also receive alerts through the Code Red Emergency Notification System while in another jurisdiction that uses this same system.

  This Week

(Holidays) Valentine_DoYouLikeMe.jpg

February in the Parks

 

(BUILT IN) (Icons/Graphics) Text_Calendar.jpg
 

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School Corner

Learn to Discover, Electronics & Programming Classes

 

Santa Cruz Waldorf School K - 8, Waldorf Alive! A Walk Through the Grades 2/11

 

Main Street Elementary, Goodwill Drive 2/13-15

 

Gateway School K-8, Kindergarten Information Night 2/11

 

Santa Cruz Waldorf School K - 8, Early Childhood Education Class 2/5


Mount Madonna PreK-12, Winter Open House 2/21

 

Santa Cruz Waldorf School K - 8, Mornings In the Kindergarten 2/21


St. Francis Cabrini School, Free Dyslexia Presentation 2/26


Learn to Discover, STEM Workshops for Children

(Books/Movies/Products) Book_LifeChangingMagicofTidyingUp.jpg



"Kondo challenges you to ask yourself whether each object you have is achieving a purpose. Is it propelling you forward or holding you in the past?" -- USA Today

"[It is] enough to salute Kondo for her recognition of something quietly profound: that mess is often about unhappiness, and that the right kind of tidying can be a kind of psychotherapy for the home as well as for the people in it ... Its strength is its simplicity." -- The London Times

 

CLUBS FOR KIDS!

 


Date Nights

(Graphics) DateNight_dogs.jpg

 

Junebugs Gym
2nd Saturdays
5:45 - 8:45

 

Ohana Gym
3rd Saturday
5:30 - 8:30pm

 

FREE

ACTIVITIES

 

Parenting is "thrilling, exhausting, hilarious, fun, frustrating, rewarding.... and requires constant vigilance..."

(Photos General) Parenting_WalkingTogether.jpg

Tune up Your Parenting Skills


February

Workshops for  Parents with Babies to Teens

(Photos General) Dog_MomCoffeeFoster.jpg

 Seymour Community Free Day

Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
Community Free Day
Date: 02/06/2015 from 10:00am to 5:00pm
Ages: All Ages Admission Fees: Free

(Photos General) Seymour_ChildatTankwStarfish.jpgEnjoy free admission to the Seymour Center all day! Come touch a friendly shark, see how marine scientists work, and take in the spectacular Monterey Bay.

Our exhibit hall offers a deeper dive into the adventure of ocean research here in Santa Cruz and around the world.


Location: Seymour Marine Discovery Center, 100 Shaffer Road, Santa Cruz Map
Phone: (831) 459-3000 •website Santa Cruz West Side

Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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"STEM" based workshops for Children
click to view website
  "STEM" based workshops for Children
Learn to Discover
Date: Every Su, Mon, Tues, Wed, Th, Fri and Sa from 3:00pm to 5:00pm
Ages: 4 and up
Details: Afterschool Science, Technology, Engineering and Digital Art Classes
City: Capitola Phone: (831) 662-9700 view all details >>
     
Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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Gymnastics Open Gym
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  Gymnastics Open Gym
Ohana Gymnastics
Date: Every Fri from 2:30pm to 5:30pm
Ages: 3-12
Details: Supervised Gymnastics Fun!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 713-5945 view all details >>
     
Younger Lagoon Reserve Tour
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  Younger Lagoon Reserve Tour
Seymour Marine Discovery Center (at Long Marine Lab)
Date: The 2nd Su of every month from 2:00pm to 3:30pm
Ages: 10 years of age and older.
Details: Experience the wildlife and natural beauty of Younger Lagoon.
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 459-3800 view all details >>
     
Successful Kids Revolution telesummit
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  Successful Kids Revolution telesummit
Lorraine Pursell, M.A.
Date: Every Mon, Tues and Wed (Jan 26-Mar 12) from 5:00pm to 6:30pm
Details: Successful Kids Revolution free telesummit
Special Instructions: listen from your phone or computer
Phone: (808) 936-4370 view all details >>
     
Arboretum Garden Free Day
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  Arboretum Garden Free Day
Arboretum at UC Santa Cruz
Date: The 1st Sa of every month at 11:00am
Details: A tranquil place to see plants from around the world plus quail, bunnies...
City: Santa Cruz Phone: 831.427.2998 view all details >>
     
Foster Parent and Adoption Orientation
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  Foster Parent and Adoption Orientation
County of Santa Cruz
Date: The 1st Wed of every month from 6:00pm to 9:00pm
Ages: Adult
Details: Foster Parent and Adoption Orientation
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 345-2700 view all details >>
     
Lego & Duplo Fun!
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  Lego & Duplo Fun!
Library Boulder Creek
Date: Every Wed from 1:00pm to 2:30pm
Details: Join us on Wednesday afternoons for some building fun! Children learn
City: Boulder Creek view all details >>
     
Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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Four O'Clock Friday Yoga Classes for Kids and Adults!
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  Four O'Clock Friday Yoga Classes for Kids and Adults!
Luma Yoga and Family Center
Date: Every Fri from 4:00pm to 5:20pm
Ages: Kids (3 and up), Adults all ages
Details: Come enjoy Luma yoga classes for parents and children on Friday afternoon!
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 325-2620 view all details >>
     
ADHD Support Group
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  ADHD Support Group
The Santa Cruz/Monterey Bay Support Group CHADD
Date: The 2nd Wed of every month from 6:00pm to 8:30pm
Details: Monthly ADHD Support Group Meeting
City: Aptos Phone: (831) 684-0590 view all details >>
     
Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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Blessings
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  Blessings
Date:
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First Saturdays Open House
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  First Saturdays Open House
Tannery Arts Center
Date: The 1st Sa of every month from 12:00pm to 5:00pm
Ages: All ages
Details: Join us in art activities for all ages
City: Santa Cruz Phone: (831) 621-6226 view all details >>
     
     
  Ask Nicole: continued

Dear Rachel,

While some children readily share their thoughts and emotions, others keep their feelings private until they are ready to share. It's a good sign that your daughter trusts you enough to share what's been going on.

It's possible that your daughter is experiencing a natural transition in her relationship with her best friend. As they grow older, they may develop different interests and want to have other friends. Or, they might be so close that they have an "I love you/Leave me alone" dynamic that is common among siblings. The fact that they've remained best friends through all the highs and lows could mean that your daughter has learned ways to cope with the lows. That's a sign of resilience, which is a quality that will serve her well as she faces other challenges throughout life. Here are some tips to keep the discussion going with your daughter:


Ask how she feels and what she does when her friend ignores and excludes her. Start with open-ended questions - "How does it make you feel when she does that?" "What do you do when she ignores you?" - then gradually ask more specific questions to gauge whether your daughter is struggling to deal with her friend's behaviors - "Do you feel like that works?" "Does that make the situation better, worse, or the same?"

Look and listen for clues about how your daughter is coping with her best friend's behaviors. If your daughter becomes upset or talks about being isolated and lonely, that gives you an opening to discuss what else your daughter would like to do and if she'd like you to get involved. If your daughter describes other friends and social activities she enjoys, then you might need to let her continue handling her friend's behaviors in her own way.

Show empathy and acknowledge healthy coping strategies. Let your daughter know that her feelings are valid - "It's OK to be sad when friendships change" - and recognize her efforts to cope with the situation - "That's very mature to say that you don't like your friend's behavior, but you still value her as a person."

Encourage your daughter to continue building and maintaining healthy friendships. Peer pressure and the desire to be "popular" can often overshadow common sense about what constitutes a healthy relationship. Ask your daughter how she defines a "good friend" and what behaviors she will and won't tolerate from friends.. Encourage or create opportunities for your daughter to participate in a variety of activities to develop a diverse set of interests and friends.

Be available to listen, talk and provide support. Hold off on offering advice or solutions unless your daughter asks for it. Try asking, "Is there any help or support that you'd like from me when this happens?" to find out what support would be most helpful to her. Then let her answers guide your actions.

Final Thoughts: Navigating friendships during the tween and teen years is hard. So is finding the right balance between being a supportive and protective parent. Adolescence (and raising adolescents) is tough, with all the awkward physical changes, raging hormones, mood swings and rebellious streaks during these glorious years. And yet, as painful as it may seem, learning to cope with the highs and lows of friendships helps adolescents develop valuable coping, communication and social skills they will use throughout life.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 11 and 14, who also manages Santa Cruz County's Triple P - Positive Parenting Program, the world's leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. For more information, including classes and one-on-one meetings to help parents handle everyday parenting challenges, visit http://triplep.first5scc.org, www.facebook.com/triplepscc or www.youtube.com/triplepsantacruzco. To find a Triple P class or practitioner, contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org.

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